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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School residential is religious

321 replies

Stephthegreat · 26/03/2022 20:05

Dcs school is CofE and as there are four faith schools closest to us we sent dcs to the nearest one. Neither me or dh are religious but we support the values of the faith and the school.

The school used to go to a really fab place for residential and it was full of activities, adventuring, just a really fun weekend. Ds is due to go on camp soon and the new residential the school have chosen looks extremely religious. Ds really doesn’t enjoy this side of school and has his own ideas about faith.

The programme involves daily bible study and ‘getting to know jesus’. There are bible related games and quizzes and prayer sessions. It looks like they do bushcraft and have a bonfire too which is up Ds street. He’s a bit put off by the whole idea and I also think it’s quite serious!

AIBU?

OP posts:
EscapeTheCastle · 26/03/2022 20:25

Wow. Harsh replies.
It was the OPSs only option for a local school!
The residential should absolutely not be a religious one. I am annoyed for you op!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 26/03/2022 20:26

The reason why, especially in rural areas, the reason so many schools ate church schools is that the church set them up before state education exist. The schools are now state funded but the land on which they stand belongs to the Church. These are the local schools. Children attend because they live locally, not because of religion.
Its no good saying you should send the to non faith schools. It isn't an option. You live in X area, they attend X school

curlymom · 26/03/2022 20:27

Well it’s a faith school so it a bit unreasonable to expect not to have some religious activity. I guess you could let her go and ask the school if she can sit out of some of the activities. But if she’s he only she might not feel great doing that.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 26/03/2022 20:27

Dd went to a C of E school last 2 years of primary. We moved to East Sussex and the nearest 4 schools to us are C of E.
We are atheist. She just went along with it. Learned the Lords Prayer and sung along at assembly.
In your circs, she would just have gone along with it.

Simonjt · 26/03/2022 20:27

@MadMadMadamMim

Don't send your children to a faith school, then complain when they share their faith.

If you object to a religious message being part of school events, choose a secular school.

It is basically that simple.

All state schools in England are faith schools.

Athiests are denied choice in England unless they are wealthy enough to afford private.

Babdoc · 26/03/2022 20:28

I don’t see how it can possibly harm your DS to be educated about his country’s state established religion while having fun activities. Do you think Christ is a bad role model, or there is something wrong with being asked to love our neighbours?

Tillymintpolo · 26/03/2022 20:29

All state schools are not faith

underneaththeash · 26/03/2022 20:29

Just ask him to be removed from that element on the residential.
Parents are able to pull their children out of RE lessons by drawing on the 1996 Education Act, which states that a parent can request that for their child to be wholly or partly excused from religious education and religious worship in the school
They'll need to find something else to do with him instead (and hopefully won't fun that trip again).

curlymom · 26/03/2022 20:29

@Tillymintpolo

All state schools are not faith
That’s what I was just thinking. 😂
Tillymintpolo · 26/03/2022 20:33

I teach in a secular school so the comment that they’re all faith is utterly ridiculous

Pumpkinpie1 · 26/03/2022 20:35

Why so prejudiced against religion?
It sounds like a lot of efforts been made to make it fun and informative. If you feel so strongly against a faith school maybe you would be happier send him elsewhere and allow a child more interested attend.

SkankingMopoke · 26/03/2022 20:36

Could he be opted out of the religious parts of the trip in the same way you have the right to in school OP?

Xpologog · 26/03/2022 20:39

My 2 DDs went to CofE primaries as that’s all there was. One was awful so changed them to another. Apart from school assembly there was nothing overly religious. I also taught at a C of E school. The vicar lived next door but avoided the school like the plague—- don’t think he liked children.
My DDs went along with assemblies and Christmas Carol concert but would not have gone on camp as you describe. Can’t imagine who’d enjoy that.

SauvignonGrower · 26/03/2022 20:39

A large proportion of rural primaries are Anglican. Unfortunately a lot of posters are entirely ignorant about the history and modern day realities of primary schooling in England. My kids go to a CofE primary. I'd reckon around 1% of the families are active Anglicans.

Your child has a right to experience a residential as part of the National Curriculum. As a parent, you have a right to withdraw your child from religious activities. Gently write to the noting these two facts and enquire what provision they will be putting in place for the children whose parents don't want them to participate in Christian activities.

AtelierDuSol · 26/03/2022 20:41

What exactly do you think is going to happen if he smiles, participates and keeps his opinions to himself? Is he going to be hauled up for blasphemy? Or expelled?

