DD4 left swimming lesson unsupervised

[swimdisaster]

My DD aged 4 left her swimming class and went to the toilet unsupervised. It was a new teacher who made no effort to let me know she needed to go (I was sat on other side of pool watching older DD). As soon as I saw she was not in her swimming group I rushed around and another parent had found her very distressed in the toilet by herself. The manager on duty took an account of what happened and I've followed up with an email. He said that someone would be in touch. I've booked my DC in at another centre in the same chain for lessons from next week. For completeness, when I raised it with the teacher (it was the teacher's first lesson) she said she was busy watching the other children and that I should have noticed. As soon as I saw DD missing from the lesson I panicked (as worried she'd gone under) so it must have been less than a minute she was alone.

What sort of response would you expect and AIBU by taking my children out of that centre?

I know lots of 4yos (including mine) are fine using the toilets at nursery/school/friends' houses by themselves but I don't know many parents who'd be happy for their 4yos to take themselves off to a public toilet by themselves (especially one near water).

In the context if a swimming pool I definitely did. By the sounds of it the pool has more than one lesson going on so is likely to be closed to the public for swimming at that time?!

@swimdisaster

From what the other teacher told me, she was sat on the side of the pool outside my line of sight. The toilets are the other side of the lockers and I had to walk around the pool. She could have easily done that in less than a minute, I didn't time it

I wouldn't expect the class teacher to ignore the other kids but she made no effort to even ask a lifeguard to find me and it's a lesson only session with 3-4 lifeguards and 5-6 teachers in a 25m pool in different sections. The previous teacher managed to do that.

Would you really expect a four year old to use a public toilet unsupervised? She couldn't come to me as the seating is the other side of the pool, accessed through the foyer.

In this set up, I’d expect the parent to be with the youngest child.

I'd expect an apology from the centre and reiterating to all the children that they shouldn't be leaving the pool to go to the toilet during their lesson
that they should never leave the poolside until the teacher has told them too
and that they must go to the toilet before their lesson

To be honest I'm not sure the teacher really did anything wrong - she told the child to sit and wait.

Staff (sounds like in particular, this new member) to be made aware not to allow a child to leave the side of the pool until their parent has noticed them.

The staff member didn't allow the child to leave the side of the pool. She told OP's DD to sit at the side of the pool, OP's DD disobeyed her.

This whole problem seems to have been caused by OP not paying attention and OP's DD being naughty, and OP is trying to blame the new teacher instead just because she's an easy target.

Hi op , I would expect the centre to send you the procedures for children going to the toilet during lessons.
You can then determine if they followed there own procedures.
I would then expect them to amend them according if they are inadequate.
I would also speak to my child about following instructions from the teacher, who obviously thought she would stay sat safety on the poolside.

You’ve made your complaint. It is noted. Not much else to do about it. If you’re that nervous maybe private lessons would be best.

I would probably expect a response that goes along these lines:

"Dear XXX

I'm sorry this happened....

Our policy is....

Therefore we adhered or didn't adhere to policy....

We hope this clarifies....

Regards...."

Without knowing what the policy is (which you'll hopefully have read and signed before commencing lessons) it's hard to say what the response will be like.

If the onus is on the pool staff to supervise children using the toilets then of course they're at fault and will hopefully apologise and put steps in place to minimise risks of it happening again.

If the onus is on parents then it's your fault you weren't supervising sufficiently and that your daughter took herself away from the class.

Once you have the policy, then we can say what we'd expect to see in any response.

To be honest I wouldn't let her out of my sight anyway. If there was somewhere to sit where I could see both children that's where I would be, but if not I'd definitely prioritise the younger child.

These classes are notorious for parents coming for a social gathering and sitting with parents they want to chat to rather than keeping an eye of their little ones which is what they should be doing.

You have to impress upon your child that she should never wander off herself. The teacher has only one set of eyes, she'd put her where she was safe and observing children in the pool who are arguably at more risk. You unfortunately were looking elsewhere and your daughter wandered off.

I’m sorry but I’m with the teacher although she should have tried harder to get your attention to accompany your DD to the toilet and not let her go on her own. She surely couldn’t have left all the other children in the pool while she took your DD to the toilet so what was she supposed to do? I suggest you pay more attention to your youngest DC during swimming lessons with an occasional glance to your older DC to avoid this in future and make sure you take them to the toilet before their lesson.

At 4, I’d be expecting parents to be fully watching and supervising their children during swimming lessons. YABU.

