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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think something is 'off' with neighbours

200 replies

dancingmonkey · 25/03/2022 17:31

So about a year ago we had a lady and her young baby move in opposite us.
At first she it's appeared she was single but after a few months I noticed a guy around a lot and seemed to be living there. I can't put my finger on it but they were an odd match and I once saw him leave the house, go to the car- he seemed to put something or collect something from under the wheel arch?! And then walk past the house and into the park..Anyway that might be totally irrelevant just weird. After a few months this guy moves out and within days they was another guy there who had seem to have moved in. This guy was very muscular and 'hard' looking! Didn't notice anything particularly weird about him but just how he literally turned up days after this over guy and was now moved in. Fast forward a few more months, and it's happened again! Within a matter of days one meat head guy has left and another moved in!
I forgot to add actually while second guy was living there a police officer did turn up to the house and was peering through the living room window. They were definitely in and seemed to be hiding?

So now this other guy is in. When guy number 2 was there the women got a new car and now he's gone a new car has arrived. She and new man are driving this car.
I can't work out what the hell is going on, or is it actually nothing? Bf thinks witness protection but im not sure really what that involves. House is council if relevant.

Any ideas?

OP posts:
PersephonePomegranate · 26/03/2022 10:35

The sanctimony on this forum kills me. Do people really never notice if something strange is happening around them?

The OP hasn't said anything that suggests she's a curtain twitcher or that she spends all her time watching her neighbours, she's merely noted some unusual goings on.

As for those who are reacting as though noticing anything is a flaw in morality, what are neighbourhood watch groups for? Or police appeals for witnesses of an incident or sightings of people, vehicles etc? Human beings notice things.

KloppsTeeth · 26/03/2022 11:28

Well said @PersephonePomegranate and @toomuchlaundry

bossybloss · 26/03/2022 11:53

@PersephonePomegranate

The sanctimony on this forum kills me. Do people really never notice if something strange is happening around them?

The OP hasn't said anything that suggests she's a curtain twitcher or that she spends all her time watching her neighbours, she's merely noted some unusual goings on.

As for those who are reacting as though noticing anything is a flaw in morality, what are neighbourhood watch groups for? Or police appeals for witnesses of an incident or sightings of people, vehicles etc? Human beings notice things.

This
WomanStanleyWoman · 26/03/2022 12:38

@PersephonePomegranate

The sanctimony on this forum kills me. Do people really never notice if something strange is happening around them?

The OP hasn't said anything that suggests she's a curtain twitcher or that she spends all her time watching her neighbours, she's merely noted some unusual goings on.

As for those who are reacting as though noticing anything is a flaw in morality, what are neighbourhood watch groups for? Or police appeals for witnesses of an incident or sightings of people, vehicles etc? Human beings notice things.

So now it’s ‘sanctimonious’ not to spy on your neighbours and then dissect what you see on an Internet forum? I’ve heard it all now.

You can tell a mile off who the nosey, interfering nightmares on this thread are - and they’re all trying to justify their behaviour as just happening to notice or ‘safeguarding’. Literally all the OP has seen is some similar-looking men going into a house. I don’t think it takes much to work out what kind of judgement she’s making.

Thank God I don’t live near any of you.

PneppieGliswer · 26/03/2022 16:11

You can tell a mile off who the nosey, interfering nightmares on this thread are - and they’re all trying to justify their behaviour as just happening to notice or ‘safeguarding’.

Nosey neighbour here. I like to gossip with my husband about the neighbours on occasion as jokey banter via text that we have. We are totally jealous of most of them so take the piss out of their (apparently) nice lives. It’s a welcome comic relief from the tragedy of our own lives.

Cambridge dictionary:
Curtain-twitcher: someone who is very interested in what their neighbours (= people who live near them) are doing and tries to find out by looking out of the window without being seen.

I don’t qualify for this as I couldn’t give a flying fuck if they see me looking out the window while working from home 12 hours a day.

@dancingmonkey Why do you think the men are “meat heads”? (Assuming Google is correct and this means stupid - never heard this phrase before)

Original poster
dancingmonkey · 26/03/2022 17:48

@PneppieGliswer

You can tell a mile off who the nosey, interfering nightmares on this thread are - and they’re all trying to justify their behaviour as just happening to notice or ‘safeguarding’.

Nosey neighbour here. I like to gossip with my husband about the neighbours on occasion as jokey banter via text that we have. We are totally jealous of most of them so take the piss out of their (apparently) nice lives. It’s a welcome comic relief from the tragedy of our own lives.

Cambridge dictionary:
Curtain-twitcher: someone who is very interested in what their neighbours (= people who live near them) are doing and tries to find out by looking out of the window without being seen.

I don’t qualify for this as I couldn’t give a flying fuck if they see me looking out the window while working from home 12 hours a day.

