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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Will Smith/Chris Rock Oscars - where do you stand?

803 replies

Jaggerdagger · 28/03/2022 07:28

www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/entertainment-arts-60898250

I'm a bit on the fence at the moment but shocked from watching this - wondered what others think?

YABU Will Smith had every right to wallop Chris. His wife was clearly deeply insulted. He deserved it.
YANBU Chris was just reading from a script and didn't deserve such a public assault.

OP posts:
AnnesBrokenSlate · 29/03/2022 01:10

Many men that fight other men compartmentalise those behaviours
Any research to support that? Because everything I read when I worked in this area, said the opposite.

This entire incident will be triggering and upsetting for victims of violence. Not only the event itself if they were watching but all the idiots rushing to justify it and paint it as romantic. That belittling of violence is really upsetting and sends a clear message that men are allowed to hit whenever they feel like their feelings have been hurt - and people will rush to excuse them. I mean, we know that's the case but it's been so blatant in the aftermath of this.
All of people infantilising men by comparing them to little boys at school is quite sickening.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 29/03/2022 01:24

I agree @AnnesBrokenSlate

To see a man physically assault someone in a room full of witnesses (powerful witnesses who could have stepped in / demanded he be made to leave etc), continue to berate them verbally and justify it TO APPLAUSE and a standing ovation as "love makes you do crazy things" is about as chilling to former abuse victims as it can get.

People don't seem to be understanding that we aren't calling this specific incident domestic violence, we are saying that it justifies behaviour in the way that has enabled abusers to continue abusing for years and years and years.

"Love made me do it" may as well be an abusers motto.

TerriblyStill · 29/03/2022 02:37

I'm appalled by Will Smith's behaviour. He's a role model to many young, black men. He's just modelled the behaviour that if someone insults you/your 'possession'/wife then it's justified to respond with violence.

I read earlier that black member of the academy board said he was sickened by Will's conforming to the stereotype of 'violent black man' and that Will had damaged the efforts to have this stereotype written off as racist and outdated.

Chris Rock's joke was an absolute pile of shite and Jada/Will could so easily and effectively shamed him for it afterwards but now he's a victim of violent crime .

I too am shocked at the amount of apologists for Will Smith's behaviour and completely agree with those who say if he is willing to physically assault and verbally abuse someone with the eyes of millions upon millions of people on him, what on earth would he do at home behind closed doors.

The whole thing is sickening and has completely taken over the celebration of actors/directors/composers at the top of their game. I'd love to think it would spell the end of his career but we know that violent men continue to succeed as they always have. It's like we've made no progress at all.

Notimeforaname · 29/03/2022 02:53

It was a joke, said by a comedian, at an event know for roasting celebrities.

The screaming and slapping was insane.

The speech afterwards was fuckin weird.
World's gone mad Hmm

Notimeforaname · 29/03/2022 02:53

Known*

Molly333 · 29/03/2022 05:07

As a victim of dv it triggered me where i sat frozen to the spot forcing myself not to cry feeling awful anxiety . It waa the anger in his voice that scared me most! I dont doubt if chris had retaliated that Will would have lost all control torally !

tttigress · 29/03/2022 06:19

Personally I think Smith is going through some sort of mental breakdown (not to excuse his behaviour).

ParisLondonTokyoSlough · 29/03/2022 08:25

@AnnesBrokenSlate

Many men that fight other men compartmentalise those behaviours Any research to support that? Because everything I read when I worked in this area, said the opposite.

This entire incident will be triggering and upsetting for victims of violence. Not only the event itself if they were watching but all the idiots rushing to justify it and paint it as romantic. That belittling of violence is really upsetting and sends a clear message that men are allowed to hit whenever they feel like their feelings have been hurt - and people will rush to excuse them. I mean, we know that's the case but it's been so blatant in the aftermath of this.
All of people infantilising men by comparing them to little boys at school is quite sickening.

Many men learn those behaviours as boys though. They were taught that it's OK to fight other boys but not girls. And some of them continue with that mindset as adults. I know that's how my brothers were raised (but I won't raise my own boys to think any fighting is OK).

Again, people are really blowing this out of proportion by immediately comparing him to domestic violence abusers and wife and child murderers. Jada did not look scared in the slightest, so given the woman closest to him in life was fine, it's not our place to fear for her safety.

Why is it that when a black man (or woman for that matter) does something bad, people compare them to the worst of society, and speculate that the one incident (even in the context of an impeccable and non-violent public and private life) must mean the worst, rather than assessing their isolated incident behaviour for what it is and wondering whether this change in behaviour is reflective of that person's mental state?

Black people never get to represent just themselves, they have to represent:
-other black people (people on this thread suggesting Will has let other black men down by playing into a stereotype - something that would never be said about a white actor),
-societal violence (black on black violence, male violence)

-domestic violence and child murders
-an example to be made of (people suggesting he should be stripped of his awards despite white actors with worse convictions retaining theirs)

I'm sick of this narrative around any black person, and would like just for once, for a black person to be judged on their own merit in the context of their own individual lives.

