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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is DH BIU- to talk with DSIL about planned baby name

677 replies

fringely · 26/03/2022 10:40

DSIL is 34 weeks pregnant with first DC.
A few weeks ago her and her DP announced the planned baby name.
The actual 'sound' of the name is fine, but it is heavily associated with something which DSIL and her DP were not really aware of. They have been made aware of the association since (as it's pretty common knowledge- not sure how they hadn't heard of it tbh!) but are of the opinion most people won't make the association. DH and I are of the other opinion that most people will definitely make the association, it's not a good association, and genuinely worry that it's not fair to give a baby that name and it's fully possible it could lead to bullying when older.

Whilst DP and strongly agree on the huge issue with the name and agree it's unfair to lumbar a baby with it, I don't think DH should say anything. DH thinks he should have a proper talk with her about his concerns on the name and why he doesn't think it's fair to give to a DN. I think nothing good will come and we should stay quiet.

(So far we have said very little about it. We were notably shocked when told what it was, and clarified 'X' as in X'?? But other than that have nodded and smiled).

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 26/03/2022 22:29

Genghis isn't so bad, compared with some on the list. It's a big name to grow into though.

IVFConfusion · 26/03/2022 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ellmau · 26/03/2022 23:00

@godmum56

well its not especially musical but what is wrong with Genghis? When I google, I find political leader, national hero and founder of a nation.
Killer of millions?

www.history.com/news/10-things-you-may-not-know-about-genghis-khan

But not as bad as Satan, anyway.

godmum56 · 26/03/2022 23:07

@Ellmau

"
"Killer of millions?

www.history.com/news/10-things-you-may-not-know-about-genghis-khan

But not as bad as Satan, anyway."

once again you have to judge by the politics and behaviour of the time.....those 10 things are actually interesting.
Did you know that Genghis Khan is not actually his name but his title? His name was Temujin. Genghis Khan means Mighty Ruler, so its more like callking a child "king" or "emperor"

MurderAtTheBeautyPageant · 26/03/2022 23:09

Apparently 1 in 300 of us, or something like that, are descended from Genghis Khan so if questioned they can just say 'old family name'.

saraclara · 26/03/2022 23:41

I've met people called Genghis (or the unanglicised version, which is Chingis). Not in this country though.

As is guessed it was Lucifer, I'm kind of relieved that it's Genghis!

LBFseBrom · 26/03/2022 23:41

I think it's Vlad, not for Putin but for Vlad the Impaler.

AhhhHereItGoes · 26/03/2022 23:42

Thinking Rasputin...

Slartibartfastt · 26/03/2022 23:49

Where did they hear the name Genghis?

EthelTheAardvark · 27/03/2022 00:10

@godmum56

well its not especially musical but what is wrong with Genghis? When I google, I find political leader, national hero and founder of a nation.
Didn't your googling take you to the bit where he was responsible for the deaths of a minimum of four million civilians?
EthelTheAardvark · 27/03/2022 00:12

once again you have to judge by the politics and behaviour of the time

Even at the time the level of slaughter Genghis Khan was responsible for was totally unprecedented. Quote:

"Many medieval chroniclers and modern historians describe Genghis Khan's conquests as wholesale destruction on an unprecedented scale, causing great demographic changes and a drastic decline of population as a result of mass exterminations and famine. A conservative estimate amounts to about four million civilians (whereas other figures range from forty to sixty million) who died as a consequence of Genghis Khan's military campaign"

DixonD · 27/03/2022 00:13

@Hepzibar

They actually think Genghis is nice?
This. It’s a dreadful name even with the bad connection.
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/03/2022 02:12

Sorry, only just back to this thread - yes, I did a search on Genghis and it only came up the once but I think I might have taken @Sux2buthen's spelling as the correct one at the time (H was in the wrong place), which is why I missed @Maireas's suggestion!
And now I see the OP has confirmed it, so well done for getting it!

