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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most 7 year olds could manage to look after themselves at home (with a parent in the house)?

120 replies

JennySpanner · 31/03/2022 21:51

Just curious as to what other people think really as my cousin has a stomach bug and asked me to have her seven year old as she said she couldn't cope with looking after him whilst she was ill.

Putting aside the fact he could be harbouring the same illness and potentially infectious, I did wonder why a seven year old can't just potter about at home with minimal input from a parent. It's not as if she was passed out, she was poorly and I know it's horrible having d&v but wouldn't most kids that age be able to understand that their mum is staying in bed and they'll have to entertain/ feed themselves for the day?

Would you say a child that age needed looking after?

OP posts:
sunflowerdaisyrose · 31/03/2022 22:14

By 7 of course most should be ok and also understand their mum is ill. Both of mine were capable before 7 of making a sandwich and can definitely occupy themselves with unlimited screen time!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 31/03/2022 22:14

Unfortunately by that age my then 7yo could not only get herself a sandwich, juice, fruit, yoghurt etc, play and operate the TV, she would do the same for her 5yo sister when I had a bad migraine attack.

I hated it. She shouldn't have had to been able to do it.

Freetodowhatiwant · 31/03/2022 22:15

My seven year old could entertain himself on devices but not do much in the way of making food. Nor would I want him to. I could happily leave him to fend for himself - aka stuck to his device - for maybe an hour or so but a whole day? I would feel terrible for him. Mind you I can’t imagine being so ill I couldn’t occasionally shuffle downstairs to the kitchen and get him something. But if I was that ill and I couldn’t even do that I do think it would be much more preferable for him to be with someone else

Neverreturntoathread · 31/03/2022 22:16

🤣🤣🤣

My 7 yr old would stand over me poking me saying “mummy I’m bored” all day whike I shiver and vom. Why this is better than playstation I dunno.

Plus demands snack every 30 min.

She’s asking you for help because she’s finding that hard to cope with.

But the 7yr old may well be contagious yes. So tricky and depends how close / nice you are.

NumberTheory · 31/03/2022 22:17

7 is probably a bit young to be feeding themselves unless things have been set up for them. My kids couldn’t have reached half the stuff in the kitchen at that age and if I hadn’t thought to get in the right sort of food they wouldn’t have been able to have a meal as we don’t really have cold food sitting around (though would have been quite happy with fruit, crisps and biscuits, I suspect).

Whatinthelord · 31/03/2022 22:18

I mean even if a child could look after themselves it’s still nice, when you’re ill, to be able to rest completely and not be in mum mode.

Most of us mums trudge through illness with kids in tow because we have too. However it’d be much nicer to not have to if there is someone else willing and able to look after them.

mightbealittlebitmad · 31/03/2022 22:25

Depends on the child/how rubbish you feel.

My 6 year old turns 7 in July and he would be capable of getting snacks, drinks, watching TV and generally entertaining himself. If I felt rough but capable I could manage a whole day but not if I felt really poorly.

My 4 year old I can barely manage a day even feeling a bit under the weather. He's exhausting and relentless, still tantrums like a 2 year old so for that reason alone I would be begging for help even if I wasn't that bad.

I personally wouldn't ask anyone if I wasn't desperate, I would just muddle through but if I needed to I would ask whoever I thought would be capable for my own sanity.

kiki22 · 31/03/2022 22:27

I would never ask someone to have my kids if I had d&v I'd like likely give it to them. She can order a take away for the kid and they can eat snack. My 5 year old can give me peace when I'm poorly I don't know why a seven year old couldn't.

It's miserable having kids when your sick and alone but passing it over to more people isn't fair.

ReadyToMoveIt · 31/03/2022 22:28

Mine are 8 and 6. Yeah they could both manage to sort themselves out if I was ill. However they would want conversation/reassurance etc so I wouldn’t be left in peace. We’d cope as we don’t have any other childcare options but it would be far easier if we did!

elenacampana · 31/03/2022 22:28

Depends on your relationship I guess. I only ever really look after my sister’s kids, the 5yo could probably sort herself out now but I’d still rather take her as well as the younger one so my sister could get some rest.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 31/03/2022 22:31

My son would be able to refill his water bottle, would pass the time by playing the Switch, and come and give plenty of hugs. He would raid the fruit bowl and the crisps, and have a go at preparing a bowl of cereal. It would be fine.

My dd at that age would have been able to make me and her food, she would read to me and watch some telly. But then she would drift, unsupervised to the crafts and I'd wake later to find her having PVAd her eyelids shut, covered the cat in glitter and taped her brothers door shut with washi tapes.

