To think most 7 year olds could manage to look after themselves at home (with a parent in the house)?

[JennySpanner]

Just curious as to what other people think really as my cousin has a stomach bug and asked me to have her seven year old as she said she couldn't cope with looking after him whilst she was ill.

Putting aside the fact he could be harbouring the same illness and potentially infectious, I did wonder why a seven year old can't just potter about at home with minimal input from a parent. It's not as if she was passed out, she was poorly and I know it's horrible having d&v but wouldn't most kids that age be able to understand that their mum is staying in bed and they'll have to entertain/ feed themselves for the day?

Would you say a child that age needed looking after?

I was poorly in bed for 3 days a few weeks ago and I felt so bad for my 12 yo.
As a lone parent I already feel he misses out on a lot and to compound that with me being pretty unavailable felt awful.

I didn't need anyone to take care of him, but boy it would have been nice to have had some time w/o the pressure of always being on duty just to be able to sleep or switch off entirely.
When you're responsible for a child you can't switch off - does he need me, is there a fire, has he switched the water off, what if the door bell rings, are his brains melting cos he's been on Xbox for days, is he sad and lonely.

People don't just need help in absolute emergencies.

As a lone parent I have been in this position. If necessary you set up snacks for dc and switch tv on

If my adult cousin asked me for help, that I was able to give. I assume my cousin was capable of assessing her capabilities and if she deemed herself unwell enough to properly care for her dc and asked me to care for a 7 year old. I would. I might also check in on her regularly afterwards.

People have forgotten, diarrhoea can kill, depending on few factors.

Most people are saying 'yes to X extent but would need' which is pretty much no isn't it? If I had d and v it would be made fifty times worse with having to look after any single child (and this is from a mother of 4 who loves them to tatters!!!).

I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to look after a child from a house with a stomach bug doing the rounds. I've had to look after my kids alone when all three of us have been ill. You just have to muddle through. It's grim at the time but soon over.

Of course a 7 year old can do that. Put them in front of the TV. Tablet. Or a book
Or all above. And I hope at that age they'd be able to make breakfast and a simple lunch.

At 7 yes i think they should be able to deal with the situation. My kids gave me a bug and of course were better by the time i got it! i felt so ill i just pulled the sofa bed out and laid there most of the day, they sat around me playing games, reading etc! they are 6 & 7 so can fix their own drinks and grab snacks. i ordered an uber for their dinner. no they didn't get dressed, no they didn't brush their teeth, yes they mainly ate junk all day but also we survived the day and sometimes that's all that matters!

Why isn't the kid at school?

@WindyKnickers

Why isn't the kid at school?

Uh, presumably because the mum has a vomiting bug and is incapable of taking them there?

I had a sickness bug Feb half term when the kids were off. 6 and 9 and it was utter hell. yes they did manage about 4 hours leaving me alone but after that they needed things. took me twice as long to recover. having a sickness bug with kids is absolute hell!

@Unsureaboutit9

Well they wouldn’t be able to prepare their own food and drink for one thing, theyl be worried and needy. Guessing you don’t plan to help?

A 7 yo more than capable of making a sandwich and getting water from a tap

@WindyKnickers

Why isn't the kid at school?

Easter holidays mate

@A580Hojas

I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to look after a child from a house with a stomach bug doing the rounds. I've had to look after my kids alone when all three of us have been ill. You just have to muddle through. It's grim at the time but soon over.

This^

Yanbu OP. Did you look after your cousins child or not? The last thing I'd be doing is sending my child to another family potentially with contagious D&V that I had!

I had to stop reading the thread as it was frustrating me the number of PPs/ parents who say they can't look after their DCs - especially a 7 year old who is in Year 2-3 at school!!!- when they are temporarily ill, so someone must take them to look after them!? I can understand asking for the Dad to stay home from work that day but not potentially sharing D&V to another family!

Well depends if they have previously done a snack or had to entertain themselves. But I agree that they should. Maybe the parent just wants total rest by themselves. If the 7yo is loud or can't keep to themselves due to just being social.

