AIBU- Can't afford to work

[MissRja]

Just trying to work out a return to work after having a baby In December ( also have a 4 year old in full time school ) unfortunately, my original plans for childcare have fell through, which now means we are looking at paid childcare. My current job have declined My flexible working request , which means I am looking for another job. Due to school pick up/ drops offs I am looking returning on reduced hours over 5 days or term time only. Have worked our I will be bringing home roughly £1200 after tax per month. Nursery fees will be £1100 for a four week month, or £1375 for a 5 week month. This does not include before / after school club fees. If I was to use my wages alone to pay childcare fees I would actually be losing money to work , especially when factoring in petrol , work clothes etc. Surely this can't be right. How in this day and age can I not afford to go to work !! Its ridiculous. The whole reason I am going back is because we can't afford to live off DP wages alone , but it doesn't seem like it will make a difference if i do go back to work. Am i missing something here ? What does everyone else do to work around this ? Would love to hear your experiences / advice !!

Read only few replies and some people can be rude wow! Wont be surprise if u dont come to check the thread any more but if you do just trust things will work out.
We have (still kinda are) in the same situation! It is tough i wont lie but doable.
Childminder is a far cheaper option. Child tax credit always something so worth to sign up. Before all my calculation was showing zero savings and living from paycheck to paycheck and i was also considering staying home with little one because why bother? But it is important for u to have a break, for ur child to have contact with others and gain that independence, for the career as it might be harder to go back after a couple or few yrs break (in my situation it would be). Dont get me wrong. Being with ur child at home has so many advantages and its probably amazing and if i really could afford i dont know what would i choose but we need some additional income, at least something extra to meet all the needs. Keep searching for a good job which will meet ur criteria, might take longer but opportunities are out there. I found a job, little step back but options for promotions at some point, literally 9 to 5 jobs where everyone knows i wont be early and wont stay even 5 minutes longer bc i need to pick up the child. Part time only. They waited 2 months for me which gave me some time to find a childminder. Husband has to use some holiday for a little bit to manage my work and childcare as she couldnt take DS for 3 days straight away but it all worked out so dont give up.
Its not easy. We have maybe 400 left every month and 10k in debt, big mortgage rates, we count every penny. Two-three years ago we were really great on each level including financially. Didnt have to worry at all, but things change and life happens. Wont be going into details. But things will change. Good luck!

Iamthewombat

PatientlyWaiting21
It’s shit, we have a childcare crisis and yet again it was ignored in the spring budget. How many times did Sunak say he wanted to support hard working families? Families can’t work without childcare, so who exactly is our government supporting? They want to look at how Canada, Sweden and Germany are running things!
Whilst I can’t get behind the spring budget statement, there’s no way we’re having free or subsidised childcare unless we’re all prepared to pay more in tax. Much more. In a time of rising food prices and energy bills, do you think that would have been a popular policy, if the chancellor had announced it?

…….Exactly, we do have very heavily subsidised childcare via universal credit for people who need it and TFC etc already, sorry you feeling like you should be better off financially just because you’ve delegated care to a nursery is not a policy I would be happy funding when like most other people in the country we’re watching the pennies. I delegated care to a nursery too and didn’t resent the fact that paying my entire salary to them as their time and expertise is no less precious than mine. Policies that help parents such as flexible working, return to work traineeships, yes absolutely these should be promoted as huge value to parents and the country at relatively little cost

@Autumn42 presumably you don't understand what "heavily subsidised" means!

[quote Getyourarseofffthequattro]@Autumn42 presumably you don't understand what "heavily subsidised" means![/quote]
When I was a single parent on tax credits 70% of my childcare costs were paid for, which I’d consider quite heavily subsidised!

The majority of people do not get 70% or anywhere close to it.

It's a bit ironic that you don't want to pay anything towards anyone elses childcare but you were happy to take the maximum that most people don't get.

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

The majority of people do not get 70% or anywhere close to it.

It's a bit ironic that you don't want to pay anything towards anyone elses childcare but you were happy to take the maximum that most people don't get.

I’m quite happy to fund people on universal credit, where did I say I wasn’t???? How does not being happy to fund childcare beyond TFC and funded hours just because someone thinks they should be better off in paid employment instead of spending that time caring for their child equate to me not wanting to fund help for people who really need it?? I think you’ll find the current funding for childcare is even more generous under universal credit 85% compared to the 70% I got under tax credits. Of course if your income is above certain threshold what you entitled to gets reduced, that has always been the case

So basically you're happy to take but fuck everyone else if they're not on UC. Let's all give up work then shall we! Christ.

"People who really need it" are people like op for fucks Sake. Unemployed people on UC, and people who work but are low earners on UC are not the only people struggling.

People over the UC threshold often struggle just as much, but fuck them eh. Maybe more people will stop working because it doesn't benefit you as a parent at all sometimes.

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

So basically you're happy to take but fuck everyone else if they're not on UC. Let's all give up work then shall we! Christ.

"People who really need it" are people like op for fucks Sake. Unemployed people on UC, and people who work but are low earners on UC are not the only people struggling.

People over the UC threshold often struggle just as much, but fuck them eh. Maybe more people will stop working because it doesn't benefit you as a parent at all sometimes.

