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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be gloating ever so slightly?

145 replies

GloatyMcGloaty · 26/03/2022 11:59

I know I shouldn't but I saw an ex the other day (a photo on a mutual friend's fb) and he looked awful, grey hair, old, really over weight, just quite frankly, awful!! I know it sounds mean but I couldn't help but feel a tad gloaty!

Surely I'm not the only one who has felt this when seeing an ex?

OP posts:
Mindtheears · 26/03/2022 19:20

We get it, looking older = looking bad. Message couldn’t be clearer.

HappyMiddleChild · 26/03/2022 20:13

Blimey @GloatyMcGloaty bet you weren’t expecting this reaction! You saw a picture by chance and did nothing more than think your ex looked rough and asked whether anyone else had done the same. Who’d have thought there were so many experts in psychology that could determine so much from your brief post. Sorry you’re getting so much shit Flowers

GloatyMcGloaty · 26/03/2022 20:40

Thank you @HappyMiddleChild

OP posts:
sophienelisse · 26/03/2022 20:51

There was this lad at our junior school in the year above my friends and I.

He looked just like Johnny from cobra Kai. EVERYONE fancied him through your teenage years.

I saw him in the pub a few years ago and I wouldn't of recognised him.

It comes to us all eventually.

GloatyMcGloaty · 26/03/2022 20:56

Yes it all comes to us!

I'll probably look like shit soon enough, probably do now..... just not as bad as my ex 🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 26/03/2022 21:05

Most people gain a few extra pound when they get older, so it's not a problem.

However, my ex told me that the reason he cheated was because I had 'let myself go', and should try and be more 'trim' ( I was 5'3, 9.5 stone - BMI 23.5, and a gym member at the time ! )

He ended up with OW.

So to see him now looking bloated and podgy with fingers like sausages (can't get his wedding ring on) gives me a wry smile.

He wouldn't wear a wedding ring when he married me but wore one for her - now it doesn't fit.

Ah, the joys of schadenfreude ...... Grin

PutinsMicropenis · 26/03/2022 21:09

I think it's absolutely human nature to gloat especially when somebody has, in the past, made you feel awful, stupid, ugly, or whatever. I remember seeing my old boss in Tesco once, to say that she had made my life a complete misery was a total understatement, what a hideous, conniving, lying cow she was. It was a sunny day and I was with my husband generally having a nice time and feeling great within the world having moved on from that awful job into a new career that I was enjoying. Old boss kept appearing really close to me e.g next to the bread then next to the eggs, as if she wanted me to notice her and say hi - I blatantly ignored her and am not ashamed to say that I gloated having seen she had put on weight and I'd also heard she was having marriage issues, it was no less than she deserved, I wasn't the only member of staff whose life she had made miserable!

WickedStepmomNOT · 27/03/2022 00:50

At 21, my first proper boyfriend, of three years, dumped me because I said I didn't want children, called me an unnatural woman and stood me up as my wedding plus one. Didn't tell me he wasn't turning up, it just got later and later with no sign of him, not answering the phone, and by the time I twigged he wasn't coming, I'd missed my best friend's wedding.

Years later after moving to the States I returned on holiday and bumped into him. He looked about the same, slightly thinning hair, same loud clothing and flashy car. I was the one who had changed and I was looking pretty good at the time as all my friends kept telling me, decent weight (finally), nice outfit, hair behaving itself, good job with lots of overseas travelling, satisfactory amount of disposable income. He asked me for a drink, I went out of curiosity and discovered he'd been divorced twice and had five children.

He had the cheek to tell me he liked being a weekend dad! Said it was too disrupting living with children, cramped his style. When I asked him about school holidays, he said when the kids were teenagers he'd take them away but for now hols were spent with their mums. Of course, he was quite surprised when I pointed out this was what he would have done to me, that he'd dumped me for not wanting children age 21, but had then dumped two women for having his children!

Oh the irony! Yes I did gloat inwardly about how lucky I'd been - it was worth all the upset and embarassment at the time not to have continued with that relationship.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 27/03/2022 02:05

Omg the replies on this thread! Grin

Totally natural response @GloatyMcGloaty.

Bhagal · 30/03/2022 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bookworm20 · 30/03/2022 13:20

Not an ex, but a girl from college. Didn't bully me as such but she was not very nice. Thought alot of herself, all the boys fancied her. She used to tease me about my spots (I had quite bad skin as a teenager). She had annoying perfect skin and hair and I used to think she was pretty (but not a nice person).

Saw her about a year ago. And yes, I walked away with a smug little grin. She looked bloody awful! And it was even better because I'd just had my hair done and felt a million dollars.
Karma, sweetheart. Not laughing at my skin now are you!

ImAvingOops · 30/03/2022 13:22

Can a person commit blasphemy if they don't believe that god is real?

Bookworm20 · 30/03/2022 13:25

Also, the other uncultured PP that said Karma is a bitch, that is blasmepous. Please stick to degrading your own culture and leave mine out of it.

What's blasmepous.?

Bhagal · 30/03/2022 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bhagal · 30/03/2022 13:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bhagal · 30/03/2022 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bookworm20 · 30/03/2022 13:46

@Bhagal

I do hope you are quite alright.

You realise this thread is light hearted? We're not gloating that god looks like a pile of shite. I expect he/she/it has aged pretty damn good.

Its about people who wronged us in some way, now looking like crap. its pleasing. Very superficial, but pleasing.
I expect we're all going to hell for the internal gloating, but hey, karma.

You use it how you want, and I'll use it how I want.

Bhagal · 30/03/2022 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tortabella · 30/03/2022 15:55

@WomanStanleyWoman

Enjoying the sight of exes, old school bullies, bitchy former colleagues etc. looking like a sack of shit is one of life’s great pleasures. Ignore the op-faced ‘It’s not very nice’ comments.
I had a horrible ex. He was recently seen in a women's clothing store with family, looking bored and sporting a man bun.

Made my day.

incognitoforthisone · 30/03/2022 16:48

LOL at all these people who have never had a negative thought about someone they don't like and whose thoughts towards ex partners who have wronged them are all serenity and sunbeams Hmm

OP, it's totally normal and fine to gloat in this situation. If someone treated you like shit, extract every scrap of schadenfreude you can out of their situation, I say. You're not hurting anyone by having a little gloat.

There was a girl at my school who bullied one of my closest friends so badly that my friend was close to suicide. Saw her on Facebook once and she now looks about 20 years older than the rest of us and has a face like a bag of spanners on crystal meth. My friend and I had a cracking good gloat over that, I can tell you.,

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