School don’t get it when I say I can’t

[NeverEndingFight]

DD is on PP due to my low income.

I’m a single parent.

I do work part time but have no childcare so literally work 4.5 hours a day. There’s no school wrap around and the childminders and external wrap arounds that go to DDs school are full with closed waiting lists.

DD is 7 nearly 8. Is suspected dyslexic and suspected dyspraxia/dcd. She also has hypermobility and vision and hearing issues – she can hear but struggles with subtle differences. I get that she’s complex.

She’s generally well managed at school, behaves well and has friends. She’s working at around Reception level in Literacy and Year 1 level in Maths. She can only read 3 letter words, can’t blend, can’t spell, struggles to hear the difference between sounds due to her hearing, and due to her vision issues struggles to see the differences between letters. She can write but her arm tires quickly and due to spelling ability most of her writing is nonscense.

In the assessment reports we’ve had so far they recommend some apps for DD, I keep being told by school I have to buy them. I can’t afford them; some of them are subscriptions costing £5/month there’s 4 of them and 3 of them want the subscription, the other is a one off cost of £60.

I’m told I should stop DDs out of school activities if it’s a problem as these apps are needed – there’s no guarantee they will work and I only let DD go onto her tablet for a few hours on my weekends, her dad doesn’t let her on at all – they’re apps like Nessy and Reading Eggs but more geared to dyslexia.

Her activities are the love of her life, she doesn’t really enjoy school so she lives for activity nights, and I do think they help her overall. She has gained confidence, and learnt her own abilities. She’s also made friends outside of the classroom.

School then say I should ask her dad for help as he sees her regularly, EOWend only and he doesn’t pay maintenance, if I ask him for money he tells me I’ve got more than him and see her more so it’s my job to pay for things – the CMS can’t find an income for him.

I get told without these apps she will fall further behind, I’m told to work more hours, I asked for them to guarantee her a spot at the wrap around at one of the two external companies so I can work more and got told that’s not their job or up to them.

I asked if school had these apps that DD could try to see if they’ll be suitable but I’m told school can’t afford them either and it’s the parents job to help her progress. School keep saying “If she can crack this we’ll have her reading”

I’m terrified for her future as I know she will struggle for the rest of her primary years. We’ve been rejected for an EHCNA so taking the council to tribunal over that, school are saying we won’t get any more assessments as she’s “Not badly behaved enough”. She behaves in class, but then lets it all out at home, gets very upset over every little thing.

I despair and don’t know what to do. This is the second primary school she’s been to and her last one said the same “She’s not badly behaved enough for an EHCP or 1-1”. I don’t want to move her again as she hates this school slightly less than her previous one.

Just ranting really. I’m sick of fighting. This has come after yet another email last night (that I've only just read) from her teacher saying she needs these apps. I think they think I can't be bothered or expect school to do everything - I read with her daily, I battle her to do homework, I always go to parent workshops, I go to parents evening, I do every medical appointment alone.

Teach your monster to read is often free to download in the school holidays

Worth keeping an eye on it in the App Store

I expect you've already tried this but I was wondering if the British Dyslexia Association might be able to help you, either by recommending free apps or to assist with getting the school to do more.

Other possible sources of help - email your local councillors, they might not be able to do much but worth a try. Also contact governors to ask about access to Pupil Premium money.

@BoredZelda

Don't get me started on DLA i've given up applying for it because despite having help with the forms from CAB and the local carers centre I keep being told she's not bad enough to need it as she can walk, sleeps alone, doesn't need checks in the night and has "normal childhood issues with vision and hearing”

Something isn’t adding up as my daughter gets middle rate for care and none of those are a problem for her either.

@BoredZelda I haven't applied for a few years, she was lower primary last time I went for it so now she's older it might be worth going for it again, I just haven't got the energy at the moment - I know that's what they want though. The extra money would be helpful.

The school has no right to tell you how manage your money and order you to parent in a way they want you to- like cancelling your daughter’s activities. Don’t cancel them, she enjoys them and every child should have some downtime and it gives her a much needed boost.

www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/services/helpline
Sorry forgot the link.

