I know I'm not aibu to say wake the fuck up mn

[Muppetlove]

So many times I've seen people reply to first time posters apparently talking about their teenagers having sick, periods or even sometimes talking about issues with younger kids. Mumsnet make it too easy for people to get their sick jollies on here. I can't change mumsnet but I can say some of you are way too naive about the anonymity on mumsnet and unless you want to contribute to sickos getting their rocks off on your posts, sometimes about your own children start being a bit wiser please!

If you are replying to a thread with sicko potential please take a minute to do a quick search to make sure this is a regular poster or at least someone who has referred to name changing. It's your responsibility to help protect our kids, stop either trusting others like previous posters or mumsmey to do that

Always find it mystifying, but also now can spot it. I'm in another non child-related forum where every now and then the plimsolls person pops up, who I think is probably the same person as 'how much do you spend on school uniform?', 'Kid's coat is too tight?' And may or may not be the same person as 'teacher won't let my child go to the toilet'

According to @Muppetlove one way is looking at the posters posting history.

So I did. @Muppetlove has been here for most of March - that's it.

So what conclusion do we craw from that?

• Name change?
• New poster / long time lurker with a bee in their bonnet?
• As yet unrecognised "sicko"?

It also leads to the weird royalty idea as discussed previously. A genuine poster with 1 posts opinion is as valid as a poster with 1000.

The fact that posters can change their username whenever they want is something that I've never seen before on any forum and I've been using forums for over 25 years

There's some forums that don't allow a new user to start a thread until they've made a certain number of comments. Trolls can't be bothered with this and that's why it's in place

MN is a very easy target for trolls, just come on and start posting under multiple usernames all using one email address and you can start threads the second you join

So what? That's what makes MN what it is.

That ability to change names is what makes it easier for posters to ask about some pretty fucked up issues in their lives. That's what it is there for.

You could remove that ability and then what? Yet more women with nowhere to turn for information and support?

Grow a thicker skin. Scroll on by. Report. But think about the reasons why the ability to name change might be useful on a site that is unique in it support for women with some pretty scary issues.

Overall I don't think its a good idea to stop new posters starting threads.

Often MN is the first search result when you Google anything.

The thought if someone in a horrible situation having to make 50 contributions to threads before asking for help themselves doesn't sit right with me.

Look how many posters realise they are being abused when they post.

The trolling is a side effect of people asking for quick help when needed.

@burnthur5t

The fact that posters can change their username whenever they want is something that I've never seen before on any forum and I've been using forums for over 25 years

There's some forums that don't allow a new user to start a thread until they've made a certain number of comments. Trolls can't be bothered with this and that's why it's in place

MN is a very easy target for trolls, just come on and start posting under multiple usernames all using one email address and you can start threads the second you join

They can be bothered to make innocuous posts, I don't know if it still happens but trolls used to build up a number of posts on baby names before starting their dodgy threads. I assume to try and look genuine

maybe some paid moderators over night might solve some of the problems?

The fact that posters can change their username whenever they want is something that I've never seen before on any forum and I've been using forums for over 25 years

And how many of those forums are still going, still active? The ability to NC is what attracted me to this website

Tbh i really dont care that much if someone gets off on reading a mumsnet post about poo or periods. Im not thrilled by it, but i am not going to spend much time worrying that any basic question about bodily things might be erotic to a weirdo. Men get fetishes about all sorts of weird stuff. What on earth do you think is gonna happen?

A couple of years ago someone managed to get dozens of mumsnetters talking about the relaxed and cool relationship they have with their daughters and specifically their genitals. And it turned into this weird braggy thing - everyone trying to show off how familiar they were with their daughters vaginas. Creepy.

I name change constantly. I began under this name this morning and will probably keep it for 3/4 weeks.

I do think though that having the number of posts a poster has made under any name a good one. I know it's not fool proof but it is at least something that can be checked.

I would never, ever give out personal information about my children and I don't think it is that difficult to spot someone who is looking for wank fodder. There's something about the tone which is hard to put into words.

Who cares though? If someone gets off reading about poo or underwear you can't see them so why does it matter? Just ignore them, they're not wanking in front of you so just forget about it.

@WhyIsEverythingSoHard

But *@RisingMoon* does it mean women should stop talking about those issues because some man somewhere is having a wank?

Why should we stop posting about those and see women not getting the support they need? Why is it always women who censor themselves and go without?

Totally agree.