ParisLondonTokyoSlough · 29/03/2022 08:30

And if this was a white actor the narrative would be concern for his mental health. It's the same with terrorism - a white man shoots school children, or asian women, or a shopping mall and all the news reports are about the state of mental health in the country. A black or brown does the same, and it's about clamping down on terrorism or violence.

ParisLondonTokyoSlough · 29/03/2022 08:33

www.teenvogue.com/story/will-smith-chris-rock-slap-situation-is-not-about-you

Just leaving this here. Stop making violence by a black man to another man into a discussion about why that black man is threatening to YOU. It's nothing to do with you, or any other domestic violence survivors. It's just the same old narrative about threatening black men that has been peddled since the slave trade. Just stop.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 29/03/2022 08:33

Will Smith has apologised for his violent reaction to Chris Rock.

It wasn't right that he reacted by slapping CR.

I think he would be genuinely sorry especially with the violence happening all over the world today.

YetAnotherChanger · 29/03/2022 08:51

@ParisLondonTokyoSlough

www.teenvogue.com/story/will-smith-chris-rock-slap-situation-is-not-about-you

Just leaving this here. Stop making violence by a black man to another man into a discussion about why that black man is threatening to YOU. It's nothing to do with you, or any other domestic violence survivors. It's just the same old narrative about threatening black men that has been peddled since the slave trade. Just stop.

This article right here is exactly what I’ve been thinking re the responses on this thread and the many others.
southeastdweller · 29/03/2022 08:53

@EmeraldShamrock1

Will Smith has apologised for his violent reaction to Chris Rock.

It wasn't right that he reacted by slapping CR.

I think he would be genuinely sorry especially with the violence happening all over the world today.

He’s worried he’ll get his Oscar revoked and is trying to salvage his reputation. His apology came AFTER the academy’s condemnation and statement that they’re taking it further.
cheekyduck · 29/03/2022 09:04

@southeastdweller

Are you joking?

A convicted rapist and two pedo's have not given their oscars back, but Will Smith has to for an open slap to another man...Fucking insane, but I guess they are all white so the question hasn't come up....

Moonmelodies · 29/03/2022 09:05

In the light of the Black Lives Matter campaign, it's alarming to see a black guy getting assaulted on stage at the Oscars of all places.

HRTQueen · 29/03/2022 09:05

It wasn’t really an apology as he made an excuse couldn’t bear my wife blah blah

He is embarrassed that’s the issue. He will never live this down but will carry on working lots of public statements of working on himself Hmm

And handed CR lots of material along with other comedians

cheekyduck · 29/03/2022 09:08

@ParisLondonTokyoSlough

www.teenvogue.com/story/will-smith-chris-rock-slap-situation-is-not-about-you

Just leaving this here. Stop making violence by a black man to another man into a discussion about why that black man is threatening to YOU. It's nothing to do with you, or any other domestic violence survivors. It's just the same old narrative about threatening black men that has been peddled since the slave trade. Just stop.

I know!

A fucking open palm slap, I used to get them in school in the 80's and we're jumping to murder of women and domestic violence, absolute bollocks. Will Smith doesn't represent black people, just as any white man doesn't represent all white men.

This fucking thread and the media reaction speaks volumes about peoples hang ups than the actual event.

StormzyinaTCup · 29/03/2022 09:08

This article right here is exactly what I’ve been thinking re the responses on this thread and the many others.

I agree and good article.

Sharrowgirl · 29/03/2022 09:23

If it comes to light that CR did not know she has alopecia, does that change things? If he thought the shaved head was a fashion choice or for a film role?

ravenmum · 29/03/2022 09:31

@Sharrowgirl

If it comes to light that CR did not know she has alopecia, does that change things? If he thought the shaved head was a fashion choice or for a film role?
I doubt he'll bother mentioning it if so, as he's smart enough to know it could sound like a lie.
felulageller · 29/03/2022 09:36

Violence is never ok

LondonWolf · 29/03/2022 09:39

@ParisLondonTokyoSlough

And if this was a white actor the narrative would be concern for his mental health. It's the same with terrorism - a white man shoots school children, or asian women, or a shopping mall and all the news reports are about the state of mental health in the country. A black or brown does the same, and it's about clamping down on terrorism or violence.
If this was a white man who had struck a black man there would be riots and you know it.
LondonWolf · 29/03/2022 09:40

And his career and life would be finished.

LondonWolf · 29/03/2022 09:42

@tttigress

Personally I think Smith is going through some sort of mental breakdown (not to excuse his behaviour).
Yes I have seen this said many times since the incident. So looks like it's not only white men getting a pass.
youvegottenminuteslynn · 29/03/2022 09:48

@ParisLondonTokyoSlough

Thank you for sharing that article, it's made me want to sit with my thoughts for a while as I have reacted in some of the ways mentioned and can see how I need to think about that and take ownership of it.