@dancingmonkey Why do you think the men are “meat heads”? (Assuming Google is correct and this means stupid - never heard this phrase before)

Body builder physique. Very broad shoulder, massive arms, wide neck. Perhaps not very PC but just a work me and friends would use to describe someone that looked like that.
OP posts:
2bazookas · 26/03/2022 17:52

You are under surveillance by MI6.

sweatyhotlady · 26/03/2022 18:11

Definitely dodgy. Last time we noticed something weird with our neighbours (in their 70s) the police knocked and asked to install cameras. They raided the house a few weeks later

DonaPatrizia · 26/03/2022 18:34

Get a life

PersephonePomegranate · 26/03/2022 18:39

You can tell a mile off who the nosey, interfering nightmares on this thread are - and they’re all trying to justify their behaviour as just happening to notice or ‘safeguarding’.

Conversely, you call tell who the shifty MNetters are, they're so defensive about people noticing anything out of the ordinary!

Yes, that was sarcasm.

Momicrone · 26/03/2022 18:42

I'm very nosey, life is infinitely interesting.

MrsPetty · 26/03/2022 18:48

@Deidretheelf I second your comment! I wouldn’t know if my neighbours had a daily orgy!

firsttimemom99 · 26/03/2022 18:55

I mean, I started reading this post and thought you were going to mention your neighbours are a nuisance or are disturbing your life in some tremendous way... but the fact that they’re literally minding their own business and live lives you know absolutely nothing about proves you’re probably just way too nosy. Of course, it would come in handy if there was something dangerous going on, but as others have mentioned it could be witness protection and you could be jeopardising this persons privacy/safety by being so unhealthily absorbed in her life. I say, take up a hobby, and leave your curtains as they are.
Before anybody responds rudely, I completely understand being interested in others, but the line is drawn when you’re making somebody else’s business yours and asking strangers on the internet what they think.

firsttimemom99 · 26/03/2022 18:57

Yeah I’m baffled at how many people are justifying this behaviour.
I’d f**ing hate to live anywhere near these people too lol. Couldn’t fart without it being broadcast.

RavenhairedRachel · 26/03/2022 19:01

If you find out what's going on let us all know

Riapia · 26/03/2022 19:04

@WomanStanleyWoman

Have you ever considered a life of your own? It can become quite intoxicating once you get into it.
Meanwhile you are eagerly awaiting OP’s updates.
WomanStanleyWoman · 26/03/2022 19:06

Well I’ve learned from this thread that something as innocuous as not getting visits from older relatives is enough to raise suspicion. I don’t think I’ve had a visit from an older relative in ten years. If my neighbours are anything like some MNers, they’ve probably got me pegged as a drug runner, brothel keeper, human trafficker or a combination of all three.

Imagine how disappointed they’d be to find out that my dad works most Saturdays and my mom struggles with her mobility, so I just go there instead.

Pfbing · 26/03/2022 19:23

Saying in one post she is financially vulnerable because she's not working. But then in another saying you expect her to not be working as she has a young baby. Which one is it? Is maternity leave not work for you? I'm on maternity leave and I'm working my ass off as a mother and I'm also not financially vulnerable as I'm pulling a decent maternity wage. Your assumptions about her financial status are condescending

fetchacloth · 26/03/2022 19:23

I've got a similar situation near to me OP and it's quite comical seeing the various vehicles turn up😁
It's a free country though and as long as no one gets hurt, it shouldn't matter and it's no one else's business really.

restingbitchface30 · 26/03/2022 20:27

I wish I had as much time on my hands as you, no actually I really don’t

Original poster
dancingmonkey · 26/03/2022 20:33

@Pfbing

Saying in one post she is financially vulnerable because she's not working. But then in another saying you expect her to not be working as she has a young baby. Which one is it? Is maternity leave not work for you? I'm on maternity leave and I'm working my ass off as a mother and I'm also not financially vulnerable as I'm pulling a decent maternity wage. Your assumptions about her financial status are condescending
But do you have a partner at home to support your maternity pay? Going on the theory she is single and these men aren't partners, she would struggle on that pay. I also have been on maternity leave so yes I am quite aware of how hard and long the days are, it's sadly not paid work though is it
OP posts:
indie123 · 26/03/2022 20:59

Does sound weird but there could be a number of explanations from her having casual relationships, it being friends/family members/lodgers or a mixture of both. Or something illegal going on. For now though it will probably stay a mystery lol

Vanilli1978 · 26/03/2022 21:36

Echoing what others have said..could be cuckooing..worth reporting on 101

Hertsgirl10 · 26/03/2022 21:58

I think you have too much time on your hands especially to notice where someone’s putting things in their car.

Doesn’t mean she’s with all these men either, could be friends or relatives.

Blinky21 · 26/03/2022 22:55

I notice what my neighbours do and I hope they notice what I do too

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