@BirdsBirdsBird

www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/services/helpline Sorry forgot the link.

@BirdsBirdsBird Thank you will look into them

Contact IPSEA for advice on EHCP www.ipsea.org.uk/

This is so ridiculous I don’t know where to begin. If she hasn’t ‘cracked’ reading by being taught at school then an app is not going to teach her. Plus if she has difficulty hearing the difference between phonemes in real life then she will struggle even more to hear them on an app.
What are the nature of her hearing difficulties and what are the school doing to support her? Does she have a HI advisory teacher?
You can apply for an EHCP yourself, it doesn’t have to come from the school.

You can ask to self manage your dd's PP funding - I wouldn't recommend it, it's a nightmare, BUT, tell school you are aware you can do tjis and if the apps are essential then either they fundcthen for you or you want to self manage the bidget to then byy them. That will likely move thibgs along.

Why can't they use PP to pay for them? If I've been asked to use apps for DS then the school has paid.

Who has diagnosed the hearing and visual problems and what are they doing about them? This sounds crucial!

@Elisheva

This is so ridiculous I don’t know where to begin. If she hasn’t ‘cracked’ reading by being taught at school then an app is not going to teach her. Plus if she has difficulty hearing the difference between phonemes in real life then she will struggle even more to hear them on an app. What are the nature of her hearing difficulties and what are the school doing to support her? Does she have a HI advisory teacher? You can apply for an EHCP yourself, it doesn’t have to come from the school.

@Elisheva She can hear and has a normal level of hearing in a quiet room, but if there's two or more sounds her brain due to either the dyslexia or just how it works focuses on the most interesting sound to her, so in her classroom if she's sat by the window and the windows open she will only hear the bird chirping outside and not the teacher, she won't even know the teachers talking.

She also can't hear very quiet or very loud sounds.

Mr Thorne does Phonics is free on YouTube

@Mumzoo5070

Who has diagnosed the hearing and visual problems and what are they doing about them? This sounds crucial!

@Mumzoo5070 Audiology and ENT for the hearing, and an eye consultant (can't remember her actual long name I know it begins with O) for her eyes. She wears glasses but she still struggles as she's had to have her prescription reduced as she kept getting headaches and refusing to wear them so they reduced the prescription.

Op what strategies and interventions do they curently have in place?

What are they spending the PP on?

I would speak to the head and explain what you have said on here . If you get no resolution from them then ask for the schools complaints policy and follow that.
I’m a teacher and their lack of support for your daughter is appalling

@Whinge

Op what strategies and interventions do they curently have in place?

What are they spending the PP on?

@Whinge I've never had to pay for a school trip so I assume that's what the PP is spent on.

Most strategies are in class by the teacher things like where she sits in class. She also has a scribe both adult and child scribes during lessons where it's less of a problem if it's her writing or not. They tried pencil grips but she hated them.

She does so small group work outside of class and has 1-1 reading sessions twice a week.

Honestly I would be looking at getting an EHCP for her. They aren’t dependent on behaviour at all despite what the other school told you. If she is two years behind in both literacy and maths then there should be evidence of this (if the school have done their job) and you can look into applying for one. It’s a lot of work and can take ages but will mean she has more support going forward in school. Sorry if you haven’t already been told all of this. It’s rubbish that parents have to fight so hard but with funding as it is it happens.
As previous have said if she is PP I’d ask where that funding is going too and why that can’t be used to buy some of the apps/a tablet for her as that is what it is there for - to help close any ‘gaps’ she may have.
Have a look at the school’s SEN policy - are they following their own procedures? Make sure you keep records of what they say she needs and how far behind she is etc in case you want to go down the ehcp route. Meetings, emails, conversations, reports etc.
Do you have formal diagnosis for her? That can help too although I know dyslexia won’t be diagnosed until she’s 8. Sorry you’re going through this and no, you are not being unreasonable.

