School don’t get it when I say I can’t

[NeverEndingFight]

DD is on PP due to my low income.

I’m a single parent.

I do work part time but have no childcare so literally work 4.5 hours a day. There’s no school wrap around and the childminders and external wrap arounds that go to DDs school are full with closed waiting lists.

DD is 7 nearly 8. Is suspected dyslexic and suspected dyspraxia/dcd. She also has hypermobility and vision and hearing issues – she can hear but struggles with subtle differences. I get that she’s complex.

She’s generally well managed at school, behaves well and has friends. She’s working at around Reception level in Literacy and Year 1 level in Maths. She can only read 3 letter words, can’t blend, can’t spell, struggles to hear the difference between sounds due to her hearing, and due to her vision issues struggles to see the differences between letters. She can write but her arm tires quickly and due to spelling ability most of her writing is nonscense.

In the assessment reports we’ve had so far they recommend some apps for DD, I keep being told by school I have to buy them. I can’t afford them; some of them are subscriptions costing £5/month there’s 4 of them and 3 of them want the subscription, the other is a one off cost of £60.

I’m told I should stop DDs out of school activities if it’s a problem as these apps are needed – there’s no guarantee they will work and I only let DD go onto her tablet for a few hours on my weekends, her dad doesn’t let her on at all – they’re apps like Nessy and Reading Eggs but more geared to dyslexia.

Her activities are the love of her life, she doesn’t really enjoy school so she lives for activity nights, and I do think they help her overall. She has gained confidence, and learnt her own abilities. She’s also made friends outside of the classroom.

School then say I should ask her dad for help as he sees her regularly, EOWend only and he doesn’t pay maintenance, if I ask him for money he tells me I’ve got more than him and see her more so it’s my job to pay for things – the CMS can’t find an income for him.

I get told without these apps she will fall further behind, I’m told to work more hours, I asked for them to guarantee her a spot at the wrap around at one of the two external companies so I can work more and got told that’s not their job or up to them.

I asked if school had these apps that DD could try to see if they’ll be suitable but I’m told school can’t afford them either and it’s the parents job to help her progress. School keep saying “If she can crack this we’ll have her reading”

I’m terrified for her future as I know she will struggle for the rest of her primary years. We’ve been rejected for an EHCNA so taking the council to tribunal over that, school are saying we won’t get any more assessments as she’s “Not badly behaved enough”. She behaves in class, but then lets it all out at home, gets very upset over every little thing.

I despair and don’t know what to do. This is the second primary school she’s been to and her last one said the same “She’s not badly behaved enough for an EHCP or 1-1”. I don’t want to move her again as she hates this school slightly less than her previous one.

Just ranting really. I’m sick of fighting. This has come after yet another email last night (that I've only just read) from her teacher saying she needs these apps. I think they think I can't be bothered or expect school to do everything - I read with her daily, I battle her to do homework, I always go to parent workshops, I go to parents evening, I do every medical appointment alone.

The school have one overriding main agenda (producing work ready young people), while generally parents agenda is to produce well balanced, confident, happy and children who thrive. Keep your daughters activities, they bring her joy and fulfilment. Write to the head and the governors asking them to finance these apps to be used in school time.

Ask for where her PP money is being spent specifically on her at the school. Apply if you haven’t for an EHCP.

Are all of this in writing stating that you have been told to buy them by the school and therefore the school need to be them and provide a laptop. End with….

The whole reason X is Pp is because we are an incredibly low income family, I feel it is embarrassing and humilating to be told to buy things specifically for x to help her learning - when I clearly can’t it makes me feel like a failure.

Please can you proactively supportive her and me by providing the resources you have suggested to help her progress.

Many thanks

ms z

@Shinyandnew1

OP, you say that your child has suspected dyslexia but isn’t diagnosed. Can I ask what these assessment reports are that have said you must buy particular apps? Who wrote them?

Reports by an EP or specialist teacher often give suggestions but I have never seen one written as a you ‘must’ buy xyz.

@Shinyandnew1 Someone came into school when she was in Year 2, not an EP but a consultant. The report says that DD has all the traits of dyslexia and developmental co-ordination disorder/dyspraxia but that she cannot say for definite.