I'm originally from Northern Europe where its normal for 7yo to be home alone for a few hours after school nd be out with friends alone so I'm not the beat commentator.

My dds would have been fine at that age, indeed I used to work nights and would often have a nap (on the settee)

Could you drop food round and offer to walk dogs

A 7 yo more than capable of making a sandwich and getting water from a tap

Sandwiches and tap water for all three meals? Same with the pp saying they should be able to make a ‘simple breakfast and lunch.’ What about their evening meal?

Maybe the mum was hoping her cousin might help her out so her child doesn’t have to eat a sandwich for all three meals and sit by themselves all day. It doesn’t seem a lot to ask your family if you ask me.

This is a live issue because I'm at home with a 7 yo (both have covid, he's very bouncy and will hopefully test negative a second time tomorrow, I'm definitely not bouncy and decided there was no point testing to see if I'm negative yet). There's a big distinction between what he /could/ do and what he /would/ do left to his own devices - home learning definitely wouldn't be happening independently. We're managing OK with quite a bit of nagging from the sofa!

My 7 year old could get himself up, washed, dressed and do his breakfast and cobble together a lunch. I'd probably have to order in a takeaway for dinner though.
He'd be happy playing on his Switch and looking at his tablet.
Not sure about the peace and quiet for a whole day though.

Sandwiches and tap water for all three meals? Same with the pp saying they should be able to make a ‘simple breakfast and lunch.’ What about their evening meal?

It's for one day! They're not going to explode or die of malnutrition just because they've only had cereal and cheese sandwiches for 24h, lol.

I get why you wouldn't want to look after them in case the bug gets passed on. My kids could have occupied themselves mostly, though I think an only child would be pretty lonely and more likely to want company from sick mum. This would have been hell for me when sick, though some will find it easier to cope with.

My suggestion would be that you could help massively by taking food round for the kid for dinner and check in on them occasionally during the day, if you're local. This would give your cousin less to worry about, which would be a comfort.

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

Sandwiches and tap water for all three meals? Same with the pp saying they should be able to make a ‘simple breakfast and lunch.’ What about their evening meal?

It's for one day! They're not going to explode or die of malnutrition just because they've only had cereal and cheese sandwiches for 24h, lol.

I didn’t say they’d explode. It’s not ideal, and it’s not a huge ask for a family member to care for your child while you’re unwell.

I've been ill on my own in the house with a 6 year old before and it was a fucking nightmare. They were ok at getting a bowl of cereal, getting dressed etc but next time you're ill just imagine someone droning on at you incessantly about dinosaurs while you're trying to nap and then playing dinosaurs right next to you, then on top of you and you'll get the idea!

It's obviously up to you whether you want to have the child over or not OP, but I think you're being pretty optimistic to imagine most 7 year olds would be fine pottering about with minimal input from a parent. Because that requires them to be willing and able to do all three of keep themselves safe with minimal supervision, get food and drink when needed and not mither the shit out of the vomiting parent when they get bored and want company.

Assuming no SN etc which you would presumably have mentioned, I'd expect the large majority of 7 year olds to be able to do at least some of this. Your DN is probably capable of at least one of these things. I'd be much less confident that any given 7 year old would be willing and able to do all of it.

YABU - sickness bug is horrible - you probably wouldn't be out of bed, want to sleep or spend your time in the toilet. Although a 7 year old could potter about they would prob get bored, you'd still need to feed them etc and cooking etc would be awful when feeling sick and you wouldn't be able to nap. I don't think anyone would choose to be in that situation with a youngish child. However YANBU not wanting to catch it and not having him, many people do manage to cope alone, single mums who have no choice such as myself and I have 4 children - their own dad avoids them at any hint of illness in our house!

They could probably make do but it would be hard work and not pleasant for either of them, so not unreasonable of them to ask for some support from family/friends.

I would do it for someone I know if I was free. If I was working probably wouldn't be able to easily, but if it was a weekend I would rearrange plans to help them.