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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby travel HUGE argument

382 replies

blinkywinkytime · 30/03/2022 12:00

Posted in wrong topic

Just looking to get other new parents opinions on an ongoing issue!

A 7 month old daughter being taken on a journey to join grandmother in a restaurant for her 60th birthday. Baby would be in the car for 6.5 hours in one day. No option to stay due to having my foster child over the next day so need to be back for that.

My gut feeling is it's too much travelling for her and she screams in car set when awake. Would sleep probably half of each leg of journey. Husband agrees with me.

Other option to meet half way grandmother refusing as it's her special birthday

AIBU ?

OP posts:
WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 30/03/2022 18:02

@toomanydogsandcats

My parents drive from London to Greece to Afghanistan and back when I was 1 month old I can't really get my head around these neurosis. Some qomwn give birth and are back picking coconuts with a sling the next day.
What on earth has this got to do with ops situation and ops child?

"Some women are in really shitty situations so we should all put ourselves in shitty situations" - what a weird attitude Confused

SirChenjins · 30/03/2022 18:04

Yes - because women working in the fields the day after giving birth is really something to aspire to.

canary1 · 30/03/2022 18:08

toomanydogsandcats

What nonsense! I’d laugh if it wasn’t so sad

toomanydogsandcats · 30/03/2022 18:10

You have no idea about the world.this is a non issue which is so silly it's a waste of time. Go, don't go, who cares its a nothing issue

NdefH81 · 30/03/2022 18:18

@toomanydogsandcats

My parents drive from London to Greece to Afghanistan and back when I was 1 month old I can't really get my head around these neurosis. Some qomwn give birth and are back picking coconuts with a sling the next day.
Grin
NdefH81 · 30/03/2022 18:22

@canary1

toomanydogsandcats

What nonsense! I’d laugh if it wasn’t so sad

Oh I laughed!

C’mon… it’s funny. The op other threads co firms no children, she has a PA and travels business.

Grin
phoenixrosehere · 30/03/2022 18:31

You have no idea about the world.this is a non issue which is so silly it's a waste of time. Go, don't go, who cares its a nothing issue

Yet, here you are posting about such a waste of time, “non-issue”.

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 30/03/2022 18:40

@toomanydogsandcats

You have no idea about the world.this is a non issue which is so silly it's a waste of time. Go, don't go, who cares its a nothing issue
Thank you for taking the time out of your super important day to educate all of us here, who clearly know nothing about the world, that some people have bigger problems.

You're an inspiration 🤣

Hollywolly1 · 30/03/2022 18:41

How about the parents of the baby driving 7 hours and possibly 3 hours in a restaurant plus tired from looking after a young baby,dad working until 9pm the night before and can the mil not think it could get dangerous leaving everything else aside.
Some people do think but they don't care

Saltyquiche · 30/03/2022 18:45

Train? Then Airbnb? Your DH can get the later train

Darkstar4855 · 30/03/2022 19:04

We did a six hour journey to visit family with our son at that stage, and the same going home a few days later. He slept a lot of the way and we stopped a few times on the way. When he was awake I sat in the back with him to play and chat. I think YABU as it’s a special occasion and you have the lunch in the middle to break up the travel. I agree you wouldn’t want to do it regularly but as a one-off I can’t see the issue.

canary1 · 30/03/2022 19:18

NderH81

oh do you mean ‘toomanycatsanddogs’ has no kids and travels business class?
Then it is funny, sure sounds like someone who has neither birthed nor raised a child

Working a field day after giving birth, it’s such a non- issue😂😂😂😂

Doggirl · 30/03/2022 19:19

The "take the train" comments always make me laugh on these sorts of threads. Unless OP and restaurant are close to train stations then you are factoring in taxis or buses at either end, making the journey even more impractical, esp wrt car seat and pram. And the thought of trying to change a nappy in one of those disgusting train toilets...

Public transport is a reality for lots of people, especially those of us without ready access to a car. You take a buggy + seat that will fold (unless you never go on a bus, this will be normal for most people). The only issue I ever had was one stretch of the London underground where the lift had packed up. It's no more disgusting changing a nappy in the train bog than it is toileting oneself--ie sometimes good, sometimes bad. I didn't do a 3hr+ train journey with DD until she was a toddler, but did several of up to 2hrs from when she was a couple of months, and it was fine.

