To feel robbed of parenthood?

[csm93]

Partner and I are late-20's/early 30's. Feel absolutely shafted with everything that is going on. Cost of living crisis, war, pandemic/lockdowns, stagnant wages etc. I know thousands/millions will be in the same boat. And I'm sure lots of those people view it differently. But we had a conversation last night saying that there is no way we could bring a child into this world, with all the uncertainty, the financial insecurity and the unknown as to what kind of society our child would grow up in.
Feel like our generation has been totally screwed over, and feel resentful of that.

Aibu?
Would you start a family in the current climate??

I think you’re being unreasonable. But you do you, it won’t matter in the larger scheme.

I was just about to explain myself but noticed you’ve not been back to engage with the thread yet, so think I’ll keep my powder dry.

I had this thought while PG, however I was told by midwife that for all I know my daughter could grow up to do something so amazing with her life that it could change the world, you don’t know what the future holds.

‘Your greatest contribution may not be something you do but someone you raise’

Woe is you!

My parents felt the same way when they were younger. They are not particularly dramatic people either. They obviously had a change of mind eventually and the world I live in is fine. Yes there is war, a pandemic, high cost of living etc but sadly this is life. All these events have happened in the past and they will happen in the future.

People have kids even if the worlds a mess or we would’ve died out as soon as we became.
I’m a mother of one in my twenties with a fabulous partner, and a decent career we’d like to try for number 2 in a couple of years.
This too shall pass.
I was born in a big fat hairy recession, dissolution of the Cold War,
My fiancé was born when everyone was terrified of HIV/AIDS
No time is ideal
If you want kids have them

There's never been an ideal time - just have them if you want them.

Life can be shit and that has always been so. But the human race kept on reproducing.

Children are our hope for the future.

Is this definitely just about the state of the world and not that your partner is saying this as an excuse because he doesn't want kids? Do you think there's no way you could afford kids?

I think you are making the best decision.

If you feel like this about global warming, and war in Europe, I think you might find it difficult if your child is born with any challenges.

I wanted to be a parent, I didn’t expect to be a carer. They’re very different, and you don’t get a choice. But I took it on the chin because it’s just what happened. They are the lights of my life, and the 30% that is genuine parenting is a joy.

I have been “robbed” of parenting, others far more so than me and that doesn’t always come from a decision making process.

So, quit whilst it’s your decision, and not something foisted upon you.

You are moaning. But... if I were your age & without kids I would feel disinclined to bring a child into the world too.

This seems like some sort of veiled virtue signalling. The world continues to turn, there are always things going on - it’s the nature of life! People have had children since the start of time. Just decide whether you want one or not.

Every generation has its challenges to face. My father in law is 94, born 1928. He's seen a world war, the cold war, the IRA bombings (they live in b'ham so the pub bombings were close), miners' strikes, various recessions and now a pandemic. He's one of the most positive people I know. Can you point to a time in history when there were no challenges?

Judgey much?

I had a baby during the pandemic. If people stopped having babies every time things went wrong, we would have died out long ago.

Do I worry about the things you mentioned? Absolutely. But my grandma was born during ww2 and has had a lovely, fulfilling life.

There are no guarantees of a good life for anyone, regardless of when/where they are born. But the instinct to reproduce is strong.

All we can do is to try our best to give our children the best shot at a happy life that we can.

I totally get your point. Climate change is bloody scary. And an actual war very close by that we will likely be drawn in to with nuclear/chemical weapons very possibly being used. A feeling that history was behind us, but it’s not and the future is so uncertain. I don’t think this time can be compared to ww2 or any previous time.

I’ve got two young children by the way, and not regretting my choices but am worried about their future.

Talk about being dramatic. Get a grip YABVVU

When my father was a child WW2 was in full pelt, when I was a child my parents had to cope with interest rates of 13%, so far you’ve had everything cushy but you’re no worse off than others before you

😂

It could seem like a “perfect” time ! Then when baby is here something “imperfect” could happen….there are no guarantees in life. This baby will have 2 loving caring parents so that helps !

I also think you're being dramatic. If you don't want children, that's fine, no one is making you. But to think that you somehow have it worse than the generations before you is just self pity.

@GabriellaMontez

'Robbed?' Get a grip.

So much this. Such dramatics. Have children if you want them.

Do you imagine you are the only generation that feels/felt like that? Hasn't it occurred to you that we all felt like that at some point.

I'd had my first mortgage a week when the £ came under attack and John Major put interest rates up 5% in one day. Not 0.5%...5% !

I worked for a bank at the time. We had three suicides that weekend. People were walking into building societies and handing back their house keys. I'd spent years scraping together the deposit for a truly scruffy flat, one week in, I thought I'd lost everything. And yet my generation (born 60s) are lucky because we haven't faced a world war yet. And we've grown up with the NHS.

My mum turned 18 in 1939. She'd already lost her brother, sister and mother to TB. Then faced WWII.

The generation before that had the great depression, and the one before that had WWI and Spanish Flu.

Having DS is what keeps me going. I keep fighting to ensure he has a decent future. Without him, I'd probably give up.

Don't let anything stop you having a child if that is what you want.

I think people are being a bit harsh to the poster here. To have children you need to feel positive about the world and have hope for the future. This is extremely difficult at the moment.

Just have a baby if you want one.

And by the way, fine if you don't want children. I'm childfree and very happy with that decision, but you just sound judgemental of those who do. No one is robbing you of anything. It's your decision either way.