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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The Queen and a Wheelchair

213 replies

Nellielephant · 21/03/2022 17:50

AIBU to be annoyed that the newspapers are reporting that the Queen does not want to be seen in a Wheelchair? For those of us who have no choice I find this attitude upsetting as if it is something to be ashamed of.
Giylrs Brandreth has said it would be undignified for her to use one!

OP posts:
Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 21/03/2022 19:56

@SenecaFallsRedux

The ableism on this thread is astounding. I think some of you need to visit the Franklin D. Roosevelt memorial in Washington DC and see the statue of him seated in his wheelchair. And then also see the children in wheelchairs rolling up to have their picture taken next to the president.

Of course, it is the Queen's choice. But it would be a much better choice for her to be willing to be seen in a wheelchair.

Better choice for who? Because apparently the better choice for her doesn't matter to you. If the Queen doesn't want to be seen in a wheelchair, there is nothing wrong with that. She's not saying anything negative about wheelchair users. If she's not making the choice you would like her to make, that's really not her issue.
Thoosa · 21/03/2022 19:57

@KittenKins you must have had the shoulders of a champion swimmer!

Honestly the year I used manual only was like doing ten hours’ of gardening a day but only using my arms. That and the palm callouses were hell, though I did get a collection of very nice vintage driving gloves to use!

DillDanding · 21/03/2022 19:58

She's really old. Do people really care if she uses a wheelchair or not?

To me, it implies she thinks we are all depending on her to be strong and not frail. I don't think anyone I know particularly cares one way or the other.

carefullycourageous · 21/03/2022 19:59

If the Queen doesn't want to be seen in a wheelchair, there is nothing wrong with that. She's not saying anything negative about wheelchair users. That depends why she doesn't want to be seen in a wheelchair. If it is because it is 'undignified' then that is a negative comment about wheelchair users IMO.

KittenKins · 21/03/2022 20:00

(posted too soon)

I think it's because I feel I look so much more disabled & people look more now than they use to. It's odd considering how many most disabled people are in the community these days.

I can understand the queen's opinion, considering her public position.

However, disability isn't something to be ashamed of, acceptance in society is important & she could help on this matter.

Cocycola · 21/03/2022 20:00

I can see what you are saying, I am not a wheelchair user myself, but a few close friends are and it is perfectly understandable that people who have no choice but to use a wheelchair might feel offended.

My dad is 85 with serious mobility problems but refuses to use any mobility aid because of what people will think. I worry for him constantly as he isn't far off a bad fall but just won't hear of a walking aid, and chooses to either endanger himself or isolate himself. As you said, some people have never had a choice, and this stubborness can be seen as offensive.

I know it is people's own choice if they use a walking aid or wheelchair, however as a practical person, I find it surprising how people are so adverse to helping themselves make life easier.

However, for the Queen, I do see that it will be harder for her with the country's eyes all on her and the press looking for a story abd speculating about her health.

Belladonna12 · 21/03/2022 20:01

@DillDanding

She's really old. Do people really care if she uses a wheelchair or not?

To me, it implies she thinks we are all depending on her to be strong and not frail. I don't think anyone I know particularly cares one way or the other.

I think it just implies she doesn't want people going on about it, photographing her and wondering if she's going to die soon.
Thoosa · 21/03/2022 20:01

@DillDanding

She's really old. Do people really care if she uses a wheelchair or not?

To me, it implies she thinks we are all depending on her to be strong and not frail. I don't think anyone I know particularly cares one way or the other.

This is not a friendly country to us wheelchair users.

If she stays home, fine. She’s an old lady, she’s earned the right to some peace.

If, OTOH, she uses a wheelchair but she and the palace contrive to hide her behind screens or in a tunnel as though wheelchair use is a shameful thing, not to be seen, then I think we have the right to be distinctly irritated about the message that sends from the monarchy.

BorisBooster · 21/03/2022 20:02

The newspaper's are reporting it so I'd take it with a pinch of salt.

If in her Christmas speech she says 'fuck the wheelchair' then that's a different matter.

