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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think something is 'off' with neighbours

200 replies

dancingmonkey · 25/03/2022 17:31

So about a year ago we had a lady and her young baby move in opposite us.
At first she it's appeared she was single but after a few months I noticed a guy around a lot and seemed to be living there. I can't put my finger on it but they were an odd match and I once saw him leave the house, go to the car- he seemed to put something or collect something from under the wheel arch?! And then walk past the house and into the park..Anyway that might be totally irrelevant just weird. After a few months this guy moves out and within days they was another guy there who had seem to have moved in. This guy was very muscular and 'hard' looking! Didn't notice anything particularly weird about him but just how he literally turned up days after this over guy and was now moved in. Fast forward a few more months, and it's happened again! Within a matter of days one meat head guy has left and another moved in!
I forgot to add actually while second guy was living there a police officer did turn up to the house and was peering through the living room window. They were definitely in and seemed to be hiding?

So now this other guy is in. When guy number 2 was there the women got a new car and now he's gone a new car has arrived. She and new man are driving this car.
I can't work out what the hell is going on, or is it actually nothing? Bf thinks witness protection but im not sure really what that involves. House is council if relevant.

Any ideas?

OP posts:
viques · 25/03/2022 18:46

You would love my street OP, three HMO filled with men and the odd woman, more decrepit white vans than you can shake a stick at, but none of them appear to be registered to the houses as they get parking tickets daily and just dump them. Oh and sometimes the white vans drive off at three in the morning………….

Mangogogogo · 25/03/2022 18:47

I’d be concerned about cuckooing. It sounds like something that would rarely happen but it’s actually insane how much it happens! (Part of my job)

PansyParkinson57 · 25/03/2022 18:50

Witness protection?

notanothertakeaway · 25/03/2022 18:53

I'd worry the woman is being abused in some way. Cuckooeing seems likely

FabFitFifties · 25/03/2022 18:55

What is this cuckooing? Is like squatting? Or does it mean the women has no choice, and a criminal gang are using her house? Does she look a vulnerable type OP? Not that you always tell.

Overdon · 25/03/2022 18:57

My mum has a similar scenario with NDN, a pleasant young woman moved in ( no DC) and then after a couple of months all these different men would turn up. At first mum thought she was a sex worker, but then other stuff started happening.
One night Mum saw a bloke retrieving something that had been buried in the garden 🤔 Groups of men turning up in very flash Maserati cars at 5 am, and it became apparent it was always the same circle of
blokes visiting. There was never ever older family members or other females visiting.

Then one day mum saw a bloke not associated with the group checking under the cars in the drive, she thought he was CID.
In the end the NDN did a flit and the house was sold at auction.

We think the house was some drug dealer safe house.

BaconOmelette · 25/03/2022 18:57

Possible cuckooing was my first thought too.

Could be anything though really. Keep being nosey.

starfishmummy · 25/03/2022 18:58

She is a multiple bigamist. Her husbands work away from home so she has a rota for when each one is there. Simple

WomanStanleyWoman · 25/03/2022 19:02

Have you ever considered a life of your own? It can become quite intoxicating once you get into it.

Spidey66 · 25/03/2022 19:07

@FabFitFifties

What is this cuckooing? Is like squatting? Or does it mean the women has no choice, and a criminal gang are using her house? Does she look a vulnerable type OP? Not that you always tell.
Cuckooing is when the home of a vulnerable person is taken over by ‘undesirables’ eg drug dealers, gangs etc who befriend their victims then carry out their business from their home. Victims can be people with a severe mental illness eg schizophrenia, people with learning disabilities or if this is what is happening a lonely single mum who is new to the area.

I work in mental health, it’s a common reason for a safeguarding alert. It often needs intense work between (for example in this situation) social services, the police, and housing providers to help victims resolve it.

Original poster
dancingmonkey · 25/03/2022 19:07

@FabFitFifties

What is this cuckooing? Is like squatting? Or does it mean the women has no choice, and a criminal gang are using her house? Does she look a vulnerable type OP? Not that you always tell.
She doesn't 'look' vulnerable but she has a baby and doesn't appear to work so perhaps financially vulnerable
OP posts:
WonderfulYou · 25/03/2022 19:07

You seem to know a lot about what’s going on but unless you are watching 24/7 then you only know a tiny part of the real story.

My thought would be a serial dater.
I know women who literally are never single, so the same day they break up with someone they have to find someone else, they usually have them already lined up and get back with exes.

Electriq · 25/03/2022 19:11

Id guess it's a high risk witness protection, probably not want to plaster it all over the Internet.

PneppieGliswer · 25/03/2022 19:11

Jesus, that cuckooing thing is horrendous.

I’d choose to believe that she’s either polyamourous or that it’s a safe house for international espionage situation.

PneppieGliswer · 25/03/2022 19:12

We have a Z list celebrity neighbour and DH & I love updating via text all about her comings and goings.

oakleaffy · 25/03/2022 19:13

My gut feeling is Class A's {Heroin, Crack {If that is what they are termed these days}.

bossybloss · 25/03/2022 19:17

Please keep being nosey.She may need you some day, especially if cukooing is happening. ...curtain twitch all you like, if she was my daughter I would want you to.

youdoyoutoday · 25/03/2022 19:17

@PneppieGliswer ooooo I'm so intrigued!!

Mayvis · 25/03/2022 19:19

My first thought was cuckooing too. We had a very similar situation with a neighbour (young, single mum - no family or friends locally) who had had her house taken over by drug dealers.

bellac11 · 25/03/2022 19:21

A lot of people who are cuckooed dont see themselves as being vulnerable or exploited, they are exploited and groomed into thinking that these people are their friends or protectors, or are having 'fun' with these people but in reality dont have a choice.

JudgeRindersMinder · 25/03/2022 19:22

Sounds like potential cuckooing

Original poster
dancingmonkey · 25/03/2022 19:22

@bossybloss

Please keep being nosey.She may need you some day, especially if cukooing is happening. ...curtain twitch all you like, if she was my daughter I would want you to.
I will yes, I'd actually never hear of cuckooing but it has come up a lot on here. Will definitely now be looking out for signs of this.
OP posts:
JudgeRindersMinder · 25/03/2022 19:24

I posted without rtft-I’m not jumping on the bandwagon saying it, it just screams it out at me

theleafandnotthetree · 25/03/2022 19:24

@WomanStanleyWoman

Have you ever considered a life of your own? It can become quite intoxicating once you get into it.
Oh bore off, we wouldn't have lasted long as a species if we weren't interested in one another! And guess what, it's possible to hold multiple thoughts in your head at the same time, to be interested in multiple things. Just because the OP is interested in someone else doesn't mean her own life is uninteresting!
Phobiaphobic · 25/03/2022 19:24

Nosy neighbours have probably foiled many a terrorist plot.