There's been another update. I had a serious wobble, he was being nice to me and more calm etc, we ended up compromising saying he'll pick dd up at 4 on thursday and friday so she's not at school so long in the week, also said if we move within walking distance of school he can also do morning drop offs at 9 and pick her up at 3 when he's not working. All good. Except it wasn't of course. He's started with the control again, having a go standing over me and dd when she's having an anxiety attack, having a go at dd because of it etc, i didn't stand for it ofc but it still happened, the damage he causes that kid is disgusting.
and then last night, causing a row about nothing, saying I'm awful to him all the time, he can't open his mouth without me shouting at him, (he wanted dd to do another club, i said she won't really have time because i won't be back until 6 every night, he should wait a while and see how she does etc). He said he's constantly walking on egg shells
I laughed. I actually full bellied laughed. I called him out on all of his bullshit, about how things are the way the are with dd, because he's been shit to her, how i take her everywhere because he doesn't go. He wants to take her swimming, except what he means is he MIGHT sit (never in 7 years) and watch while i take her. I wont have time for a while etc. How he's taking out his own insecurities on me and dd, how he's been despicable towards me our entire relationship. Controlling, calling me names, picking on the way i look, talk, act, things i like until im a shell. And then i said it, "I've come to realise lately that you're just like my mother, I've somehow ended up in a relationship with my mother". He started to cry so i told him not to start with the pity me bullshit and me and dd are leaving, or he is, one or the other. I said i dont need him, he needs me. Told him that the only time he shows any interest in me is when hes horny and that the bar is obviously so fucking low for me stay in a relationship and yet he's still fucked it up.
Anyway i woke up this morning to an empty bottle of whiskey and 2 empty bottles of wine. I checked he wasn't dead in his bed and hes just dragged himself out of it and is trying to make me feel sorry for him. I usually would. Id usually stay but not this time. Im so done. I can't wait to leave with dd and my fluffball cats.
Sorry for the ramble and thank you to those that are still here!