Help keep me company please

[notntabitmad]

Sorry not aibu.

Had a massive bust up. The end final fuck up in Italy

He basically said I was unfit to be a mother. They should take my kids off me. I should be tranquilliser.

I've bpd. I really really struggle with abandonment. He kept saying he was going to go.

Anyway. Ended up him kicking me out of the hotel room at 2.30am. I've managed to get a flight. But it's not till lunchtime. Got a taxi to the airport and the doors are shut till 3.30am anyway! So I'm stuck outside in the freezing cold. Feeling super emotional. And I took diazepam to sleep and now I feel spaced out. And I'm literally on my own in the middle of fucking nowhere.

I really hope that soon you will be home safely, able to have a good rest and start recovering. And soon you'll see your lovely children! Oh, and that Turd-man can fuck right off with what he was saying about you as a mother.

But I basically freak and can't cope with abandonment. So this is my worst nightmare.

He threw you out, in a strange country where you don’t speak the language, and that would tough for anyone but you made it through. You got yourself to the airport, you booked a flight, you got on that flight, and you’re back. You’re a fighter and stronger than you realised x

How are you feeling OP? Hope you are at home.

@SockFluffInTheBath

But I basically freak and can't cope with abandonment. So this is my worst nightmare.

He threw you out, in a strange country where you don’t speak the language, and that would tough for anyone but you made it through. You got yourself to the airport, you booked a flight, you got on that flight, and you’re back. You’re a fighter and stronger than you realised x

Just what I was thinking

@notntabitmad you are not the one with problems here except those caused by him. Hope you are home safe and resting. You should be glad to be a flight away from such an awful individual.
Let us know you’re ok if you can.

Thank you. Yes I'm fine. I'm currently still in bed with a tea.

I got my stuff. He has cameras inside so was obviously watching me and activated the microphone to ask what I was going upstairs for. He set the alarm off a few times too I presume to frighten me. But honestly I'm just glad it's all done.

No he was a dick to do kick me out especially knowing I was zoning out on Valium. But I do appreciate I have anxiety and I do react strongly. However I was married for 13 years. And I was fine. I felt safe because my exh is a good man.

I just remembered a few weeks ago I finally got offered some counselling for some really horrific stuff that happened years ago. It stirred things up and I was quite upset. He said maybe I should not do the counselling as it was making me stressed and upsetting HIM. he has the audacity to say I'm selfish yet couldn't see the problem with that?! He would always talk about how my abuse affected him and upset him. And I felt guilty?!

I can't believe it all really. Anyway I have a nice rest of the weekend planned. Kids are coming over in a bit for hugs and mayhem then going to stay with a friend by the sea for a few days. It's lovely out. I just feel me again.

Thank you all. You're amazing

Ugh, he’s vile! I’m so glad that you have all your stuff. Now, here’s to the rest of your life! Block that scummy shit, and get some R&R over these next few days. Xx

So glad you are home safely, enjoy your day with your kids!

Take care of yourself x

Wow OP what a piece of work he is you’re amazing though, really. To cope with all of that and keep going, you really have done brilliantly. Enjoy your time by the sea.

Well done OP. Enjoy your time by the sea.