I grew up in a Muslim country but my kindergarten and A-levels were church run. We even had a camp exactly like the one you describe. I listened, had fun, and am still a devout Hindu.

If he knows his own mind then there's even less of a problem. He's not going to be 'converted' if that's your fear. And it's the CoE who are one of the more reasonable anyway

MadMadMadamMim · 26/03/2022 20:44

All state schools in England are faith schools. Athiests are denied choice in England unless they are wealthy enough to afford private.

Utter rubbish. Roughly 30% of state schools in England are faith schools. 70% are not.

tkwal · 26/03/2022 20:44

The best thing to do IMO is to encourage him to go , engage in the activities but not to be afraid to ask questions about whatever he doesn't understand or which challenges his beliefs. He doesn't have to agree with everything he is told or sees but he may start to understand why religeons exist or why people are drawn to them

trussedchicken · 26/03/2022 20:45

YANBU. All the posters saying 'you sent your child to a faith school'.......no, the local school just happens to be CofE. It's very common. Our local junior school is CofE and there are hymns in assembly, a link to the local church, a number of faith (all faiths) related topics throughout the years spent at the school, but it certainly isn't overtly religious. Just happens to be the local school. Their residentials are standard outdoor activities type places. I'd have felt a bit surprised if the residential was as the one you've described. I wouldn't discourage him going, I'm sure if enough of his friends go, he'll have a good time.

Kite22 · 26/03/2022 20:50

YANBU at all

I say that as someone whose dc went to a faith school - not because it is a faith school, but because it was the best school around that they were able to get in to, for lots of other reasons.

I also say it as someone who is a practising Christian.
It seems inappropriate to me to make the school residential - which should be an exciting experience for all the dc to want to go to - into an evangelical camp, even of parents had chosen for the dc to be at a faith school.
Where the OP lives, that clearly isn't the case - the dc have to go to a faith school as all the local schools are faith schools. this wasn't something they opted into, it is the default setting.

How would he feel about missing out on the residential altogether?

MargaretThursday · 26/03/2022 20:51

I'm a Christian, but I don't think that's right. Fair enough if there's a Christian conference centre that they may have right to use, but I don't think it's right on their residential to be doing that sort of thing. If I want my dc on that sort of thing I'll send them to one of my choosing.
More likely to put the children off than anything else too.

M0RVEN · 26/03/2022 20:53

@tkwal

The best thing to do IMO is to encourage him to go , engage in the activities but not to be afraid to ask questions about whatever he doesn't understand or which challenges his beliefs. He doesn't have to agree with everything he is told or sees but he may start to understand why religeons exist or why people are drawn to them
Excellent advice.
StScholastica · 26/03/2022 20:55

Contact the school, explain that you are atheists and that you do not want him taking part in overtly evangelical events. Maybe if enough people feel the same they might be willing yo put on an alternative activity.
Otherwise explain that he is going to learn about what some Christians believe but that as a family, that isn't what you all believe.
It would be a shame for him to miss out entirely though. Also be prepared that often activities like scouts and even Army cadets can often involve an element of worship.

Laquila · 26/03/2022 20:56

I agree that a lot of people have no idea how limited the options are for some people in terms of school choice. I've encountered a lot of people who think that if they don't have a problem with catchments and lack of choice, then no-one else can either.

I think OP in your shoes I would ask for more info about the planned daily schedule and about who'll be running the activities. And you can't be the only parent apprehensive about it - have you asked around?

MissyB1 · 26/03/2022 20:57

@Babdoc

I don’t see how it can possibly harm your DS to be educated about his country’s state established religion while having fun activities. Do you think Christ is a bad role model, or there is something wrong with being asked to love our neighbours?
Totally agree. Don’t be silly OP, no harm will come to him and he might actually have fun! Tell him to stop moaning and be positive about the trip. You are probably putting him off.
Tapsaffweather · 26/03/2022 20:57

I can understand why your son isn’t keen. If reassuring, I used to volunteer at Scripture Union camps and they were great fun. Bible teaching was a key part of the day but most of the time was spent doing activities (from kayaking & large outdoor games to shopping in town & crafts). I didn’t grow up as a Christian so I hope I was pretty aware of how kids may be feeling if they didn’t have the same belief or lots of questions. The talks and discussions were open and didn’t assume knowledge or faith. I don’t know where your son’s trip is going but if similar to SU Scotland then I think it could still be a lot of fun. It may help him learn about others faith and if the Bible conversation isn’t for him then it will only be part of an otherwise (hopefully) fun and busy few days.

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