Swings and roundabouts.

But I'd always help a sick friend if I could, rather than starting a thread bitching about them.

autienotnaughty · 31/03/2022 22:32

No my nearly seven year old would not potter about whilst I was vomiting. He would talk loudly, need me to sort snacks/drinks/meals. Want entertaining . I would not be able to sleep or rest.

Howmanysleepsnow · 31/03/2022 22:33

Mine could manage cereal/ toast/ sandwiches/ snacks/ drinks. He’d happily have an excess of screen time and probably bring me glasses of water (he’s convinced that keeping hydrated is the most important thing when ill) and regular hugs. He’d also feed all pets and quite possibly hoover.
He would be most offended at the thought of a baby sitter.

DigsDilemma · 31/03/2022 22:39

Presumably your cousin thought she could depend on you when she needed you? She probably didn't expect you to post on a forum about her and her unreasonable request. It doesn't seem very kind. But anyway, my 7 year old would survive, but he'd want me in the same room as him and if I sent him to do something in a different room of the house, he would repeatedly yell at me until I crawled to wherever he was. My 7 year old can cope happily on his own, precisely until that's what I need/want him to do, at which point he immediately NEEDS me.

AllKnowingGerbil · 31/03/2022 22:47

Mine would happily play minecraft and watch YouTube for hours. He wouldn't be able to feed himself. Not sure I'd be allowed to sleep.

Anoisagusaris · 31/03/2022 22:48

My 7 year old would be perfectly fine. He could get cereal, make a sandwich, snacks etc, get dressed, feed the dog, play outside. Would probably spend most of the time on his tablet or tv if let, but would be perfectly safe. And could bring me water and food if needed.

DockOTheBay · 31/03/2022 22:51

@Unsureaboutit9

Well they wouldn’t be able to prepare their own food and drink for one thing, theyl be worried and needy. Guessing you don’t plan to help?
My 5 year old can make her own breakfast and can reach the fruit bowl and snack cupboard. It wouldn't be haute cuisine but she wouldn't starve, I'm sure a 7 year old could manage for a day. And the parent is there so could help make something easy like beans on toast.
Ahwombimbam · 31/03/2022 22:54

Dc are 7, 8 & 9.
I work nights and if DH is working the next day and they are off school then I make them lunch and leave drinks and snacks out and I sleep on the sofa. I don’t hear a peep out of them. They set alarms on their iPads for lunch time and put their plates away afterwards.
They love Roblox, minecraft and are glad to have a few hours to go on it without me moaning Grin

gogohm · 31/03/2022 23:00

Mine could, it's exactly what we had to do occasionally because I had no back up. But my kids could cook a bit by 7,

Creameggs223 · 31/03/2022 23:01

When I had a d/v bug it completely wiped me out for 2 days no idea what the bug was but I literally slept on the couch while dd 5 at the time just watched cartoons I did end up asking my dsis to look after her as I felt so guilty whenever she woke me asking for something thankfully she did take her untill I recovered.

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 31/03/2022 23:01

My 6 year old, nearly 7, only child, can entertain herself for hours on end, get her own snacks and drink and be fine. However maybe it's that it's unfair to expect it. My niece the same age cannot do this. She is a 1 of 3 and not used to being able to entertain herself.

Creameggs223 · 31/03/2022 23:04

Now dd nearly 7 I think she would be fine and just have extra sreen time and help herself to whatever snacks she wanted maybe make a ham sandwich.

INeedNewShoes · 31/03/2022 23:06

I wouldn't ask anyone to look after DD if I knew there was an infectious bug in our household.

DD is 5 and would be absolutely fine entertaining herself and she'd be fine getting her own breakfast plus she is capable of making a sandwich and helping herself to fruit and snacks. We'd be fine assuming I was able to eventually leave the bathroom and be up and about to cook her a decent dinner at the end of the day.

OzziePopPop · 31/03/2022 23:06

Some could, some couldn’t… both of mine could (and they’re both autistic) but I’d have been driven mad with offers of ‘help’ all day!

Theyellowflamingo · 31/03/2022 23:13

One child could easily manage at seven, despite being autistic. I’d have to fill a few water bottles for him and open some packets and then he’d basically spend all day (and all night given half a chance) watching tv, playing minecraft and building Lego. He wouldn’t get dressed or eat a proper meal, but he’d be fine entertaining himself. I’d probably forget he was there.

My other child at that age wouldn’t leave me alone for ninety seconds. But I wouldn’t send them to go and potentially infect someone else with d&v unless I literally couldn’t keep them safe.