Should have I expected a compliment back?

[Mamas123]

So I complimented my bf tonight which he liked and commented back but I was expecting a compliment back? When I asked where's my compliment (in a non serious way) he replied that he couldn't think of one????

I had then said that's rather rude he can't think of one compliment for me - plus he had forgotten to let me know he got on his weekend away safely (he told me he would).

AIBU to expect this back? We've had issues with his lack of comfort and attention. We've been together 5 years. Planed a wedding, children etc. told him that it really affects my self esteem when he says no to cuddles/sex etc.

my dear friend I spoke to about this last year told me to not take him back but when I did she told me she doesn't want to be my friend anymore or have anything to do with it

And it's becoming clear why. Even on these threads the same thing is happening. Sooner or later you have to realise your dear friend and these strangers on the internet have a point. Your friend may well help you if you properly LTB this time and move on, as will many good people on here. Until then you're wasting their time and your own most of all. Forget about finding a good man. Get free of this bad one and find yourself without a man. Find that kind of happiness and self esteem, and only then will the rest of the good stuff come.

You need to just rip the band aid off and do it. Is it going to hurt? Yes! It's going to be so hard but then it's get a bit better ans then it'll get even better ans then it won't even be a thought anymore. There are plenty of MN's giving solid advise. You will be lonely to start off with, but what can you do to fill void? Is there a gym class? Can you perhaps start learning to cook certain things? A club you can join? For me what stick out the most is what your going to do to occupy yourself, if you can find something stick to it and don't look back

[quote Mamas123]@Aria999 I know this... I was single after my last toxic relationship for a couple of years (I only met and dated my bf through a friend) I wanted to remain single but friends and family pushed us together. It was such a whirlwind of emotions. Now I have lost friends due to him and family. I'm alone. So it's so much harder as I will be totally alone[/quote]
You’re taking no accountability. You ventured into the relationship. In the other thread you talked about how the family pushed you together too as if you’re a victim or totally passive.

As others have said, own your life. Stop blaming others for being in this situationship (it’s not a relationship). Even stop blaming him - he’s shown you his true colours and if you’re silly enough to stay what do you expect? More of the same.

Get rid. He's a dick.

But I need to know where to find the help to find the good man? As all I e ever know for 30+years are crappy men!

Just be single FFS.

If you can’t be happy alone you will never be happy in a relationship.

Stay single for the next 12 months.
Work on yourself, get a new hobby, make some new friends, do an online course etc.
Get a sex toy but if you’re really missing sex then find a FWB - do not let anyone move in, do not let anyone keep anything at yours not even a toothbrush, do not talk about marriage or babies etc.

Once you have found your self respect and can manage fine by yourself then you will find the right man.
Right now you are literally getting with anyone just so you can be in a relationship - stop that cycle.

OP I hope you are still around.
I know how you are feeling, its not about the bloody compliment but you want to know he wants you and you made the right decision to take him back.
I've been in your position, barely single since my teens, was with a guy 5 years who frequently used to tell me he wanted out, didn't feel the same anymore. He would leave (we didn't actually live together), 2 weeks later he would beg me to take him back, I always did as he promised it would get better - it never did.
I wanted to believe it would work out so much.
After this happened about 4 times my self esteem was on the floor so this time I dumped him, I still loved him but I couldn't take any more.
Yes its hard but trust me you are sleepwalking through life right now and it won't get better.
If you have a child (sorry not rtft) focus on them, it won't be easy but being single is actually liberating once you get over the early part.
Say Bye to him and MEAN IT, no second chances

Assumptions only lead to resentments @Mamas123 give the compliments without the expectations of one back...

He did cheat on me last year which is where my lack of self esteem with him has gone which he knows of

Good god...get rid of him @Mamas123 is he really worth your time!? Surely you deserve better!!