The Queen and a Wheelchair

[Nellielephant]

AIBU to be annoyed that the newspapers are reporting that the Queen does not want to be seen in a Wheelchair? For those of us who have no choice I find this attitude upsetting as if it is something to be ashamed of.
Giylrs Brandreth has said it would be undignified for her to use one!

Thankfully my new kitten has already learnt to avoid me.

Animals are more intelligent than humans.

I think something that isn't coming through on this thread is why people don't wish to be seen using a wheelchair. It's because of the ableist view that disabled people, or those that use an aid, are somehow less than. This view is unconscious in most people, rather than being something expressed out loud. But ultimately, people getting older or otherwise becoming physically disabled see using an aid as showing weakness, or as a loss of independence.
Over the past year I have gone from needing no aids to using a rollator to using a powered folding wheelchair to leave the house. I too have avoided using my chair on occasion due to ableism, both from other people and internalised. I worry about the stares, the questions, people grabbing my chair to move me out of the way. And I also worry that people won't take me seriously, and have to deal with infantilisation on a regular basis.
However, it is essential that we recognise the unconscious biases that go into this kind of mindset. That way, we can work on them, both individually and as a society. And maybe one day using a wheelchair or other mobility aid will be a natural part of life, and won't need to be seen as something shameful or a sign of weakness by those of us who need it, either through age or the onset of a physical disability. After all, people who are born with physical disabilities requiring aids are not less than, so there should be no logical reason why we feel we don't want to look like them.

@Nellielephant

AIBU to be annoyed that the newspapers are reporting that the Queen does not want to be seen in a Wheelchair? For those of us who have no choice I find this attitude upsetting as if it is something to be ashamed of. Giylrs Brandreth has said it would be undignified for her to use one!

Isn't this the papers projecting. She has had a rough year and probably not well. I imagine she would like a quiet life.

@colouringfoxes

I think something that isn't coming through on this thread is why people don't wish to be seen using a wheelchair. It's because of the ableist view that disabled people, or those that use an aid, are somehow less than. This view is unconscious in most people, rather than being something expressed out loud. But ultimately, people getting older or otherwise becoming physically disabled see using an aid as showing weakness, or as a loss of independence. Over the past year I have gone from needing no aids to using a rollator to using a powered folding wheelchair to leave the house. I too have avoided using my chair on occasion due to ableism, both from other people and internalised. I worry about the stares, the questions, people grabbing my chair to move me out of the way. And I also worry that people won't take me seriously, and have to deal with infantilisation on a regular basis. However, it is essential that we recognise the unconscious biases that go into this kind of mindset. That way, we can work on them, both individually and as a society. And maybe one day using a wheelchair or other mobility aid will be a natural part of life, and won't need to be seen as something shameful or a sign of weakness by those of us who need it, either through age or the onset of a physical disability. After all, people who are born with physical disabilities requiring aids are not less than, so there should be no logical reason why we feel we don't want to look like them.

Well said.

@colouringfoxes

I think something that isn't coming through on this thread is why people don't wish to be seen using a wheelchair. It's because of the ableist view that disabled people, or those that use an aid, are somehow less than. This view is unconscious in most people, rather than being something expressed out loud. But ultimately, people getting older or otherwise becoming physically disabled see using an aid as showing weakness, or as a loss of independence. Over the past year I have gone from needing no aids to using a rollator to using a powered folding wheelchair to leave the house. I too have avoided using my chair on occasion due to ableism, both from other people and internalised. I worry about the stares, the questions, people grabbing my chair to move me out of the way. And I also worry that people won't take me seriously, and have to deal with infantilisation on a regular basis. However, it is essential that we recognise the unconscious biases that go into this kind of mindset. That way, we can work on them, both individually and as a society. And maybe one day using a wheelchair or other mobility aid will be a natural part of life, and won't need to be seen as something shameful or a sign of weakness by those of us who need it, either through age or the onset of a physical disability. After all, people who are born with physical disabilities requiring aids are not less than, so there should be no logical reason why we feel we don't want to look like them.

Extremely well put.

Thank you all for all your different viewpoints. You have changed my mind about how I think about it all now with regards to the Queen.
Still think Gyles Brandreth is an idiot!

Thanks Seneca and Thoosa ! I've had a lot of time to reflect on these things lately.
OP thank you so much for listening to the different opinions. Agree on Brandrith!

It is not the wheelchair that she will dislike but what it signifies for her.

I think there is a big difference between a younger person having a wheelchair and someone in their 90s getting to the stage of needing one.
It signifies something different.
For a younger person, the wheelchair is an aid to continue living a full life. This is not the same for someone in their 90s. At that age it becomes a symbol of their body declining.

She's a very proud independent woman who doesn't feel ready to sit in a wheelchair in public yet. Fair enough. My parents were exactly the same. They are both gone now. I did get my DDad into one of those awful hospital wheelchairs about 3 weeks before he died. It took some persuasion but he was pleased he did afterwards. So was I - we were late for his blood test, and he walked so slowly! He liked it so much that the following week when we went back for a CT scan he actually asked to go in one. Then 2 weeks later he died. Scan has diagnosed stage 4 pancreatic cancer

That proud attitude/mind over matter is what keeps them so good for so long, but of course the day will come where mind over matter is not enough to keep walking. Very sad.

@shouldhestay

It is not the wheelchair that she will dislike but what it signifies for her.

I think there is a big difference between a younger person having a wheelchair and someone in their 90s getting to the stage of needing one.
It signifies something different.
For a younger person, the wheelchair is an aid to continue living a full life. This is not the same for someone in their 90s. At that age it becomes a symbol of their body declining.

I agree. I think that's often true for younger people with progressive conditions too.

I suspect she just wants to be left alone in general at this point so the media should respect her wishes (fat chance, I know). She’s 96, husband died last year and she’s frail so probably feeling quite vulnerable. I don’t think she’s setting out to insult wheelchair users.

@Hellocatshome

I'm sure if she wasn't Queen and wouldn't get splashed all over the media in her wheelchair with people speculating when she will die she would be more than happy to be seen in her wheelchair. Surely you can see how her circumstances are different to that of members of the public who use wheelchairs.

I think this is more the issue. When we the public use a wheelchair for whatever reason, we aren't put on the front pages of newspapers with essentially a giant clock ticking down to our death. The media will be almost, or will be, putting bets on when she dies from the moment they get that picture. Pretty horrific way to end your life.

I’m sure it’s hard for the Queen to come to terms with using mobility aids. This is a woman who never even leaned on her husband’s arm. However it’s ironic to hear her described as “fiercely independent”. She has been dependent on servants her whole life. There will be plenty of 95 year olds still more truly independent than she has ever been.