I’m sorry you are having such a rough time, it seems as though the school are really letting you and your daughter down. My son has severe dyslexia - the school paid for an educational psychologist to come in and assess him, which is where the diagnosis was made. The school bought Nessy and other programmes for him to use (which have been hugely beneficial) and we were given the log ins - so he can use the apps at home.

You definitely shouldn’t stop her after school clubs as they will be so beneficial to her confidence, when school is such a struggle. My son does an out of school activity which he excels at and that has supported his confidence when he has felt ‘not good enough’ at school.

My son has an EHCP despite being well behaved at school, so you need further advice on that as well.
I would suggested possibly contacting some different associations for support and advice … failing that I would consider moving her to a school where she will be better supported, with the right help and interventions you will be surprised at the difference it can make to her learning.

Ridiculous, absolutely do not buy the apps. She may not even like them.

A quick google shows DOZENS of free apps that support children with dyslexia. You do not have to follow the school's recommendation (which is most likely taken from a blanket suggestion of outdated tech). See if she gets on with any of the following first -www.readingrockets.org/literacyapps/dyslexia-and-learning-disabilities

Beyond that she's SEVEN. She has another decade of education yet, not getting apps is not going to be the be-all and end-all of her literacy. Keep her in the after school clubs ABSOLUTELY. She will have a lifetime of being surrounded by negative language and environments - told she's not 'good' at things in an educational setting, she's 'behind', she's 'struggling', 'she's on XYZ books, but Jack is on ZYX books'.

It's so, so important to ensure children with additional needs (both developmental and learning) that there is a world beyond their limitations and difficulties. At seven, that is dance or gymnastics, rainbows etc. She is an equal to her piers and it doesn't matter she struggles in school.

Withdrawing her from those activities to sit at a kitchen table on an app is just a continuation of her day at school where she's different. Withdrawing her from her clubs is ABHORRENT advice and I would look at making a formal complaint.

You know what is best for your daughter. Your gut is absolutely right on this one... follow it.

It sounds like a review by occupational therapy may help - ask school to refer. The hearing and sight issues could be auditory and visual processing, which OT can sometimes help with. School should have a learning plan that centres around what they are doing in school to close the gap of her attainment vs expected levels. ask them what OFSTED would say about them requiring PP parent to fund essential elements of her education!

I've never had to pay for a school trip so I assume that's what the PP is spent on.

She's in year 3, having missed a lot of school due to lockdowns. How many trips has she actually been on?

She does so small group work outside of class and has 1-1 reading sessions twice a week

Who is this with?

@CAnary0

Honestly I would be looking at getting an EHCP for her. They aren’t dependent on behaviour at all despite what the other school told you. If she is two years behind in both literacy and maths then there should be evidence of this (if the school have done their job) and you can look into applying for one. It’s a lot of work and can take ages but will mean she has more support going forward in school. Sorry if you haven’t already been told all of this. It’s rubbish that parents have to fight so hard but with funding as it is it happens. As previous have said if she is PP I’d ask where that funding is going too and why that can’t be used to buy some of the apps/a tablet for her as that is what it is there for - to help close any ‘gaps’ she may have. Have a look at the school’s SEN policy - are they following their own procedures? Make sure you keep records of what they say she needs and how far behind she is etc in case you want to go down the ehcp route. Meetings, emails, conversations, reports etc. Do you have formal diagnosis for her? That can help too although I know dyslexia won’t be diagnosed until she’s 8. Sorry you’re going through this and no, you are not being unreasonable.

@CAnary0 I'm fighting the council to get them to assess her, I'm having to take them to tribunal.

Have the school put it in writing that they cannot afford these apps or other support for her? If so, make sure you file it with the tribunal in support of your appeal: it's very strong evidence in your favour.

What you have to prove to show that she needs an EHC NA is simply that she may have SEN and may need support through an EHC Plan. It sounds like you have more than enough evidence for the first part. One of the main criteria for showing that she may need an EHCP is whether her needs can be met through normal school resources. If the school is saying that she needs these apps but they can't get them for her, then they are saying she needs something that is not available through their resources. Job done.

The school should be funding this from the 6k a year sen funding and if they are already spending that much that's the evidence that an ehcp is needed.