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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School residential is religious

321 replies

Stephthegreat · 26/03/2022 20:05

Dcs school is CofE and as there are four faith schools closest to us we sent dcs to the nearest one. Neither me or dh are religious but we support the values of the faith and the school.

The school used to go to a really fab place for residential and it was full of activities, adventuring, just a really fun weekend. Ds is due to go on camp soon and the new residential the school have chosen looks extremely religious. Ds really doesn’t enjoy this side of school and has his own ideas about faith.

The programme involves daily bible study and ‘getting to know jesus’. There are bible related games and quizzes and prayer sessions. It looks like they do bushcraft and have a bonfire too which is up Ds street. He’s a bit put off by the whole idea and I also think it’s quite serious!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Rosehugger · 27/03/2022 22:48

There is no such thing as a completely secular school in the UK, by the way.

And parental choice of school is often something of an illusion.

I would've hated this as a teenager. Even if they are religious, it still doesn't mean they'd actually want to go somewhere to study the Bible in depth with their mates. Mind you, I hated the outward bounds/team building trip at YMCA Lakeside we went on as well.

Swimmum78 · 27/03/2022 22:55

Op ignore all the idiots on this thread 🤣. Loving all the suggestions re just move house! Pull them out of school and drive 25 mins. What planet are people on. My kids go to the local c of e school. You don't have to go to church to attend, admissions is through normal lea route. I'd be pretty annoyed for my kids if same thing happened to them. Bible classes aren't a fun residential. I'd take him out of it and send on something like pgl if you can afford.

Rosehugger · 27/03/2022 22:56

Also it's not a very inclusive trip. As well as the people who aren't particularly religious who end up having to send their kids to state faith schools because that is all there is in the area there will be surely be people of other faiths as well.

StoneofDestiny · 27/03/2022 23:10

Don't send your children to a faith school, then complain when they share their faith.If you object to a religious message being part of school events, choose a secular school. It is basically that simple

Previous poster nailed it.
.

EthelTheAardvark · 27/03/2022 23:21

@BikiniB0tt0m

You send him to a Church of England school and complain some of the activities in camp are Christian based? Ok so they are only faith schools around you say (find that hard to believe tbh) but if it is either teach at home or go further to a school, what do you want them to do? My children don't join in in particular things because of our faith and they don't eat pork. The teachers just support them to to some alternative activity if it's something we feel uncomfortable them doing and for food an alternative meal or they take a packed lunch. I don't expect the school to stop doing what they are doing because my family don't believe it.
FFS, it's not just a question of going further to a non-faith school - RTFT. OP has explained that there are no places anyway at the nearest non-faith schools. Is she supposed to make her child spend hours travelling each day? And where did she say she expected the school to stop doing what it is doing?
EthelTheAardvark · 27/03/2022 23:22

@StoneofDestiny

Don't send your children to a faith school, then complain when they share their faith.If you object to a religious message being part of school events, choose a secular school. It is basically that simple

Previous poster nailed it.
.

Gawd, is there any danger of people at least reading the OP's posts, even if they can't RTFT? Secular schools places are not available. It's basically that simple.
EthelTheAardvark · 27/03/2022 23:24

@Stephthegreat

The residential is in Yorkshire, it’s a ‘gospel camp’ run mostly by volunteers who are on a gap year. They have training at Bible training course.

Ds is feeling jealous as his friend from another school is going to Robinwood where they can do caving, rock climbing, etc. There will be no talk of religion and trained staff. The activities at ds gospel camp will be bonfire, adventure playground and Bible quizzes etc.

If those are the only activities, it sounds like your child may as well give the camp a miss. The school should have arrangements in place for children who aren't going.
LBFseBrom · 27/03/2022 23:34

Surely going to camp is optional, eg he doesn't have to.

On the other hand he may enjoy it. Bible study will only be a small part of the curriculum and is hardly going to hurt him as long as there isn't a hard line sale. I wasn't a 'religious' child but I loved Bible study, it fascinated me!

Tdcp · 27/03/2022 23:39

DD goes to a CofE school. They go to church and do the Christianity stuff but DD isn't into it, she got annoyed when they put a cross on her head recently for a ceremony thing but it's part and parcel of being at a faith school. We're not religious but I respect that we're in their zone as it were. I've explained to DD to respect their beliefs but she also doesn't have to believe what they do.

Pandypuff · 28/03/2022 00:33

I would be thrilled about this, it sounds wonderful! Not enough faith schools are actually faith schools these days. Good for them! It sounds lovely.

BikiniB0tt0m · 28/03/2022 00:39

@etheltheaardvark You can keep your rtftffs Hmm I did read the op posts and alot of the others, I'm not reading every single post. But the whole point of the thread was aibu like she wants it to change, when she should know full well there would be issues like that in a Church of England school. In my opinion there is nothing wrong learning about different believes after all trying to understand culture and believes even if you don't agree makes for a more respectful person. You don't have to practice or celebrate it. Just observe and be respectful.