It would benefit is hugely as I still pay 70% of my salary in childcare, I just don’t agree with the ideology that a parents time is less valuable if spent caring for their young child than if they are in paid work. One is not morally superior to the other. It would be great if parents were given more support, we’d appreciate it as much as the OP but give it as a benefit to all parents not just those deemed worthy because they exchange the time spent caring for their child for paid employment. As a single parent or couple both on minimum wage, obviously you can’t live on thin air so it’s great there is a system to support them and would say silly if they didn’t have the option to have the assistance in either childcare help or cash to spend on living expenses. When I had my first child there as no account taken of childcare costs so you were effectively stuck on benefits, very different situation to non low income couples who just resent the fact that most of one their salary’s will have to go on the demanding job of caring for their young children if they both want to work at the same time

@Autumn42 nobody is saying their time is less valuable. You're coming at this from a bizarre angle. Quitting work shouldn't be essentially forced. It affects women more as well, presumably you're not a feminist?

[quote Getyourarseofffthequattro]@Autumn42 nobody is saying their time is less valuable. You're coming at this from a bizarre angle. Quitting work shouldn't be essentially forced. It affects women more as well, presumably you're not a feminist?[/quote]
Well why not give parents it as a cash benefit or tax break to spend on childcare or making up for the loss of earnings if this isn’t the ideology behind such demands for more ‘affordable’ childcare.

There are plenty of people on here who claimed to have been forced to quit work when actually what they meant was they weren’t as better off working as they wanted to be. If you include the extra childcare paid over the summer then we were actually net income worse off me working for the 18 months until I got flexible hours. We’re actually still paying off the money had to borrow for childcare from last summer. However it was our choice to both continue working and pay for a nursery to give us that option. If my husband had insisted that he wouldn’t drop his hours or cover the excess funding to enable me to work if my salary hadn’t covered childcare then I could of left him and then would be entitled to universal credit and have done what I liked, so either way no one would of been forcing me to not work.

I totally get the OP being angry about the flexible hours, as I said before this is such a small concession on the employers part for what is a huge gain for the OP and doesn’t require everyone’s taxes to be put up but I don’t understand her expecting everyone else to further fund their childcare more than the current system already does

I worked weekends & also collected another mums children from school & had them during school holidays to give me that extra money I needed. I was probably better off than working full-time and paying a shed load out in childcare. Another alternative would be to work part time and a friend do the same & help each other out with childcare.
Plus I was told if you are in receipt of family allowance, then your NI contributions due are zero, the year will count towards your pension. It's called Home Responsibility Protection. So no need to worry about state pension contributions.
You could do office cleaning in the evenings when hubbie gets in from work, until you have children at school. ?

What about dad or dads...?

I think some people are getting a bit rude about this ... at no point did I say I wanted subsidies or anything like that to pay for my childcare. I asked how other people manage when childcare costs more than the take home pay. I understand for a lot of people career progression is a really important Factor. For my family, having enough money to cover everything and to live on is our priorty.
There are also a lot of people who clearly do not understand how UC works. They don't just pay 70 or 80% of childcare. And I have done a calculator we are not entitled to any help. My DP is not a high earner but not on minimum wage. He earns an average wage, but this just not stretch far enough to cover everything.
For example, take home pay : 2000
Mortgage : 700
Council tax:200
Gas/ Electricity: 200
Water: 45
DP Van ( for work so essential ) 150 per month
DP Petrol: 200- 250 per month
Food: 320 per month
Insurances: 50 per month
This leaves us with 85 per month spare money

These costs also do not include petrol for my car which I need for school run , shopping etc. I also can't walk to school as its too far away.

All clothing / items for the children comes from the child benefit money. We survive at the moment because I receive smp but when this ends I clearly need to work as we need the additonal money. But if this is taken up by childcare we are in deficit so am trying to work away around this. And with UC we are not entitled to any support on these figures as not classed as low earners.

Sorry for the long reply but I'm getting annoyed at people stipulating that I'm loaded and just don't want to pay!

Thank-you so much to those of you who are giving practical advice and sharing what you do ,it's really helpful

Priority **

I think it really depends on whether you have a job or a career that’s difficult to go back into if you were to take a career break while your children are younger.

We managed it by me changing jobs. I went from full time retail management to part time in hospitality. It meant I was still working but was there during the day and dh was there evenings and weekend. Did it for 18 years and only recently retrained and went back into full time employment.

So we paid no childcare costs at all.

@Rebornagain

I'm reading this and surely the most important thing here is spending time with the children.

Women have been sold a pup about being able to have a career, family etc something has to give.

All this talk about the father going out to work freely etc it's not free choice is it , he is paying for the family to live.

I completely agree with this and somewhat surprised by some of the comments. It's a weigh up between what's affordable and what's ultimately best for your children. I chose to take the cut and spend time as a SAHM and then up my hours at age 3 when more childcare was affordable. I don't regret this and each to there own, at the time unfortunately my job at a charity did not pay enough for it being practical and cutting my husbands hours or pay wasn't financially practical. We we're a team and his pay was the main family income. That was before the cost of living like now is even more ridiculous!! i

Why go back to work just to lose money? Enjoy your time with young children and perhaps top up with a Saturday job or do car boots etc? Once they are both at school you can get back to work and the daily slog.

I fell into a trap when my DC were toddlers. The children's father (now my XH) pointed out that if I went back to work, childcare would cost more than I could earn. So he convinced me to be a SAHM.

Once the DC were old enough for school, however, I still couldn't go back to work because someone had to drive them to school in the morning, pick them up and bring them home for lunch, drive them back to school an hour later and then pick them up after school and supervise their homework. This went on for years. I bitterly regretted not insisting on going back to work, no matter what the cost in childcare.

Granted this was about 18 years ago and we were living in Switzerland.

@LoisLane66

Don't have children you can't afford.

This attitude is so shitty, there are all sorts of structural factors impacting people's wealth. I'm from South Africa and when I was growing up, white people were generally wealthy and black people were generally poor. It's not much better now. Ridiculous and offensive to say only those with money should be allowed children.