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Original poster

To be annoyed by people being early

134 replies

Isittimeformynapyet · 30/03/2022 19:52

If I arrange to do something at a given time I am always ready. But I'm often inconvenienced by people arriving "virtuously" early.

Should I just be ready early for everything?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 30/03/2022 20:38

DH's best friend arrives hours early for things. Drives me potty.

So he gets me in my pyjamas and handed jobs to do. If he's two hours early, he's host not guest. And TBF he does it without complaint.

ExH was always late and that was worse.

Eeksteek · 30/03/2022 20:46

Depends. I try to be early because getting DD moving is such a nightmare, but it’s rude to arrive early at someone’s house if they are like me and likely still to be cleaning the loo, hiding the laundry and organising the catering. I’m totally happy to pitch in though. Tbh I don’t have many friends who wouldn’t expect to be given a job, either!

Original poster
Isittimeformynapyet · 30/03/2022 20:54

Sorry, I wasn't very explicit with my post!

There are two things I'm thinking of;

I work in a cafe and finish at 3pm. Today the art director had invited a group to come and hang their pictures at 3:30pm and had scheduled a separate meeting beforehand. The eager art group started arriving at half past two and were constantly badgering the art director with stuff that was due to start at half past three while she was in this other meeting.

2nd thing: I smoke but my BF doesn't. I try not to smoke when I'm with him so I always time my last cigarette for ten minutes before he arrives, so when he gets here 15 minutes early I start off on the wrong foot. Yeah, I know...

OP posts:
rosesinmygarden · 30/03/2022 21:02

I run my own tutoring business from home and have back to back appointments.

People regularly arrive 10 minutes early and repeatedly ring the bell/bang on the door/rattle the handle, expecting an extra long lesson.

I'm quite blunt with them now. They pretend they've not realised what they've done and act all 'ditsy'. They know precisely what they're doing.

They never pick up 10 minutes early. Ever.

It's incredibly rude and entitled behaviour.

Indicatrice · 30/03/2022 21:15

It’s just as rude to be early as late.

balalake · 30/03/2022 21:26

At someone house perhaps, because they could be in the bathroom, not fully dressed.

Elsewhere no harm in being early.

MsFogi · 30/03/2022 21:28

@LardyDee

Other people turning up at my house early - rude. I'll still be hastily bleaching the bog.

Other people turning up anywhere else early - I'm entirely in favour, I don't like having to wait around for people being late.

This! Hugely rude to arrive early at someone's house (should be 5-15 mins late when going to someone's house). Anywhere else, fine to be early!
BlancheB · 30/03/2022 21:46

It's really bloody rude to be early. All the people saying they like to be early, so fucking what?! It's not virtuous, it's not mannerly. Just get there on time.

Late/early - they're the sides of the same coin.

RedskyThisNight · 30/03/2022 21:50

This! Hugely rude to arrive early at someone's house (should be 5-15 mins late when going to someone's house). Anywhere else, fine to be early!

Depends how far away the house is surely? If you've got a long journey then any expected arrival time must be only approximate and I wouldn't expect a guest to sit on the drive and wait for the sake of "politeness". If the house is only 15 minutes away and you're 20 minutes early, then that's rude.

PotteringAlong · 30/03/2022 21:51

This! Hugely rude to arrive early at someone's house (should be 5-15 mins late when going to someone's house).*

No, @MsFogi you should be on time. Turning up 15 minutes late is also hugely rude!

nokidshere · 30/03/2022 21:52

I'm always early, sometimes really really early! I've never been late for anything in my life.

However, I never turn up at someone's house early, just in the general vicinity, a local car park or a cafe where I read until it's time to arrive at my destination.

PotteringAlong · 30/03/2022 21:52

Assuming you’ve not had a 3 hour journey to get there, obviously.

Sunsetmom · 30/03/2022 22:16

I’m always late but hate others being late 🤣🤣 also don’t like people being early as I’m not ready for them 🤦🏼‍♀️

Ionlydomassiveones · 30/03/2022 22:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Babyfg · 30/03/2022 22:23

Oh I hate this too! And I'm an early person!
I had my daughters birthday party at the house and had 3 separate guests turn up 30 mins early! I was like a mad woman! I had to leave them to entertain themselves while I quickly got the last bits of food out!

Or when you're meeting someone and they text like half an hour early saying I'm here waiting outside venue. I'm like well why you twat, you're trying to rush me.

I'm generally early to everything but wait in the car or sit on a bench until about ten mins before. It's my choice to early why would I be badgering people!

Hollyontherampage · 30/03/2022 22:27

My MIL always does this. Turns up 30 minutes early then calls and says in a simpering voice "Im outside your house, but don't worry I can go and sit in a cafe if you like..?" Drives me mad!!

Toothsil · 30/03/2022 22:28

FIL does this, if you tell him to come round at 2, he will turn up at 1.30. It's very frustrating!

bumhug · 30/03/2022 22:30

I work in a salon and it drives us potty when people turn up really early for their appointment! Especially when it's just as we've managed to carve out a 15 minute break to shovel a sandwich in. "Oh don't worry, I know I'm early, you carry on." As if I'm now going to sit and enjoy my bloody cheese sandwich Janet with you sat there tapping your foot with your handbag in your lap!!

I have one client who arrives over an hour early every time and texts to say she'll wait in the car, but she's here already in case someone before her doesn't turn up! 🤯🔫

safclass · 30/03/2022 22:43

I like to be on time however if I arrived too earlier I'd park up somewhere for 10mins etc.
I agree 5-10mins early is acceptable. Longer than that is awkward.

XenoBitch · 30/03/2022 23:14

I think it is ok to be early somewhere that is not someone's home. You can entertain yourself until the person you are meeting turns up. It is rude to turn up early to someone's house. I had a friend show up 2 hours early once. I was in the shower, and my house was still a tip. Was very stressful.

Birdfooddirect · 30/03/2022 23:25

Early is every bit as rude as late. It's inconsiderate whichever way around it is

queenjaneappro · 30/03/2022 23:41

In a work context, post covid lots of remote working still... I hate it when people start a MS teams meeting early.

I'll be in the middle of drafting something and see the notification - so and so has started the meeting (10 minutes early- where do they have the time?) and it stresses me out. I deliberately force myself to ignore it now and join the meeting bang on the start time.

WomanStanleyWoman · 30/03/2022 23:56

@PotteringAlong

This! Hugely rude to arrive early at someone's house (should be 5-15 mins late when going to someone's house).*

No, @MsFogi you should be on time. Turning up 15 minutes late is also hugely rude!

@MsFogi is correct. ‘Around 8’ means no earlier than ten past.
WriteronaMission · 31/03/2022 01:50

I grew up with the rule "turning up on time is late, turning up 5 minutes early is on time." It's a very hard thing to get out of as I got into a habit of setting watches five minutes early so I'd turn up "on time."

Nnique · 31/03/2022 05:17

Haven’t RTFT because I hate this so much I have to post straightaway.

I am in the ‘10-15 minutes after stated time’ camp and nothing will ever change my mind. There have been huge bun fights on this on MN and ultimately it’s one of those issues where the two sides are just never going to meet.

I’m cool with whatever people want to do according to what happens in their circles, according to their background/upbringing, class or culture, etc. But as far as I am concerned it’s the absolute height of rudeness to turn up early and only marginally less rude to turn up exactly on time. So it’s lucky that most people tend to mix in circles where most people do the same thing they think of as polite, as we can all just continue doing it our respective ways!

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