I know I'm not aibu to say wake the fuck up mn

[Muppetlove]

So many times I've seen people reply to first time posters apparently talking about their teenagers having sick, periods or even sometimes talking about issues with younger kids. Mumsnet make it too easy for people to get their sick jollies on here. I can't change mumsnet but I can say some of you are way too naive about the anonymity on mumsnet and unless you want to contribute to sickos getting their rocks off on your posts, sometimes about your own children start being a bit wiser please!

If you are replying to a thread with sicko potential please take a minute to do a quick search to make sure this is a regular poster or at least someone who has referred to name changing. It's your responsibility to help protect our kids, stop either trusting others like previous posters or mumsmey to do that

@MsMarch

While I'm not disputing that there may well be some rather odd people who get off on stories of heavy periods or whatever, I think there are fare more likely to be people on here who have massively benefited from being able to say things on an anonymous forum that they'd never say out loud in real life. I mean, there's still this weird taboo about talking about things like periods and I know that I've found comments and experiences shared on here quite useful in understanding, for example, how my body and periods are changing as I near menopause. Honestly, I've always experienced flooding for example but had no idea it was a THING or had a name. Thanks MN for that and helping me realise it wasn't just me!

And while I absolutely agree with not putting identifying details out there, again, sometimes, being able to talk completely honestly about something that's happening with the DC on an anonymous forum is incredibly helpful, especially if it's something my child would be mortified if anyone he/she knew in real life knew about it.

Cross posted with you! But yes, exactly that!

I think there's a massive difference between my talking in detail about my own periods/health and my daughter's. One is my story to tell. The other isn't.

And yes, I do worry about personal data held by MN being accessed by those with ill intent.

I do sometimes think some posters blurt things out about their daughters and sons without really thinking through the possible consequences.

@RisingMoon

Same with women who have incontinence issues. I’ve seen threads where the OP was struggling and they were told to stop the thread because poo troll blablabla. Basically we are told, one again, as women, to police ourselves and stop asking for help/share experiences.

No one can stop these topics from being discussed on MN but I am always glad when someone flags up the possibility that someone may be out there wanking over, for example, an incontinence post.

Some posters are genuinely unaware that particular topics are frequently fetishised and may want to stop posting about it.

If a genuine poster gets something out of the thread, so what if some weirdo gets their rocks off over it?? Really, as long as it helps someone, does the other sad fuck really matter?

I always think that if you get past four pages of replies without op returning that it indicates they may be trolling.

To pp embarrassed as I certainly do not need to know, nor wish others to know, how much I waste my life on MN!

No one can stop these topics from being discussed on MN but I am always glad when someone flags up the possibility that someone may be out there wanking over, for example, an incontinence post.

But why? Honestly, if someone is wanking over me asking what are the best period panties to manage my erratic periods that include heavy flooding, then yes, they are sad sick people. But does it really affect me? They don't know me or who I am. And what am I supposed to do? Stop posting for help? As a pp has said, why must I police myself. Thank god there are forums like MN where I can ask this stuff and keep myself safe at the same time vs in real life where you might worry about being judged or being overheard by someone who would then know who I am.

But @RisingMoon does it mean women should stop talking about those issues because some man somewhere is having a wank?

Why should we stop posting about those and see women not getting the support they need? Why is it always women who censor themselves and go without?

@Fantasticfebruary I am finding our cross posting amusing now!

If a genuine poster gets something out of the thread, so what if some weirdo gets their rocks off over it?? Really, as long as it helps someone, does the other sad fuck really matter?

I don’t disagree with you!

It’s just that some posters are very naïve and do appreciate being made aware that they are either being intentionally led to write fetishised content or that it’s a typically fetishised topic that they are writing in detail about.

Then the poster can make a more informed decision as to how much to contribute to the topic based on whether or not they care about the wankery.

Are people nit careful about what they are posting?
Like name change on a regular bais, changing details such as number if dcs, their sex or their age? Do people ever share where they live AND share very personal details under the same name?

There was someone on here a few years ago who offered to see how anonymous people were on MN, and she got a fair few people asking, and she managed to track people down from surprisingly few details posted on here. It was quite scary.

Some people just have fairly recognisable situations they need advice on, if one thread gets derailed and they start again changing a few details, some people do bring old threads up if they suspect. It's a pretty shitty thing to do, but it happens, and I believe it would happen more if the posters who do that feel as though they had confirmation because of a post count or year.

@Hobnobswantshernameback

I just think people need to engage their brains. I mean would you tell a room full of people about the time you shat yourself? Or ask them to share similar experiences? Would you tell a bunch of randoms about your teen daughters heavy periods? And that's before you even get on to the perve angle Not everything needs to be shared beyond discussion with professionals

Exactly.

@WhyIsEverythingSoHard

But *@RisingMoon* does it mean women should stop talking about those issues because some man somewhere is having a wank?