Then theres a section that makes recommendations which include these apps. They only say "DD may benefit" but school are insisting she needs them.

Dear Teacher,

First of all, I'd just like to thank you for all your work in finding these apps to support DC, and your commitment to her progress. Unfortunately, I am on a low income, as you know due to DC's PP status, and as such, these apps are really out of reach for us as a family. As they are so vital for her education, it would be great of some if some of her pp funding could go towards this. I completely understand if this is not possible, but I require that same level of understanding back.
In the meantime, if you have any further ideas of what we can be doing at home to support her learning, that are within our remit, it would be greatly appreciated.
Warm regards,
Never Ending Fight.

As a teacher, I wouldn't dare put a parent in this position, they need to have some responsibility here because whilst a lot is out of their control, they need to be putting the support in place at that end.

Does your local authority have a sensory support service - specialist teachers to help with visual or auditory problems? They might have people who can either work with your DD or advise the school on what to do.

My ds was at a reasonably supportive SEN school but we still got the "Oh, he needs this" and then the next teacher would decide he needed something different. So even if you can afford one thing it's never the end if it, and you've set a precedent - oh well you got x, so now you need to get y. Best not to go there!!

I'm not slating the teacher either, I do genuinely think she or the senco believe that DD needs these apps so they can say "We tried everything"

They didn't support the EHCP application insist that she will not get one and have said they will be "Very very surprised" if she does get one.

Sendias where completely useless, said if the school didn't support the application we'd have a big struggle on our hands to get the support.

Will look into some of the charities suggested here. I'm not sure she's classed as hearing or visually impaired but I can speak to them anyway nothing lost.

Can you ask the school what they spend the pupil premium on?

Schools tend to believe whatever rubbish (local policy) is fed to them by the LA. They rarely know the actual law.

Ask what the PP money is going towards. Demand a £ by £ breakdown. Also, give her more screentime - for kids with vision and hearing problems the usual screentime rules don’t apply. Then try some of these free / low cost apps

www.wonderbaby.org/articles/apps-for-children-who-are-visually-impaired

[quote Ozanj]Ask what the PP money is going towards. Demand a £ by £ breakdown. Also, give her more screentime - for kids with vision and hearing problems the usual screentime rules don’t apply. Then try some of these free / low cost apps

www.wonderbaby.org/articles/apps-for-children-who-are-visually-impaired[/quote]
@Ozanj I'm not not giving her screentime, with homework and activities and food and at home physio there's just no other time. She gets it if there's time but often there isn't, Saturday we're usually out most of the day so she gets it for a few hours on Sunday.

Goodness OP - I thought our primary school was hopeless with DS1 but your school sounds spectacularly bad at supporting your DD’s needs. I cannot imagine why they’d be so adamant that you won’t even get DD an assessment for an EHCP and won’t support your request for one. It’s absolute nonsense that EHCPs are only for pupils with poor or challenging behaviour. It’s pretty common to have a fight to get assessed for an EHCP, but if your case does go all the way to tribunal (LAs quite often concede before the tribunal date), there’s your opportunity to show the judge why your DD needs one.

I see that a PP suggested applying for a grant from Family Fund. That’s a really good idea. Also do look at applying for DLA again. It sounds like your DD is likely to be eligible for both.

I agree with posters who've suggested you ask what they're spending her PP on. Do this asap, by e-mail.

I was a teacher for over 30 years and I have never heard of parents being told they gave to buy something. The school are being unreasonable here. I am guessing it's an academy as a lot of things have changed with academisation.

She’s ‘significantly below’ meantime she’s over 2 years behind her expected standard. She’s year 3, accessing reception curriculum. I would absolutely push for actual not suspected diagnosis with your GP/Ed psych, and then an EHCP asap. Then you’ll get funding for her.

Hi @NeverEndingFight, I am an Educational Psychologist and part of my job is diagnosing children with dyslexia for the local authority. First of all, I can categorically say your child does qualify for an EHCP needs assessment - there’s been some great advice on here about places you can seek support through this process but please feel confident that she does qualify and you are in the right here. Once you get the assessment, as part of the process she legally has to be seen by an Ed psych who can hopefully provide some specific recommendations for your daughter.

It sounds like she may have auditory processing disorder - apologies if you have already had this assessed but if not it would be worth pushing for an assessment through audiology.