I used to be good at spelling, but the menopause is doing my head in with that as well...

And Genghis is - well, yeah - not a great name. Better than Adolf, just. But not much. I wouldn't do it.

Blimecory · 27/03/2022 08:10

@trancepants

If it is Salome, which has been mentioned by two PP on the thread. It's super obscure. You'd have to be really, really into the bible, old films or swiftly cancelled Nathan Lane sitcoms from the 90s to have heard of her. Even in the Rita Hayworth film, which none of here peers will have seen, the script absolves her of all blame.
Salome is not super obscure. It resonates throughout all cultural history, through art, literature, etc. You’d have to be super ignorant not to have heard of her.
stuntbubbles · 27/03/2022 08:22

Oh, Genghis is fine! Ugly as a name, but the infamous namesake is long enough ago that it doesn’t matter. I think you just have to let them get on with it.

EinsteinaGogo · 27/03/2022 08:36

Genghis is a terrible name to saddle someone with.

You're not wrong, OP.

There are so many names to choose from. What on Earth has driven them to plump for one of the most well known murderers of all time?

Let's hope they're winding you up.

Blimecory · 27/03/2022 08:57

@stuntbubbles

Oh, Genghis is fine! Ugly as a name, but the infamous namesake is long enough ago that it doesn’t matter. I think you just have to let them get on with it.
Of course it matters. It’s another name, even though it’s a title, that resonates throughout world history. It’s only associated with one person.
LittleBearPad · 27/03/2022 09:00

It’s a bold choice!

LabelMaker · 27/03/2022 09:05

Oh god. Poor baby.

bellac11 · 27/03/2022 09:10

His name was Temujin which is quite nice in its way, but I wonder are they white British? What if little Temujin/Ghengis grows up to be golden haired, very pale, slight of build and shy.

He wont quite fit his name.

HardyBuckette · 27/03/2022 09:12

@IVFConfusion

22:16Okki

If Germans choose to take out symbol and ruin it's meaning that is not enough for us to stop using the name.

You being offended is your closed mind.

Swastika is like saying to European's they can't use the word Bible or Christ.

It's a very powerful symbol and word (that's why Hitler flipped it and used it) - it's more powerful and meaningful than your sentiments.

How would you like it if you couldn't use the name Jesus because some clown decided to tell another part of the world it meant something bad?!

Whether I/you as a parent would be upset about not being able to do it and whether it's a terrible idea to saddle a child with a name that has such awful connotations in the culture where they'll be brought up are two very separate issues, however.

It's all very well saying people who'd be offended have closed minds, and perhaps that's true. Regardless, because that level of offence will exist, choosing a name like Swastika in Europe is saddling your child with some considerable downsides. Different in India of course, or if you as an adult in the UK wanted to change your own name to Swastika and accept any negatives that might flow from that for yourself.

phoenixrosehere · 27/03/2022 09:21

I’m curious how many people would actually recognise the name and if they did who he was. I can see why they didn’t get it because many people are appalling at history (enough that we as a society repeat it).

I would just leave it and let them get on with it because they could easily change their mind regardless. Even if they did name their child that, they could change his name later, he would have a nickname, or the child will change their name anyway. You’ve already said what you said, no need to say it again. They may buckle down on it even further. Your DH needs to drop it and frankly mind his own business.

unchienandalucia · 27/03/2022 09:28

Dreadful name. Ugly as hell and horrible connection. I'd back your DH on this one.

DaffTheDoggo · 27/03/2022 09:32

I’m curious how many people would actually recognise the name and if they did who he was

Surely almost everybody would. He's hardly obscure.

It's a terrible name. I think OP's DH should say something, just once, and then leave it.

Iwonder08 · 27/03/2022 09:33

Genghis is a strange choice for someone without Mongolian heritage, however I wouldn't think of any morbid connections straight away. After all it is a fairly common and popular name in that region nowadays