Help keep me company please

[notntabitmad]

Sorry not aibu.

Had a massive bust up. The end final fuck up in Italy

He basically said I was unfit to be a mother. They should take my kids off me. I should be tranquilliser.

I've bpd. I really really struggle with abandonment. He kept saying he was going to go.

Anyway. Ended up him kicking me out of the hotel room at 2.30am. I've managed to get a flight. But it's not till lunchtime. Got a taxi to the airport and the doors are shut till 3.30am anyway! So I'm stuck outside in the freezing cold. Feeling super emotional. And I took diazepam to sleep and now I feel spaced out. And I'm literally on my own in the middle of fucking nowhere.

I'm
Doped up

Put your wallet, phone and passport somewhere safe (bra?) and have a nap.

So sorry you're going through this. Just a few more hours and you'll be back in the UK.

Is the airport big enough to have a quiet room or some kind of prayer ir multi faith room? May be a little more peaceful for you until you can go through security?

OP can you buy lounge access? It’s not usually much and you might be able to find a quiet corner there once you’ve checked in. You might even get it with your bank account?

Just tell work about your laptop, if he’s this abusive it’s not safe for you mentally to go there. They will be able to block it and get you a new one.

I read in another post the other day that the worst thing for a man is that women talk to each other. Keep talking to us. Let us talk to you.

Also, you say he has said a lot to you about your children etc. However, I bet he has no idea how social services works. But he does know how to upset you. Hang in there. Keep talking to us. Is there a chapel you can take refuge in? Sending love.

Just wanted to show some support. You've managed to pack , leave , book flights, in the middle of the night when you are upset and having taken a sleeping pill. That's amazing.

Thank you. You're all amazing

I've had to go and have a cry in the toilets

I'm just shaking. I think it's tiredness adrenaline. Everything

There is a business lounge but I can't get my baggage checked in yet. So I'm stuck here.

There's no bag drop. And I can't find faith centre. It's quite small

I don't know what he will do about my kids. He wanted to meet them way before I felt comfortable. And then sort of acted jealous if I gave them more attention

He said it wouldn't look good for custody. Me being sectioned. My ex and I are Finally divorcing after three years. But it's amicable. Wee doing it now for financial reasons. But we get on great and we're doing it through an amicable solicitor so we're not fighting each other. He hated that. He hated that we were still friends

I haven't been able to read entire thread but wanted to send support. How much of valium did you take? I know it feels hopeless now but be proud of how much you have already accomplished and we are all here. Try to not drink any alcohol if you have valium if your system as it will enhance the effect. Sending you so much love and commiseration. I could bet anything the kind of treatment is further intensifying your fear of abandonment.

Where are your children now?

Also if you can manage it, document everything that happened (even as voice notes to yourself) so you can keep track of events. That way you can have a reference point as to not forget what he is putting you through. As painful as it is, this will pass. Buy yourself something nice and keep reminding yourself good riddance to bad rubbish. If anything he should be sectioned for this kind of reckless abuse. Anything could have happened to you. Be proud you have made it this far.

This all sounds so hard OP but you’re doing great. I have you have some support when you get back to the UK 💐

Ah so he’s not DCs’ dad he’s just a jealous idiot. That makes a big difference OP. Please engage with your MH support team when you get home, you need good people on your side and it will absolutely not go against you in a custody fight (doesn’t sound like there is one anyway, the nasty bastard is just trying to upset you). Please do not engage with that scumbag again, don’t let him apologise. He’s a bully and you deserve better. Take care of yourself and safe trip home

Thank you. You have such brilliant advice.

I'm just trying to keep moving. If I stop I think I'll collapse. It's a lot busier now.

I wish I didn't have to drive later. I'm in no fit state.

Sorry. My kids are with their dad. He sent me a picture last night of them. One had mufti and the other was playing in the garden. Just want to give them a hug. I miss them so much.

This all sounds so hard OP. You are doing so well, you have had some great advice here. You are certainly not alone

I’d also forget about the laptop. Tell work the truth, that it’s in an unsafe place and they can go and get it off him. Not worth the risk. Either that or say it got lost on the flight home- I normally wouldn’t lie but needs must. Not worth the risk as this man sounds dangerous. Just a few hours now until you get home. You can do it.

Hi OP

Hope you're ok.

The man who kicked you out is a nasty abusive bully and I hope you've blocked him.

Secondly, by BPD do you mean borderline? I know some people use those initials for bipolar. I have borderline and there is NO way they will take your kids off you if you ask for help. Your GP has to refer to social services if you are in crisis but they would only do that as a last resort. So please don't avoid asking for help for fear of losing them.

I hope you've found a cup of tea (doesn't tea solve 99.99% of problems or at least help make them less scary!) and that you get home soon.

This guy has kicked you out and abandoned you. Kick him to the kerb and end the relationship.

I’m glad it’s light now and you’re safe. Drink lots of water. Deep breaths. Make plans for future - easy steps and goals. Good luck.

It's not a work laptop. Sorry. It's mine. But I need it for work. I'm freelance. If I don't work I don't get paid. I'm panicking

Yes. It is borderline. But I've been seeking help for years. I've posted on the mental health board. But I basically freak and can't cope with abandonment. So this is my worst nightmare. I can't speak Italian. I'm so far from home. I have a history of abuse. I just want to feel safe.

Thank you All. I really can't tell you how much this means to me. I don't know what I'd do with out this

That abusive man can't take your children off you because he's not their dad, don't worry. When you return home, please let someone know what he did to you. It might worth letting the police know on non emergency number that he physically threw you out of a hotel room at 2am. I know it was in Italy but you can say that he's verbally threatened you, that you feel unsafe and you don't know what repercussions you'll face when he returns. What he did was disgusting and abusive, abandoning you in a foreign country in the middle of the night.

At the end of the day you’re the one doing this so realise you have inner strength. Ditch the boyfriend, leave Italy and this experience behind, forget men for a while and focus on you and kids.

Op hope you are safe - please don’t drive when you get back if you don’t feel up to it. Think of your kids and the other road users. Hopefully you’ll get some rest on the plane and feel better.

They can help you get your laptop back.

That's true, check into a premier Inn or hotel and sleep it off before driving home.