Please, whatever you do, do not give up the clubs. Fill her life with the things that make her happy - school have her 5 days a week, and if she’s not making progress there, going on an app won’t be a miracle solution. Life is so much more than academics and yes of course we want her reading but we want her happy too. Don’t give them up, please.

As for the apps. It’s already been mentioned that there are free apps around. If she had auditory processing disorder, which is sounds like she does, she will find phonics super difficult as she’ll find it difficult to differentiate between the sounds in words. I would go for a ‘whole word’ approach (alongside the phonics provision she’s having at school) to boost her ability to recognise high frequency words. If you can teach her to recognise the top 100 high frequency words you’ll honestly have increased her literacy so much. I’d pick five at a time and make flash cards of them and just practice them for 5 mins a day. Once she’s got them, do five more. There’s so great info here - www.jellyandbean.co.uk/blog/100-words/

If you wanted to do a bit more with her, the SNIP literacy programme is free, developed by dyslexia specialist tutors, and has ten words to focus on and learn with free worksheets to go with it. You could also do lots of practical games to spot the words - playing bingo with them, writing them with chalk outside and get her to shoot the correct word with a water pistol as you say it, make the words out of scrabble letters or fridge magnets, you can even get ‘colour by sight word’ sheets. You don’t need an app to teach these skills - maybe pick one app and then use other strategies.

Another alternative is Toe by Toe - it’s about £20 for the book on Amazon and takes about 10 mins per day but my god it WORKS. That would be a much better investment than any £60 app, seriously.

I’m a teacher and this is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard from a school. What do they think happened before apps like this existed!?

Please push for an EHCP close down the conversation by saying you have told them that you are not willing to stop activities she enjoys and that you want them to explain how they are going to support her with their education. DM me if you’d like some support.

*her education

Sorry here’s the link to the SNIP literacy programme -

www.snip-newsletter.co.uk/pdfs/downloads/literacy_programme_1.pdf?fbclid=IwAR10xlHVP3ubzZ1rf-MywVPz1_Ohbj_PZeXFa4NHfYU9CLdE3xn1vHSfLwg

When do academy told me he wouldn't get an ehcp. I told them it wasn't in their emit to decide that and all they had to do was speak their opinion at tribunal.

Gave me the only laugh I had the whole time he attended (not even the whole of year 7) watching a senco dispute what a clinical psychologist wrote about ds because she didn't ask the senco opinion. And the judge pointing out that her role was senco and best she stuck to her area of expertise.

I would highly recommend you speak to the charity IPSEA who advise on educational issues to do with children with special educational needs as the info you've been given by the school is shockingly incorrect.

I'd push for some financial support from her father. She is his responsibility as well, no matter what he says

Can you list the apps so people can suggest alternatives?

My daughter has everything your daughter has bar hearing problems although she is sound sensitive. At school she has an easy write stabilo pen and tilted board for writing (recommended by OT), her school do exercises for Hypermobility with her (recommended by Physio), she does Toe by Toe (workbook for dyslexic children to help with reading and writing), touch typing and extra spelling and handwriting help, she also attends a nurture group. My daughter doesn't have an EHCP as i feel her needs are met at school. Her school referred her to our local Child Development Centre which is how we saw the OT and physio, we are still waiting to see the paediatrician. We paid for her eye therapy (divergence insufficiency) and for Dyslexia assessment but every else has been through the NHS. If i was you I'd look for a copy of Toe by Toe on ebay and work through it with her, although to be honest her school should do this. I would also see if her school have a reading intervention scheme. To be honest your daughters school sounds awful and i wonder if they are using her pupil premium as they should be!

My school has £300 per PP child (Free school meals category students) for trips: ask them to give you a breakdown of how much she is allocated.

I am amazed. School or council or some kind of authority should be able to provide your daughter with appropriate school that actually suits her. Not sure how this works but in my country your child would likely be at a special school where she would be able to use some kind of books with big letters to make the reading easier and perhaps other aids I cant even imagine they exist. Obviously not all roses here but this is shocking, bless her. Dont drop her activities, school should be clever enough to know she needs them.
Could you consider homeschooling of some sorts? Iknow you need to work to earn money but perhaps if you look into it it could make some sense?