Can I refuse to have child home from school?

[GreenTeaMom]

So, for the last 3 weeks my daughter has been sent home from school. It tends to happen on exactly the same day every week when the teacher isn’t in and it’s the teaching assistants only and majority of the time, once my daughter is home they are absolutely fine and able to play and run around etc.

To give some background, my daughter is 7 and goes to an SEN school because of autism.

I have had to push back a lot of important meetings because of this. I have written in their journal today that unless vomiting or high temperature etc that they would have to try and remain in school because I don’t want them to then start building a reluctance going into school etc.

If the school ring me this week and just complain that my daughter ‘isn’t like their usual self’ can I refuse to have them home? What would happen if I say no?

Obviously if my daughter is actually unwell I would be the first parent to have her back at home, but I think there could potentially be a few things going on; firstly that my daughter has learnt how to behave in order to come home because the first time she got sent home it was on the day she knew her parcel was being delivered and that’s the first thing she asked for once she got home, and secondly I wonder if it’s a lack of competence on the teaching assistances behalf (there is 2-3 of them) because they tend to send her home on the days that the teacher isn’t in school…

I empathise. I ended up having to change my job to a lower paid position working evening & weekends when DS1 was at school.

If it wasn't the regular requests/demands to collect him (rarely ill as such, usually refusing to co-operate), it was meetings arranged with school and/or outside agencies at the drop of a hat. Always for times during school hours.

My DS was also at a SEN school at primary level and with a 1:1 TA at a mainstream high school. Apparently my request that they tried harder to manage his behaviour in school before sending him home was utterly unreasonable. As a child who found school excessively difficult - the social aspect rather than the academic - they really could not see that they were teaching him just how to get sent home!

@Allandnothing

No. School isn’t childcare. You’ll have to sort out other arrangements for when your child comes home, or look into a specialist school. If a child says they’re ill, then there’s not much a school can do. They can’t spare staff to sit with your child for a school Day.

Rubbish! They can access the child to see if there well enough to be at school.

Hi read your issue about SEN School and Teaching Assistants.

1. Go to ‘Council For Disabled Children’ who cover SEN. Copy and paste what you put on MumsNet message - very clear.
2. Also go to DfE on the link below with same information. You will be directed to the right area to properly resolve your issue - the best practice for your child. form.education.gov.uk/service/Contact_the_Department_for_Education

I work in a school and, in our case at least, we only phone home for parents to collect when the child doesn't feel they can stay at school or if they have something contagious or dangerous.

Our staff are well trained and get to know the kids very well. They know when a child is putting it on and when they're looking unwell. BUT we can't ignore a child if they say they feel sick all day. If we did, and it turns out it was something more serious, would you blame the school?

Schools can't win.

But if you genuinely feel they're not robust enough in helping your child stay at school when they can, then I'd advise talking to the Head.

@Gooseberrypies

I don’t get the people saying the TA’s aren’t paid enough to deal with this. Maybe if they think that they shouldn’t work in that job in a specialist SEN school then as opposed to illegally excluding a child?

Maybe they just shouldn’t be left with the responsibility of a class in the first place. It’s not that they aren’t capable, they might or might not be in this case, but if a school is leaving a TA in charge of a class then they should accept that a TA might be less willing or able to get an apparently struggling child through the day.

It’s for the school to take the blame if a child has been wrongly sent home, not a TA who was in a position they shouldn’t have been put in.

No. School isn’t childcare

Tell that to the job centre

If your daughter has autism and being sent home regularly it sounds as if they are not meeting her needs , maybe make an appointment to see the Senco and discuss the way forward , maybe join a parents group who have experience of autism as they can advise you of the your daughters rights too

@Allandnothing

No. School isn’t childcare. You’ll have to sort out other arrangements for when your child comes home, or look into a specialist school. If a child says they’re ill, then there’s not much a school can do. They can’t spare staff to sit with your child for a school Day.

School IS childcare. Why do people say this?

@Mumgonenuts2020

I think since Covid It started when my DD Age 8 went back to school the first week back it was sickness and then when I picked her up she was fine, but as the 48 Hour rule was in place, luckily I was working from home, but then DD wasted a day at home when she could be in School. I was advised to take her to the GP for a Blood Test age 8 to see if she had a gluten intolerance issue!! Due to virtual appointments this didn’t progress. Then in Year 4 up to now again she has been sent home on three or Four occasions for a cold in which she was sleepy and sickness for the first two back in September Year 4. The last one, I was on silent on my phone and they could not get hold of me so they rang my husband, in which they didn’t tell me when I went to pick her up, he ended up fuming with me as he had to abort a meeting and was on his way home!! This was Drama all round, it sounds like this is happening across all schools. I think sickness is being handled badly since Covid and now with Facebook it doesn’t help when it is plastered all over the Class Page saying their child has tested positive or has an upset stomach, in which I am testing her every other day and it just keeps coming up negative. I feel your pain, I didn’t have any of these issues with my DS who is now in Year 9 👍🥰

You think it's ok to send a child who's been sick back into school to infect all the other children?

Hmmm...