@burnthur5t

The fact that posters can change their username whenever they want is something that I've never seen before on any forum and I've been using forums for over 25 years

There's some forums that don't allow a new user to start a thread until they've made a certain number of comments. Trolls can't be bothered with this and that's why it's in place

MN is a very easy target for trolls, just come on and start posting under multiple usernames all using one email address and you can start threads the second you join

I wouldnt want a site ike MN wo the ability to name change. I am changing my name each and every single time I am starting a thread and some times in between. That's my one way to ensure anonymity.

Seeing the number of posts that then end up in the DM etc... I dont particularly want anything that could be easily linked to me in RL to be there.
If that was completely closed forum, then fair enough because it would give SOME privacy but not when its open to all like MN (Not even going into the fact it's linked to FB etc...)

I am clearly very naive
Am I’m in a somewhat safeguarding role ( aren't we all)
So I would like more specific advice on what I’m looking out for ?
I do know teens who buy bondage-type risqué or innapropiate slogans / images on their clothes and have had many a conversation about it infact today had great debate on wether or not a teacher can tell a sixth former to not wear low cut top verses feminist right to wear what you like etc etc if that debate was in here I’d not automatically think pervert because surely there is so much better ways of getting a thrill?
The “what has just out if my bum “ thread a while back. Fascinating and gross but never crossed my mind anyone would get jollies from that type of thing?
Even if you posted “ my 5 year old boy who goes to a medium private school has big testicles and is being bullied is it a glostershire thing or does this happen in other counties??” How is my boy at risk ? Unless I post his face / testicles and home address???

glostershire Wash your mouth out.

Gloucestershire....

@HollowTalk

Why can't we have the number of posts we've made next to our names even if we name changed? Even if it was just 100 or 200 etc then it would show if someone was actually a regular.

Excellent idea

It's a bit of a fine line. On the one hand, if someone gets off on reading about haircuts/sanpro/medical symptoms/whatever normal daily occurrance, then just living in the world, including the online world, means they have plenty of material available every day. MN threads don't surely make much of a difference overall, they can find this stuff literally anywhere, and we can't prevent that (Well, maybe the parking threads excepted, but who knows, there may be one...). If someone is wanking over a description of a nice bob then is that harming anyone?

In the real world, anyone can walk into a hairdresser and watch people getting their hair cut, or watch people in the sanpro aisle in Tesco, or, potentially more ominously of course, sit in the park near the playground to eat their sandwich...

But on the other hand there is also the fact that feeding a paraphila/addiction can make it more likely that the person goes on to seek higher levels of gratification eg the online child abuse image viewer who then goes on to contact offending. Where is the line to be drawn in online conversation/troll-hunting? (I don't have an answer).

Honestly, people get their kicks from the most bizarre things.

I had a broken leg and joined a FB group for support. OMG, they have to be on constant alert for plaster fetish pervs and other wierdos. One time, i put up a photo of my foot and leg as I was worried by the massive bruising. I had some perv messaging me how sexy my foot is and how he would like to suck my toes I never even knew this was a thing!!

I mean, we need common sense, obviously. But some people get turned on by the most everyday things (like a brusied and battered swollen ankle) and this is an anonymous forum so (hopefully) no can be identified.

PS I would absolutely hate it is could not namechange on MN, and it would have cut me out of a number of threads I have found incredibly helpful or interesting.

@FarangGirl illness/injury/surgical appliance fetishes are very common compared to some of the wilder shit out there! There is probably nothing in the world (or beyond) that someone does not have a fetish about...

@FarangGirl

Honestly, people get their kicks from the most bizarre things.

I had a broken leg and joined a FB group for support. OMG, they have to be on constant alert for plaster fetish pervs and other wierdos. One time, i put up a photo of my foot and leg as I was worried by the massive bruising. I had some perv messaging me how sexy my foot is and how he would like to suck my toes I never even knew this was a thing!!

I mean, we need common sense, obviously. But some people get turned on by the most everyday things (like a brusied and battered swollen ankle) and this is an anonymous forum so (hopefully) no can be identified.

PLASTER FETISH?! how bizarre!!

”Yes, there's a difference, but that doesn't mean the one asking about their teen is a troll/sicko FGS. There is nothing wrong with asking what other teens/parents have found good/comfortable for their young daughters. People shouldn't be put off asking because of lurking sick Fucks.”

@Fantasticfebruary

It’s the way the trolls ask that’s sick, not those who are genuinely seeking support.

@Chasingaftermidnight

I never knew either but I've since had my eyes opened!
And, yes, plaster/broken limb fetish is indeed surprisingly common.