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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is DH BIU- to talk with DSIL about planned baby name

677 replies

fringely · 26/03/2022 10:40

DSIL is 34 weeks pregnant with first DC.
A few weeks ago her and her DP announced the planned baby name.
The actual 'sound' of the name is fine, but it is heavily associated with something which DSIL and her DP were not really aware of. They have been made aware of the association since (as it's pretty common knowledge- not sure how they hadn't heard of it tbh!) but are of the opinion most people won't make the association. DH and I are of the other opinion that most people will definitely make the association, it's not a good association, and genuinely worry that it's not fair to give a baby that name and it's fully possible it could lead to bullying when older.

Whilst DP and strongly agree on the huge issue with the name and agree it's unfair to lumbar a baby with it, I don't think DH should say anything. DH thinks he should have a proper talk with her about his concerns on the name and why he doesn't think it's fair to give to a DN. I think nothing good will come and we should stay quiet.

(So far we have said very little about it. We were notably shocked when told what it was, and clarified 'X' as in X'?? But other than that have nodded and smiled).

OP posts:
TempName01 · 26/03/2022 12:21

Ursula?

godmum56 · 26/03/2022 12:21

If the registrar has concerns, it has to go to court to be prevented. In terms of the name itself, the UK's rules on baby names are among the most liberal in the world. According to the General Register Office, there are no restrictions on parents in the UK when naming their child - except for in exceptional cases, such as a name which could be deemed offensive, when an official could refuse to register it.
But that does not mean anything can be allowed. In 2016, a mother in Powys was banned from naming her baby daughter Cyanide - a type of poison which Adolf Hitler took before shooting himself.
In that case, Lady Justice King said the courts would intervene to prevent a parent naming a child "in only the most extreme cases".

and of course parents can choose any everyday use name that they like.

Treebranches · 26/03/2022 12:21

@fringely

The name has been on the thread
Is it closer to Fred or Voldemort? 😂
harrystylestaylorswift · 26/03/2022 12:21

@DaffTheDoggo

I'm guessing something like Medea or Jocasta.

If it's Delilah then I think that's fine and I'd be more concerned about people singing Tom Jones than the biblical story. Jezebel probably less good.

Off topic but Delilah is one of my top baby names for when I have kids (hopefully won't have to be used for a while yet!)
Eggshausted · 26/03/2022 12:22

He has mentioned it. Time to mind your own business.

godmum56 · 26/03/2022 12:22

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles

Look, it's your DH who wants to give his unasked for opinion to his sister - repeatedly. You don't agree. Fine. It's his sister, just step back and let him get on with it if he wants to.

He's getting involved in a situation and risking an argument with them unnecessarily - but you also want to get involved with your DH over the situation which is also risking an argument with him unnecessarily.

Everyone just needs to shut the fuck up basically and let people make their own decisions and leave them in fucking peace.

Sorted Grin

that's what i said pretty much
Bryterlayter1 · 26/03/2022 12:22

I'm guessing Enoch.

NippyWoowoo · 26/03/2022 12:22

@FrydayFish

Please say it's not Boris!
Oooh this is a good one
lennybruceisnotafraid · 26/03/2022 12:23

@fringely

The name has been on the thread
Is it a biblical one?

If it's one associated with the devil then that's terrible.

Whinge · 26/03/2022 12:24

@Beees

I'm guessing it really isn't as bad as the OP is claiming it to be if neither one of them had heard of the apparently unspeakably terrible name sake.

The child will become their name and it probably won't raise any eyebrows when they are in a class with peers called Fox, Atlas, Pixie, Princess and Blue.

I agree. It probably isn't as bad as the OP thinks. Yes perhaps there's a negtive association with the name, but that's the case for many names. You could find something to put you off even the nicest of names if you tried hard enough.

Perhaps some people will make the connection or comment on the name, but once the baby is born the people who know the child will just associate it with them.

Thoosa · 26/03/2022 12:25

So hard to say without knowing the name.

If it’s something like Claudia, then the name is a strong as the medical term and it doesn’t matter.

OTOH of its Chlamydia, then the medical meaning o erejelms any name potential by miles.

ultraviolet4753 · 26/03/2022 12:25

OK, out of left field:
Covid, Corona, Ebola, Malaria, Rubella, etc?

Someone said they called their dog Covid because they got it in lockdown. Confused.

DaffTheDoggo · 26/03/2022 12:25

26 Cains born in 2020. Not too bad and I don't think it will cause any issues these days.

Disappointed that there isn't going to be a baby Goliath though.

ddl1 · 26/03/2022 12:26

Osama?

Hannibal (as in Lecter?

AmyDudley · 26/03/2022 12:26

I'm a bit conflicted, obviously ultimately it is none of your business, and you have mentioned it. But I'm sort of with your husband - that child has to live with the name for the rest of their life (until they are old enough to change it which they almost certainly will if it is that bad) and as a small child will have to deal with people 'reacting' to their name and having no idea why which will be confusing for them and really quite horrible actually for a child to have to deal with every time they say their name. Always having people do a double take, or people look round if they are being called for an appointment or whatever.
When the child gets older they are going to say to their parents 'what on earth were you thinking?
I can't actually think of a name that would do that apart from 'Adolf' but if as you say googling just the first name brings up pages about a terrible person, then I think your DH should direct his sister to google so at least she gets more of a clue.
I don't know - there's minding your own business and there's saving a kid from a lifetime of embarrassment. - I think I'm in the 'save the kid' camp.

dancemom · 26/03/2022 12:26

Lolita. An adult association but a negative association all the same.

What can you do though, it's their choice.

toomuchlaundry · 26/03/2022 12:27

I don’t think Cain would raise as many eyebrows as Adolph would.

Peaseblossum22 · 26/03/2022 12:28

My guess is Lucifer , there have been a few threads about this recently . It wouldn’t be my choice but might become normalised now.

Thursa · 26/03/2022 12:29

I’m guessing Damien, and on hearing it my first thought would be The Omen.

TempName01 · 26/03/2022 12:29

Saville?

Earlydancing · 26/03/2022 12:31

It's his sister, he's entitled to speak to her about it. That's what sibling relationships are about and his sister will be able to tell him bluntly to butt out. Obviously the op shouldn't get involved.

It's highly unlikely that most names will stick in people's mind for long. I bet most people don't even know Putin's furst name. And even Isis is beginning to fade away.

YvanEhtNiojYvanEhtNioj · 26/03/2022 12:32

This might sound harsh, but are they a bit stupid? Perhaps they need reminded one more time that there about the infamous namesake.

LBFseBrom · 26/03/2022 12:34

I've found a list of 50 'sinister' names for a boy:
momlovesbest.com/evil-and-demon-baby-names#q0

'Damien' is quite a nice name with associations to a film but I imagine your and your husband's misgivings are not as flimsy as that.

You say the name has been mentioned on 'the thread'; which thread.

Thanks :-).

FastnetLundyRockall · 26/03/2022 12:34

Hannibal?
Slobodan?

TempName01 · 26/03/2022 12:36

@LBFseBrom

I've found a list of 50 'sinister' names for a boy: momlovesbest.com/evil-and-demon-baby-names#q0

'Damien' is quite a nice name with associations to a film but I imagine your and your husband's misgivings are not as flimsy as that.

You say the name has been mentioned on 'the thread'; which thread.

Thanks :-).

Most on that list no one will have heard of though, especially kids