If I'm understanding the situation, the OPs daughter has learned that if she behaves in a certain way with her TAs, they'll send her home. Either she doesn't behave that way in front of her teacher, or her teacher can tell she's having it on.

I'd definitely speak to the teacher, OP. At the very least this should be turned in to an educational opportunity for the TAs. How to identify patterns of behaviour and to understand when you're being played.

I’m just wondering if there’s something that your child doesn’t like about the TA or if they’ve done something that your child doesn’t like. Seems to specifically happen when the TA is in charge? Might be worth speaking to your child and asking if there’s something they are worried about?

Don’t lookbackinanger 1 No I didn’t send her back for the other children to be infected.. I had to obey the rules!!

once my daughter is home they are absolutely fine and able to play and run around etc.

7 is a tricky age but what we do in our SEND secondary school if we think they’re just wanting to go home is send them home with work and their parents make home boring for them.
If possible try not to make coming home too fun she may end up missing her friends and not do it as much.

I would definitely speak to the school and say you think she knows how to play the TAs but you don’t want to risk it just incase she actually is ill.

They’re in a very difficult position. If a child is crying saying they’re really ill then it’s cruel to not believe them but she needs to also know that she can’t fake being ill and being sent home.

I’m an LSA in a SEND school working with lower primary children. If any of our children are out of sorts we deal with it. Usually we’ve had a conversation with parents or transport for any information for that day. Sometimes parents will email in and let us know anything relevant ie recently we had a girl lost her tooth and was unsettled. She’s non verbal so couldn’t tell anyone but mum thought it a good idea to let school know she may be out of sorts. Communication is key.
Also, just to add that teachers usually get a half day out of class for PPA so the class is run by LSAs and the children should be used to this pattern as it is regular. Also the LSAs in class should make it a point to get to know each child well enough to know when something isn’t right vs when the child is playing up.
My suggestion would be to speak to the teacher/LSA/head/deputy head and raise your concerns. See if something specific happens on that day other than the teacher being out that might trigger a similar response.

That's a difficult one. In my case, I have been wanting to bring my son home but the school insisted to keep him.
Having said that my son does seem to sometimes pretend of being sick and as soon as he is home..he is perfectly fine.
Could it be that your daughter does not like school that much and just feels sick in that environment?
I know my son lost the excitement to go back to school after the lockdowns.

@Allandnothing

No. School isn’t childcare. You’ll have to sort out other arrangements for when your child comes home, or look into a specialist school. If a child says they’re ill, then there’s not much a school can do. They can’t spare staff to sit with your child for a school Day.

Read the first post again. The child is already at a specialist school.

School IS childcare. Why do people say this?

I don't know either. Who else is responsible for the child during the hours they're in school? Of course it's childcare.

The school have a duty of care to meet the needs of your child. Is that happening? If not, what are they school putting in place to make sure their needs are being met?

It’s very odd that an sen school send kids home and can’t cope with 20 mins of crying/ behaviour etc and can’t see through an obvious plot to go home

Also not on that a qualified teacher isn’t in the room ? I know lots that are awesome but surely that’s a union / health and safety matter ??
I tell nursery I’m in a meeting an hour away which give me time to prepare.

@toomuchlaundry

Why do they have a day when a teacher isn’t in? Is this a temporary arrangement?

It will be half day of PPA (compulsory time for all teachers and often taken as a fill half day session rather than an hour here and there) and then the other half could be for a range of reasons: if ECT (new teacher) they get an extra half day, SLT (senior teachers in the leadership team often have an extra half day out of class), an additional role (SENCo for example) may be done in this time, etc.

@Allandnothing

No. School isn’t childcare. You’ll have to sort out other arrangements for when your child comes home, or look into a specialist school. If a child says they’re ill, then there’s not much a school can do. They can’t spare staff to sit with your child for a school Day.

It is a legal requirement to attend school. No it isn't childcare, it I'd an education and children should not be sent home without good reason. I would speak to the local authority EWO if the school do not help. A child with SEN should have an EHCP and attendance should be part of it as well as dealing with issues like crying in school.

@Berthatydfil

This could be considered an illegal exclusion. Make a record of all the days/dates and times to show that there is a pattern and go in to see the head teacher armed with this information.

This

@icelollycraving

Tricky. My son’s school never phone my dh, always me. Totally baffles them that I can’t collect immediately as you know, I’m at work an hour away. Was only when I said once, I’m at work, just like you that it dawned on them. Could you say you’re at a meeting a bit of a distance away?

Yes, without you pointing out that parents work, school staff would have no idea. Thank goodness for you.

Also not on that a qualified teacher isn’t in the room ? I know lots that are awesome but surely that’s a union / health and safety matter ??

Normal.
No.

hth.

If nursery or school sent either of mine home I'd want a bit more detail than "not their usual self".

Express your concern that she's missing out on Education (the bit they're obliged to do) and explain to them that when she has been sent home she has been fine. Explain that if you kept her off and gave the reason she's not her usual self they'd be chasing you about her absence.

I presume she's only sent home after afternoon registration when her absence won't count against their attendance scores.

I'm a governor and attendance is back under the spotlight.