Why should we stop posting about those and see women not getting the support they need? Why is it always women who censor themselves and go without?

It's sad, isn't it, to think that these boards - that are definitely, as you say, so helpful - might be part-colonised by wanking men and journalists.

Learning to spot them is helpful, though, I think.

But that wasn't the point hobnobs was making @tallulahtoo78. And now you've posted a whole load of identifying stuff that is completely unnecessary.

To demonstrate the absolute hypocrisy of her post

And trust me then I say that there is far far more identifying details the poster has posted than what I have done here

@HollowTalk

Why can't we have the number of posts we've made next to our names even if we name changed? Even if it was just 100 or 200 etc then it would show if someone was actually a regular.

That's a brilliant idea @HollowTalk Maybe you should pitch this to mumsnet.

It isn't hypocritical at all! Her post was about what we share that the trolls/perves love to wank over. Not details about her own life.

Maybe I’m naive but really, what does it matter, as long as you’re not posting anything that will identify you or the person you’re talking about?

I’m sure there are people getting their “sick jollies” either by starting threads or by lurking on them, but the benefit to non-pervs from being able to talk about stuff they couldn’t discuss in real life must massively outweigh the risk (of what, exactly?).

@BIWI

But that wasn't the point hobnobs was making *@tallulahtoo78*. And now you've posted a whole load of identifying stuff that is completely unnecessary.

Agree, but equally it might not be true.

There’s a difference between women discussing the issues we face (periods, birth injuries, menopause and incontinence etc) in various relevant forums such as; chat or health and the ‘new’ poster on AIBU who says “AIBU to ask which sanitary products you use for your 13 year old?”.

@WhyIsEverythingSoHard

But *@RisingMoon* does it mean women should stop talking about those issues because some man somewhere is having a wank?

Why should we stop posting about those and see women not getting the support they need? Why is it always women who censor themselves and go without?

Yes. This.

I refuse to censor myself on an anonymous forum in case some pervert is reading my posts. I censor myself enough in the real world to protect myself, to stop other people being uncomfortable etc. It's a godsend having somewhere to speak openly about things that are too difficult to discuss in real life. Every single time I see a woman on here posting about how she is struggling with a newborn, beating herself up because she thinks she's a terrible mother because she hasn't immediately bonded with her baby, I am grateful that MN exists. I wasn't even brave enough to admit that, even on MN.

Trolls post a lot on here. They are often easy to spot by their writing style alone and certainly by their content - perv stuff encouraging sharing and fantastical drama encouraging frothing.

Name changing allows them to do it. They can be regular posters with a history too (the look at me I’m so rich trolls keep up the act across a number of posts, as do the look at me I’m such a victim trolls).

I blame those posters too invested in their need to share their SM wisdom and bad advice for the proliferation for not just encouraging them but also protecting them.

Tallulah that was a bit unnecessary to reveal your 'sleuthing' about hobnobs like that. I know the point you're trying to make but you could have told her in a PM rather than put it all down on here.

I'm a serial namechanger BTW and was on the end of a serious troll hunt once. It wasn't nice. Report to MN if any doubts - they have ways of looking into things in the background.

@Mickarooni

There’s a difference between women discussing the issues we face (periods, birth injuries, menopause and incontinence etc) in various relevant forums such as; chat or health and the ‘new’ poster on AIBU who says “AIBU to ask which sanitary products you use for your 13 year old?”.

Just the other day a thread popped up on something I'd been thinking about. For my own reasons, I hadn't wanted to post. But when this thread appeared, I read it with great interest and found it very helpful.This happens a lot. And I'm sure many of us first came to MN because we googled something random and this is where we landed - certainly, that was true for me.

Again, even if this person is a sick fuck, I'm struggling to understand how an anonymous woman on the internet saying "my 13 year old likes modi bodi period pants" is a woman feeding the trolls. It's just a woman answering a question. Anonymously.

It would be completely different on, say, Facebook. Where it would be very easy to figure out who that 13 year old is and then, conceivably, be specifically and consciously looking for her/stalking her/following her and fantasising about her period products.

Alongside the obvious poo, pee, period ones, the ones about getting your kids' hair cut are often trolls - some people have haircut fetishes and get off on reading about them. So OP says they've namechanged and says their 8 year old daughter has waist length hair but it's always matted and she won't sit still to have it brushed/can't manage it herself. Cue a load of posters talking about "a nice bob" and the fetishist ends up with pages of wank material.
There was a spate of them a while back and someone posting in one of the threads said it could be this. It seemed like a completely innocuous OP and everyday problem but wasn't.

I think some people who have been around on the forum longer are more attuned to clues that someone is trolling and so we should report posts we think could be dubious rather than troll hunting on the thread or coming up with some new system to identify how long posters have been around which could put off genuine new people.

I’ve seen 🚨 on posts where people have warned others to think about what they share. I also once saw someone post a random photo of Margaret Thatcher which made me laugh.