To have followed this teen girl?

[FrightorFlight]

On the school run yesterday I had to run into the supermarket to grab some bits. As I drove around the car park towards the exit I saw a teenage girl in school uniform talking to an adult male. She looked a little uncomfortable and upset. Halfway down the next row of cars I decided to swing back past and see if she had gone. She was walking ahead of the man who then veered off towards the supermarket doors and her in the opposite direction.
She was on the phone and visibly upset. The way the car park works you end up driving past the path the girl exited on. As she crossed the road she finished on her phone so I pulled over and wound my window down (pressed my window down?) and asked if she was ok. Just explained I had seen her talking to the guy, did she know him? She said it was her boss and I commented that she seemed a bit upset. Turns out she had lost her bank card.
Once we got home I was telling Dh and said 'is it weird that I did that?'
Dh says 'yeah, a bit'
Dd1 who is 16 then tells me her and her two friends were approached close to where we were by three adult males on Saturday afternoon. So on one hand it could have been something sinister and on the other hand I'm following a girl round a car park!

Absolutely not weird at all. And as a mother of teen girls, thank you for checking on her. I would hope someone would do the same for mine in such a situation.

If it makes you feel any better I also followed a teenage girl. She looked about 15/16. Was on a train where a 20 something man had sat opposite her (table seat) and started chatting. But she was starting to look more and more uncomfortable and he was asking about her school, telling her she could be whatever she wanted to be and that she was pretty. he was very very weird and the conversation was getting even weirder.
She got off at the next stop, as did I and as did he. I followed her, as he appeared to do also. I stayed discreetly behind her, ready to step in until he went into a shop and I saw her get safely on a bus.

YANBU. I think part of why DH thinks it is weird is because he would be seen less positively than you would be for doing what you did. So to him it feels more stalky.

You did well

No you 100% did the right thing!

We need more people looking out for girls and women. Kudos to you!

no kids here but I would do it and have done it. Not weird at all. And I would (and have) done the same for a young teenaged boy in the same circumstances

@RonObvious

Men don't get it though. I honestly think that if most men really knew the levels of harrassment that women can face they would be horrified. Not to mention that this harrassment can start from the age of 12/13. I don't think what you did was weird at all - you were concerned and just checked that everything was okay. I was regularly followed by a man when I was a teen, and the police just dismissed it as "someone with a crush", and told me to walk a different way to school.

Yes, Men don't know the sheer level of attention that women and girls are subjected to. DP was absolutely appalled when I told him that his 11yo DN has probably already had some sexual comment or gesture aimed at her by an adult man in the street.

OP I will continue to butt in and when it comes to lone women who look like they might need someone. If they want to tell me to get lost I don't take offence!

I was at a train station with two female friends one afternoon.
A guy approached us and wouldn’t leave us alone talking at us not to us. He stood over us a we sat on a bench.
We were trying to be non commital in our replies and was so grateful when a huge tall man approached and pulled out his warrant card.
He was an off duty policeman and he calmly said to the guy why not come and talk to me and leave these ladies to chat.
The man was like a different guy and meekly walked away.
We were so relieved.

I think you did the right thing yes.

As the mum of 3 girls I just joined the thread to say thank you for looking out for her. Yes she was probably fine but you didn’t go in all guns blazing and accused the man of anything, you watched from afar and checked she was ok. Your DH doesn’t understand being a male!

Of course it's not weird - we all need to look out for each other!

Not exactly the same but my Ds went out on his bike last summer and suddenly felt really sick. He stopped on the pavement. He had his phone on him so was able to call me and I obviously went to pick him up....all was fine. He told me a lady had stopped and checked he was ok. I was really grateful that someone had tried to help him. I would have done the same as you op I think. Actually I might have intervened earlier whilst she was talking to him and asked her how she knew him and if she was ok.

Always better to check.

@Nubnamechange

Not weird and I pray to God that people do this for my girls.

Exactly this.

Well done, OP.

Lovely story about the man who gave your DD £20, reminds me of the Norman Awards

normanawards.wordpress.com/

I've done similar when driving down a road and saw a woman looking as if she was in a verbal confrontation with a man. turned the car round and drove back to see if she was ok (the man had gone by then). She said she was and I went on my way

I think you did a really decent and kind thing in making sure this girl was OK. Bless you for looking out for her.

I'm glad this incident seemed to be innocuous. But (hopefully only rarely) there could be a time when someone just taking a moment to notice and ask "Are you OK?" is what makes the difference between an escape or a serious assault.

Best wishes to you. x

As an ex Special Constable, I don't know how many members of the public I've thanked for doing things like this.

However, if they spotted me first, they would point me in the direction of their concern because 'I was better placed to approach' This was more so in the case of males. I always advised males that if they saw a young girl looking distressed and didn't like to approach them, to ask a female to do so if there was one nearby.

@emuloc yes with hindsight I probably should. It’s near a wedding venue so I think I assumed they were from there but it was probably daft to stop instead.

You did the right thing. Your husband would never be in that situation so really can't comment on whether it's weird or not. (It's not). I'm sure that woman is very glad you checked on her

Where I go walking (in a group) can be a bit isolated if you wander off the popular paths. On a few occasions we have seen people stretched out alone under trees or flat on the grass. We always walk over and say is everything ok. They are usually just grabbing a bit of sun or whatever, but the thought that someone might need some help and we walked by is awful. I am not talking about people casually lounging on a picnic rug with a bottle of something and a sandwich btw, we leave them in peace!

YANU. Well done for getting involved. I’ve done similar myself, but DH agreed I was right to check as long as I wasn’t getting myself into a dangerous situation.

I've done that kind of thing before...not weird at all imo, but equally not surprised your DH doesn't get it.

I’m really glad you did this for her. I’d have done the same x

You did the right thing :-)