Mangogogogo · 21/03/2022 20:02

I do think it’s quite sad she feels that we would somehow think she was frail or not strong anymore because i would like to think that wouldn't be the case but I feel like that’s the reasoning behind it. She declared herself that she would never abdicate because it is seen as a weakness, which we all know would not be true.
A few of my clients at work have had to start using wheelchairs and they struggle immensely at first. I was at a conference the other day where one person had been in a wheelchair her whole life and another who was new to it all and she understood for him how he felt and it absolutely wasn’t offensive at all, it was a lovely part of the day

DoobryWhatsit · 21/03/2022 20:03

@Hollyhead

I think it’s a sign of the awful ableist society we live in. I’ve learnt so much about this from following someone called Nina Tame on Instagram. Wheelchairs are just an aid and we should celebrate their existence. It is sad when people choose not to use one when their life would be otherwise enhanced. My grandad missed out on so much by not using a mobility scooter, he could have fitted so much more in to his later years if he’d just accepted he needed a bit of help!
Nina Tame has so completely opened my eyes to how awful we are as a society towards disabled people who are just trying to get in with their lives. She's fantastic (and absolutely gorgeous! Total girl crush)
KittenKins · 21/03/2022 20:04

Thoosa,

Exactly, every cloud has a silver lining ;)

Now I'm too weak so have a power chair, it's huge length wise, I need a 1.8m turning circle!

LottyD32 · 21/03/2022 20:04

With everything going on with Russia she probably also doesn't want the UK to appear unstable and therefore a soft target at the moment. Her bring seen in a wheelchair would start all sorts of speculation about her death.

She's also very strong and independent, so it will be hard for her to adjust to needing help.

carefullycourageous · 21/03/2022 20:04

photographing her and wondering if she's going to die soon the wheelchair doesn't change this aspect of her life at all

Thoosa · 21/03/2022 20:06

@KittenKins

Thoosa,

Exactly, every cloud has a silver lining ;)

Now I'm too weak so have a power chair, it's huge length wise, I need a 1.8m turning circle!

Sounds like a Rolls Royce! I hope it at least intimidated people into getting out of your way. (Can you tell I’m bitter about people who don’t get out of the bloody way? Wink)
waltzingparrot · 21/03/2022 20:10

I'd hate her to miss Prince Philip s memorial service because of it. Why can't they get her to her seat before the camera's are allowed to switch on.

MadameGazelleBand · 21/03/2022 20:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request

MorganKitten · 21/03/2022 20:15

Gyles Brandreth Is a silly little man.
Anyway, the Queen is meant to look powerful and in control. She has her job until she’s dead, think about that pressure for a moment. She won’t want to seem frail or weak, Phillip refused to sit down on that boat ride when he already had a UTI as he was in his military uniform. It’s tradition.

My mother ended up in a wheelchair after an accident paralysed her, she loathed it as she was still young and felt useless.

Blimecory · 21/03/2022 20:15

@waltzingparrot

I'd hate her to miss Prince Philip s memorial service because of it. Why can't they get her to her seat before the camera's are allowed to switch on.
Because the Queen is always the last to arrive. It’s not just about the cameras. The Queen would normally arrive after all the guests have been seated.
Belladonna12 · 21/03/2022 20:15

@carefullycourageous

photographing her and wondering if she's going to die soon the wheelchair doesn't change this aspect of her life at all
I think it will increase speculation as some will see it as a sign that she is is degenerating fast as they did when she started using a walking stick.
PoshPyjamas · 21/03/2022 20:16

I think she has done enough for the country without now being told she now has to be a bloody wheelchair ambassador

This!

godmum56 · 21/03/2022 20:20

@PoshPyjamas

I think she has done enough for the country without now being told she now has to be a bloody wheelchair ambassador

This!

this absolutely. he is as entitled to make her own choices as much as anyone else.
godmum56 · 21/03/2022 20:21

sorry, not doing gender nonsense, I mistyped, of couse it should be "she"

Seemssounfair · 21/03/2022 20:21

One wonders if they could order one, stick some wheels and a turbo engine in it.......

She is very capable of making her own decisions and it is absolutely her choice how she wants to be seen in public.

(I am not a royalist in any way and think the monarchy should end with the queen)

The Queen and a Wheelchair
DillDanding · 21/03/2022 20:26

I think she has done enough for the country without now being told she now has to be a bloody wheelchair ambassador

Not sure what she has done for the country tbh. But that's another discussion.