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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For telling my neighbour he should stay home

448 replies

queensonia · 23/03/2022 18:16

My next door neighbours both tested positive for COVID on the weekend. Today I saw the husband getting in his car to go to work. He works for a medium sized public company with a lot of staff. He said he was told that he’s not legally obliged to isolate and that if he felt well enough he should still go into work. I told him he was morally obliged to isolate because he could infect colleagues who may suffer far worse than he is currently and pass it on to their relatives who may also get very ill or die. Is this what everyone is doing now.? In my industry we are pcr tested twice a week and not allowed on site until the test is negative.

OP posts:

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 23/03/2022 19:05

Its a good job that morals pay the bills....

Oh wait, they don't.

Mangogogogo · 23/03/2022 19:07

Could you imagine waking up feeling grotty, testing positive, spending all night worrying about going in to work, worried about the bills, worried about being reprimanded by work for being off so you decide you have to go against your gut and go to work… only to come outside to your righteous neighbour having a fucking pop at you. Jesus I’d have probably (verbally) taken your head off.

Beautiful3 · 23/03/2022 19:08

He's following government guidelines. He's allowed to go to work as normal, with covid. You're not going to pay his loss of earnings, so I do think you're being unreasonable.

OneToThree · 23/03/2022 19:08

Mind your own business!

Gilly12345 · 23/03/2022 19:09

You really should mind your own business, not all companies are paying sick pay so people are returning to work.

There is no law stipulating that you have to stay at home so it is between the person and their employer.

The MP Savid Javid was on BBC Breakfast on Monday morning and said he would go to work if he tested positive and had no symptoms.

Butt out.

gogohm · 23/03/2022 19:10

Between him and his employer. The rules now are go to work if you are well. There are no lft being sent out. I'm not going to get into whether the policy is right or wrong just that he's doing as government guidance suggests, stay in for 5 days

Looneytune253 · 23/03/2022 19:10

Yabvvvu genuinely. As someone who has followed all the rules and would still isolate now if I tested positive. You have no right to tell your adult neighbour off for something he's legally allowed to do and it's between him and his employer. Absolutely NOTHING to do with a busybody neighbour

Lancrelady80 · 23/03/2022 19:11

Forget the bills, it's not just about those. It's absence policy. Dh has been working in close contact with a colleague who tested positive. Boss told him he had to be in as not a legal requirement to stay off and one more absence would trigger disciplinary action. (Colleague has had a series of unrelated illnesses over the last year which were all perfectly valid and reasonable, but have added up.)

Consequently dh has brought it home. My son has caught it (but went to school before it showed on any tests, so it's now decimating his class. I have caught it, meaning a class at the school I teach has lost a teacher. There are no supply teachers to be had so my small class is having to combine with another older age group, screwing up all the plans both classes had in place so learning will be lost. I have probably passed it onto at least some children in my class (now likely to spread it to the other class as combining)and my colleagues. So that's approx 100 children and adults directly negatively affected if not actually infected purely due to the ridiculous application of a rigid absence management policy during what is still a pandemic.

So whilst I agree it would have been significantly better for op's neighbour to stay off, I completely appreciate bills and company policy may dictate otherwise. OP is coming from a place of ridiculous privilege to think s/he can judge them for it.

All because absence policy dictated

TheArtfulBlogger · 23/03/2022 19:11

@WeDontShutUpAboutBruno

Its a good job that morals pay the bills....

Oh wait, they don't.

Stay home, lose some money, but protect possibly vulnerable people from being really ill....umm...

Nah, off I go to work

I wonder when thinking of others before yourself being a "moral" to be sneered at

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 23/03/2022 19:12

I may have thought it but wouldn’t say it to a neighbour

Nillynally · 23/03/2022 19:12

I notice all the judgey people work from home or have work places that expect them to stay home- presumably on full pay.

justasimplelife · 23/03/2022 19:13

Unfortunately the biggest mistake he's made is telling you!

girlmom21 · 23/03/2022 19:14

Did you offer to pay his mortgage or are you expecting his employer to do that while he's breaking his contractual obligations?

WelshyMaud · 23/03/2022 19:15

Stay home, lose some money, but protect possibly vulnerable people from being really ill....umm...

If I was in a situation where I could either watch my children starve/freeze or infect a vulnerable person then unfortunately the vulnerable person would be getting infected.

Not everyone can afford your level of morality. Be grateful that you clearly can.

PollysPockets · 23/03/2022 19:16

If my husband tests positive his work place (retail) have insisted that he comes into work if he is well enough. If not he may lose his job.
Obviously he would prefer to do the ‘right’ thing and not infect others but we can’t afford for him to lose his job so unfortunately it’s not even a choice we could make.
It’s very easy for more fortunate people to say they shouldn’t be going into work but you’re out of touch with the reality of the situation of the modern workplace.

Crunchymum · 23/03/2022 19:16

@queensonia

2 PCR tests a week?

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 23/03/2022 19:16

Stay home, lose some money, but protect possibly vulnerable people from being really ill....umm...

Not sure you're aware of the cost of living crisis and the impact its having on people.

Its bad enough for people having to choose between electric and food, let alone having the blame placed on them for haveing to go into work so they can afford to eat and have a house.

Maybe you should open your eyes to the world around you before you sneer at people for not wanting to "lose some money" that they absolutely can't afford.

Morals are a privilege that some can't afford at the moment.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/03/2022 19:18

@TheArtfulBlogger presumably you're aware of the cost of living crisis currently happening. Many people have children to feed. Children are also vulnerable. There are other issues than Covid.

LotusCheesecake · 23/03/2022 19:20

@WeDontShutUpAboutBruno

Stay home, lose some money, but protect possibly vulnerable people from being really ill....umm...

Not sure you're aware of the cost of living crisis and the impact its having on people.

Its bad enough for people having to choose between electric and food, let alone having the blame placed on them for haveing to go into work so they can afford to eat and have a house.

Maybe you should open your eyes to the world around you before you sneer at people for not wanting to "lose some money" that they absolutely can't afford.

Morals are a privilege that some can't afford at the moment.

Exactly this.

I notice not one of the people spouting on about "morals" have said that they have willingly given up salary - I would bet a huge amount of money that they are either stay at home parents or get full sick pay (I know someone up the thread said they were staying off unpaid, however they weren't one of the preachy crew)

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 23/03/2022 19:20

If my neighbour said that to me, I'd probably tell them to fuck off, quite frankly.

I'm self-employed and received absolutely no help over any of the lockdowns as I was a new business. I got nothing. If they think I should stay home from work, they can pay me my lost income for that time.

XenoBitch · 23/03/2022 19:21

Stay home, lose some money, but protect possibly vulnerable people from being really ill....umm...

Nah, off I go to work

I wonder when thinking of others before yourself being a "moral" to be sneered at

This person has been told to go to work though. They can't just decide not to.

Hidingin · 23/03/2022 19:21

Morals don’t pay the bills.
Mind your business

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/03/2022 19:22

@TheArtfulBlogger and as for telling people to "put others before themselves", why don't you put someone before yourself then and pay the bills of someone who has to isolate?

Gizacluethen · 23/03/2022 19:24

God some people are desperate to stay in lockdown.
People go to work when they're poorly all the time. He needs to earn money.

TheWomandestroyed · 23/03/2022 19:30

@Thebig3

Hospitals are not overwhelmed....what a load of rubbish

That's just not true, the most read article in our local paper today was the hospital telling if significant pressures and to only go to A&E if life or death situation.

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