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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most 7 year olds could manage to look after themselves at home (with a parent in the house)?

120 replies

JennySpanner · 31/03/2022 21:51

Just curious as to what other people think really as my cousin has a stomach bug and asked me to have her seven year old as she said she couldn't cope with looking after him whilst she was ill.

Putting aside the fact he could be harbouring the same illness and potentially infectious, I did wonder why a seven year old can't just potter about at home with minimal input from a parent. It's not as if she was passed out, she was poorly and I know it's horrible having d&v but wouldn't most kids that age be able to understand that their mum is staying in bed and they'll have to entertain/ feed themselves for the day?

Would you say a child that age needed looking after?

OP posts:
Reluctantadult · 31/03/2022 21:55

Well my 7yo could feed herself, use the TV, might play a bit, but certainly wouldn't leave me alone from incessant inane questions and chit chat?! So maybe your cousin wanted some peace 😁

Unsureaboutit9 · 31/03/2022 21:56

Well they wouldn’t be able to prepare their own food and drink for one thing, theyl be worried and needy. Guessing you don’t plan to help?

Linguini · 31/03/2022 21:56

Fuck what the kid can or can't do.

If I were in bed with a terrible illness, and on my own with a 7 year old, I'd be asking for support.

A 7 year old can understand "entertain yourself" for about 30 minutes in my opinion.

Chatwin · 31/03/2022 21:56

I would get no peace with a 7 year old around and all I wanted to do was sleep and dash to the loo. They might be able to fend for themselves of a fashion, but not leave me alone for any length of time.

Weepingwillows12 · 31/03/2022 21:56

I think mine would be ok but agree he would want a fair bit of my time so maybe she just wants a break.

Whatinthelord · 31/03/2022 21:57

My 7 year old could mainly entertain himself but throughout the day he would still want a lot from me. He’d get bored of playing alone, want something to eat, end up messing about and need me to stop him etc.

It’s doable having a 7 year old with you, but much nicer to actually have someone else watch them so you can get some proper rest.

Feckaffoutofit · 31/03/2022 21:58

Personally I wouldn't ask someone else to look after my child for a day if I had a bug.

WlNDMlLL · 31/03/2022 21:58

I teach 7 year olds and whilst they vary massively I wouldn't imagine many could sort food out for themselves begone easy snacks (crisps etc) or a slice of toast/bowl of cereal. And like the pp said, some would chatter on and on and on...

123cupcake4 · 31/03/2022 21:59

If mime had a tablet he wouldn't even think to come find me and could get snacks and drinks. Could make toast if needed but couldn't cook a meal... unless toast and cereal and endless snacks would be OK. But a d and v bug could be a couple of days. Although I also wouldn't have anyone to watch and when I've been ill we have had to make do and crack on. But if I could help a family member or friend I would too

Whatinthelord · 31/03/2022 21:59

Maybe she wants to be able to have her runny poos and spew up without a 7 year old sat outside the bathroom door asking her which armour she thinks they should put on on minecraft.

WlNDMlLL · 31/03/2022 21:59

Sorry that should have said 'beyond easy snacks'

ukborn · 31/03/2022 21:59

Yes I do. What if the mum needs to sleep? What if someone comes to the door/the kid wanders outside/ turns the stove on/ tries to make his mum a cup of tea and burns themselves?
For the same reason you need a childminder if you are working from home with young children you need someone to look after them while you are sick. Sure many people don't have anyone they can call on, but I bet they are up and trying to carry on, not getting the rest they need.
If you don't want to do it don't. But I can see why she has asked - far better for both of them if someone else is on hand. You may not have to entertain a child of that age, but they are too young to care for themselves for several hours.

BaronessBomburst · 31/03/2022 22:01

At 7 my DS could definitely have helped himself to fruit and sandwiches and would have happily watched Minecraft videos for hours. if I'd let him

ldontWanna · 31/03/2022 22:01

My 7 yo could and did. But not all kids are the same,have the same needs or have the same setup.

If she needs help, she needs help.

Tdcp · 31/03/2022 22:02

My 7 year old is very independent ..except when I'm with her ofc, then she can't do a thing for herself 😂 ..not to mention the constant chatter and questions. cousin obvs needs a break for a while.

Yika · 31/03/2022 22:02

My own child at 7 year old wouldn’t have just ‘pottered about’ in a self-contained way but I suppose some children might. I dont think it would be the norm. Possibly from 9 or 10.

MangyInseam · 31/03/2022 22:02

My 5 year old can do this, she can use the tv, play, toilet, and make a snack. I'd not get any real sleep, likely, but it wouldn't be totally awful and I could rest. But, she's the youngest of four which in my experience makes a difference, onlies sometimes tend to do things a bit later in my experience as it's easy for the parent to inadvertently keep doing stuff for them.

So maybe she wants to take some sort of sleepy drugs and totally zone out, or she might have a really needy kid. But I'm not sure if I'd in that situation unless it was a desperate situation because of the spreading illness possibility.

JoeGio · 31/03/2022 22:03

I had a weird one-day illness where I was so dizzy and faint I couldn't stand up without vomiting. My 5yo looked after me and his 2yo sister all day with some direction from me, but he managed to keep them entertained and made cheese and biscuits for lunch. He's not usually at all sensible but actually he was proud of being relied upon and was a superstar all day although my house looked like a bombsite.
So I would imagine a 7yo should be able to manage no problem.

NuffSaidSam · 31/03/2022 22:07

Not happily for an extended period, no.

Could do for a couple of hours.

Could do it if necessary for longer, but as others have said it would be chatty and attention-seeking which isn't ideal if you've got d&v.

EinsteinaGogo · 31/03/2022 22:08

If my cousin contacted me to say "I'm really ill, could you help me", the last thing I'd do was post on Mumsnet to figure out my response.

Readyforspring · 31/03/2022 22:08

Depends on the child. My eldest i could have, and did once 2 days i barley got out of bed with a bug. I had no one at all to ask.
I literally let him eat cereal, crisps cake chocolate you name it. Watch tv play lego.
He would lay with ne to watch a film and i kept sleeping

My Middle one i could imagine she'd not shut up. I mean i cant pee in peace with out her wanting to chat random stuff. I mean today it was about xmas ideas!
I would prefer someone had her if i was ill BUT it wouldn't be a big deal if not. Id just suffer more (lighthearted)

Flickflak · 31/03/2022 22:10

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

TheYearOfSmallThings · 31/03/2022 22:11

The best way to investigate this is to agree to take the 7 year old. After minding him for a day you will have a much clearer idea why someone who is feeling awful might want a bit of help.

peasandcarrrots · 31/03/2022 22:12

A 7 year old can certainly entertain themselves for periods of time, and get their own drinks and snacks.

They also mither and moan and won't give you any peace and quiet.

It's better all round if they can be looked after.

TheBolterdahling · 31/03/2022 22:13

My middle would have been fine at that age, my eldest maybe but whingy when bored and but my youngest absolutely not. And none have special needs, that’s just normal variances