(The fare question is a different issue, but even here if you're savvy there's rarely any need to pay the headline-grabbing prices.)

Original poster
blinkywinkytime · 30/03/2022 19:24

Oh there are some funny responses on here Smile

My AIBU was that MIL and her daughter have reacted badly saying we simply can't be bothered. SIL actually lives abroad so won't be there.

Good to see the general consensus is it's too far when the baby would spend much of the day sitting. We have our foster daughter (disabled lots of additional needs) full time, with some pre planned respite days so the option of staying a night isn't really there both due to that and husbands work ( medicine so lots of on call!)

I was wondering if it was me being unreasonable as my husband is South African and his mother is forever saying things are a lot more relaxed baby wise there.

Thanks all!

OP posts:
Original poster
blinkywinkytime · 30/03/2022 19:25

@Hollywolly1

How about the parents of the baby driving 7 hours and possibly 3 hours in a restaurant plus tired from looking after a young baby,dad working until 9pm the night before and can the mil not think it could get dangerous leaving everything else aside. Some people do think but they don't care
Yes that was exactly my argument, she has zero responsibilities (wealthy so doesn't work etc) very much a lady who leisure's)
OP posts:
Original poster
blinkywinkytime · 30/03/2022 19:26

@toomanydogsandcats

You have no idea about the world.this is a non issue which is so silly it's a waste of time. Go, don't go, who cares its a nothing issue
Blush
OP posts:
toomanydogsandcats · 30/03/2022 19:40

I have 4 but never let it male me like this

stuntbubbles · 30/03/2022 19:42

@toomanydogsandcats

My parents drive from London to Greece to Afghanistan and back when I was 1 month old I can't really get my head around these neurosis. Some qomwn give birth and are back picking coconuts with a sling the next day.
They waited a month to travel such a short distance? Pah! When I was a week old my parents took the boat from Dover to New Zealand then on to Cape Cod. Some women give birth in shackles – not relevant, but nonetheless true.
toomanydogsandcats · 30/03/2022 19:49

Ì have 4 kids and no fuss or drama

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 30/03/2022 19:50

@toomanydogsandcats

I have 4 but never let it male me like this
This you?

Seems you do get angsty on journeys after all.

Weird that since you're looking down your nose at others for getting stressed about travelling with a crying baby.

Baby travel HUGE argument
NdefH81 · 30/03/2022 20:15

Sounds like @toomuchlaundry didn’t enjoy her time with her 4 so probably a long journey like this would have been her idea of hell

* toomanydogsandcats*

This is why I went back to work after a few weeks...step back and actually listen to yourself. The highlight of your day is lining up outside a nursery!!!!!!

NdefH81 · 30/03/2022 20:16

Not @toomuchlaundry

Obviously speaking about @toomanydogsandcats

Sharnydubs · 30/03/2022 20:23

It's really about what you feel comfortable with. There's no harm in babies travelling for special occasions or holidays. People have always taken children long distances if it's the only way to visit close family etc. We drove from Scotland to France when our son was one year old - just ensured plenty of breaks. Babies fly all over the world on journeys much longer than the trip you're taking. Relatives came home from Japan to visit family with their 6 month old. I must admit though that we were fortunate in that our son was happy in any situation as long as he was with us or close family.

phoenixrosehere · 30/03/2022 20:34

I think YABU as it’s a special occasion and you have the lunch in the middle to break up the travel. I agree you wouldn’t want to do it regularly but as a one-off I can’t see the issue.

Is it though? MIL’s birthday was weeks ago and the only one at this restaurant is MIL and her friend. MIL has no job and has the money and time if she so chooses to visit them if she wants to see her grandchild so bad vs making her DH or DIL get up early to drive a 6 hour likely more round trip for a meal with a screaming baby.

Sharnydubs · 30/03/2022 20:42

I was measured in my previous comment, but I'll just say it ;

Life shouldn't always revolve round our children.
Keep them safe from genuine harm and predominantly happy, but sometimes children just have to fall in with what the adults need or want to do !