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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by people being early

134 replies

Isittimeformynapyet · 30/03/2022 19:52

If I arrange to do something at a given time I am always ready. But I'm often inconvenienced by people arriving "virtuously" early.

Should I just be ready early for everything?

OP posts:
Mincingfuckdragon · 31/03/2022 16:33

God I have relatives like this. Turning up 30 minutes early for a dinner party at my home, then pointedly commenting that I'm 'rushing about' instead of chatting with them and pouring their drinks. The last time they did it was a few months ago and I decided I'm never having them back (they have in the past also frequently invited themselves over for dinner as I'm a reasonably competent cook and serve decent wine, that's a whole other thread though).

Woobeedoo · 31/03/2022 17:17

My DPs parents would always arrive at our house 30minutes early. MIL would badger FIL that they left their 15-minutes-away house early incase they ran in to traffic but they never bloody did. She’d then arrive and criticise that I was finishing the vacuuming or that the bathroom toilet seat was wet (I’d just cleaned it and if they arrived on time it would’ve been dry). We even tried telling them to arrive half an hour later - so telling them 7:30pm instead of 7 but they then started arriving 40mins earlier. Argh.

Indicatrice · 31/03/2022 17:20

@Mincingfuckdragon

God I have relatives like this. Turning up 30 minutes early for a dinner party at my home, then pointedly commenting that I'm 'rushing about' instead of chatting with them and pouring their drinks. The last time they did it was a few months ago and I decided I'm never having them back (they have in the past also frequently invited themselves over for dinner as I'm a reasonably competent cook and serve decent wine, that's a whole other thread though).
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Original poster
Isittimeformynapyet · 31/03/2022 22:05

Thanks for all your replies.

Anyone who has the compulsion to be early but waits in their car/read a book/dick around on their phone is beyond reproach - keep being early 😇.

But those who simply turn up too early and expect attention (eg. for a training workshop where the trainer needs to calmly get things organised, or the host needs to change and put a bit of makeup on etc) has any of the thread explained why it might actually be annoying? 💐

OP posts:
woodhill · 31/03/2022 22:15

I hate people arriving early.

Mil was terrible and it's because she has nothing better to do.

Whatever the event she is always annoying early and then distracts people

Kanaloa · 31/03/2022 23:15

Well obviously someone turning up to an event early and expecting the organiser to drop everything to cater to them is rude but I don’t think that’s got much to do with punctuality - more just being a rude person with no clue how to read the obvious signs someone is busy.

GoldenOmber · 31/03/2022 23:55

I have relatives who do this. At least 30 minutes early, quite often an hour or more. Drives me bonkers when they come round to visit. You’ve invited them for 1 planning to be ready for them by 12.30, but then they’re at the door at 11.45 going “oh, we thought the traffic/weather/alien invasion forecast might be bad and we didn’t have anything else on so we decided we’d just get going.”

LondonQueen · 01/04/2022 07:24

Absolutely, 5-10 minutes is fine, that's just good planning with traffic etc, 15 mins plus is annoying.

Badbadbunny · 01/04/2022 08:41

@LondonQueen

Absolutely, 5-10 minutes is fine, that's just good planning with traffic etc, 15 mins plus is annoying.
If 5-10 minutes, just sit in your car and wait around the corner.
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