NumberTheory · 28/03/2022 01:15

YANBU to be annoyed at the school, OP. It’s a huge shame for your DS and a desperate act on the school’s part. I would give him the option of attending or not and support him if he wants to attend but not participate in any religious activities. They are not allowed to discriminate against him for his lack of faith, force him to engage in religious activities or punish him for not participating.

NumberTheory · 28/03/2022 01:16

[quote BikiniB0tt0m]@etheltheaardvark You can keep your rtftffs Hmm I did read the op posts and alot of the others, I'm not reading every single post. But the whole point of the thread was aibu like she wants it to change, when she should know full well there would be issues like that in a Church of England school. In my opinion there is nothing wrong learning about different believes after all trying to understand culture and believes even if you don't agree makes for a more respectful person. You don't have to practice or celebrate it. Just observe and be respectful.[/quote]
They aren’t learning about the belief. Bible study isn’t learning about a belief, it’s engaging in a form of worship. It’s a religious practice, not a study of religion.

HappyDays40 · 28/03/2022 02:17

Makes me laugh when parents send their children to a faith school then moan when they study the faith. If you don't like it don't apply to the school. Angry

Bloodybridget · 28/03/2022 03:34

Doing a whole five day residential that seems to be based around Bible study and evangelical stuff is pretty hard-core for a regular CofE school. There will be plenty of kids whose families are not active Christians, the school should rethink this. OP have you talked to any other parents?

Bunnycat101 · 28/03/2022 06:15

I don’t know why you’re getting a tough time. Our local school is quite religious- I’d rather it wasn’t as would many of the other parents there. I love the school otherwise and I love where I live. We wouldn’t get a place anywhere else close as catchments are very tight. Most of the local primaries are cofe ones so don’t really get a chance to avoid a school on religious grounds. I imagine the OP is in a similar position like many people across the country. I grew up in a different county and again had very little choice but to go to one school that was pretty religious.

SpringLobelia · 28/03/2022 06:47

@Laquila

I agree that a lot of people have no idea how limited the options are for some people in terms of school choice. I've encountered a lot of people who think that if they don't have a problem with catchments and lack of choice, then no-one else can either.

I think OP in your shoes I would ask for more info about the planned daily schedule and about who'll be running the activities. And you can't be the only parent apprehensive about it - have you asked around?

This. We are in a catchment area of 3 schools. Two are faith. One is not. You get sent to the school the LA decides you are going to. You can list an order of preference but at the end of the day it;s just luck.
Porcupineintherough · 28/03/2022 06:54

@HappyDays40

Makes me laugh when parents send their children to a faith school then moan when they study the faith. If you don't like it don't apply to the school. Angry
Makes me laugh when posters dont have the wit to understand that many parents (including thie OP) have to send their child to a faith school as their are no other options locally.

Also posters that dont read the thread. What's that about?

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 28/03/2022 07:29

@Bloodybridget

Doing a whole five day residential that seems to be based around Bible study and evangelical stuff is pretty hard-core for a regular CofE school. There will be plenty of kids whose families are not active Christians, the school should rethink this. OP have you talked to any other parents?

I support this 100%

At best it sounds like a MLM training session, at worse like some kind of a cult that brainwashes people.

The info about it being led by individuals on a 'gap year' makes my blood run cold - kids being looked after by kids? What's that about? Safeguarding anyone? Training levels & credentials?

The whole thing sounds dodgy to me.

BloodyloveGeorge · 28/03/2022 07:31

It’s a faith school. They literally put faith at the centre of everything they do. Not sure where you live that the only school choices your have are faith schools but a focus on religion is going to be important to them.
YABU.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 28/03/2022 07:38

@BloodyloveGeorge

It’s a faith school. They literally put faith at the centre of everything they do. Not sure where you live that the only school choices your have are faith schools but a focus on religion is going to be important to them. YABU.
ITS NORMAL IN THE COUNTRY SIDE. Every single village around here is CofE with the exception of the Catholic one and the old RAF base one. The second closest Secondary is CofE and the only choice for the catchment villages. Everyone goes to their village Primary.
DaisyWaldron · 28/03/2022 07:52

I'm astonished by the number of people who don't understand that in a lot of areas, faith schools are the only option. I'm lucky enough to live in the catchment area of a secular primary and secondary school, but most people in the wider area aren't, and their choice is a faith school, home education or move to a different part of the country.

Bunnycat101 · 28/03/2022 08:02

DaisyWaldron Exactly. Especially when there are lots of posters who have made the same point. There is no choice in lots of areas of the country.

miltonj · 28/03/2022 08:03

If it's Yorkshire camps or the Oakes, your kid will have a great time, genuinely!

I'm not Christian at all, so I'm not trying to push that side of things, but I know loads of kids who have been on these camps and raved about them for years to come.
There are loads of activities. They don't just spend the entire time pouring over the bible.

miltonj · 28/03/2022 08:03

If it's Yorkshire camps or the Oakes, your kid will have a great time, genuinely!

I'm not Christian at all, so I'm not trying to push that side of things, but I know loads of kids who have been on these camps and raved about them for years to come.
There are loads of activities. They don't just spend the entire time pouring over the bible.