I think the issue is with your daughters behaviour. Leaving on her own when she'd been asked to wait was really dangerous.

But I would also expect a 4yo to be able to go to the toilet alone, unless the door is particularly tricky or heavy.

The teacher and life guard are being paid to supervise and teach the children

the lifeguard is not responsible - the lifeguard is there to stop the kids drowning, not find parents for toilet trips.

I am more on the fence about the teacher. But anyway you've moved to another centre, so problem solved. And get your dd to go to the loo before the lesson in future.

a lesson only session with 3-4 lifeguards are you sure some of them aren't water helpers ? That sounds like a lot of lifeguards for a 25m pool!

But actually that has made me think - our pool has water helpers and I imagine they take the kids to the loo if they need to go (in our pool the loos are right next to the pool in the changing room but you can't see them from poolside and they are underneath where a parent would sit).

Ended up poolside with DD only to be told off by lifeguards. Told them that if they’d been doing their jobs properly the situation wouldn’t have arisen

well you told them wrong. Lifeguards are not childminders. However, if you explained what you were doing it was ridiculous of them to tell you off.

I'm laughing at the naive idea that swimming teachers get any kind of induction or training or insight in to company policy.

I've taught for quite a few companies now, and there is NOTHING.

First shift at my current company. They checked I had my qualifications. Yes. Information given - 'You start at 4pm' that was it. It. Big company. I tried to contact them - what stage was I teaching, in the water or out, ratios, names of children, where was the equipment - received no response.

I blagged the first shift, and learnt through other teachers on the job.

@SevenWaystoLeave

Staff (sounds like in particular, this new member) to be made aware not to allow a child to leave the side of the pool until their parent has noticed them.

The staff member didn't allow the child to leave the side of the pool. She told OP's DD to sit at the side of the pool, OP's DD disobeyed her.

This whole problem seems to have been caused by OP not paying attention and OP's DD being naughty, and OP is trying to blame the new teacher instead just because she's an easy target.

Naughty is a bit harsh. By the sound of it, the poor mite really needed the toilet all of a sudden, and no one could accompany her fast enough.

It's not as if she was in an open shopping centre full of strangers and ran away. The swimming pool should be reasonably safe, the toilets weren't that far away, and the teacher obviously knew where DD would be. A child desperate for the loo who suddenly vanished was obviously heading to the loo.

I do agree though that the OP should have been focussing on the younger DC if not capable of going to the toilet alone.

OP, before you go in demanding answers I would put yourself in the teachers shoes.

1. your DD should have toileted immediately before getting in the pool to avoid her having to get out half way through a lesson
2. assume it is another child getting out, leaving your child in the water- who would you rather the teacher keep an eye on?
3. the teacher told your DD to wait and she didn’t- Should the teacher choose to watch a child on the side or the other 5/6/7 children still in the water?
4. You could have been watching and weren’t despite being distracted by only 1 other child rather than a class full.

I think you need to reassess before deciding to apportion blame.

I don’t think the teacher necessarily did anything wrong by asking your daughter to sit on the side and wait but the pool’s systems failed. Someone (whether the teacher, a lifeguard, parent etc) should have spotted her going off on her own.

At my pool for the little ones there was a very clear handoff between the lifeguard and the parent in these circumstances. The 3/4 year olds were not allowed to wander from the teaching pool along the main pool to the changing village. They were always accompanied by the lifeguard to meet the parent for toilet trips . Older children are different but the under 5s do need more careful supervision. My daughter (despite going to the loo straight before) often needed a toilet trip during her lesson as a 3yo so this is something we did many many times.

I work in a leisure centre.

There is a set of safety procedures that the staff should be following. So the duty manager should have checked that this was done and if not reprimanded whoever was at fault. (Could be the lifeguards).

I would expect the duty manager to apologise and say that they have reminded all staff to follow the correct procedures.

Leisure centre staff are mostly very young, inexperienced and very badly paid. They are usually very very nice though

.

I'd ask what their risk assessment is for children needing to leave the pool- injury, meltdown, toilet etc. Either they need a set up where parents/carers are in ear shot or spare staff to support. My ds swimming has 1 instructor and 2 assistants per 6 kids.

Why was she distressed in the toilet? Surely she'd just use it and leave again. Sounds like she was distressed by everyone making such a sodding fuss.

@JustLyra

The new teacher should have informed parents that the way of doing things has changed.

I’d expect the pool to clarify to parents clearly what the procedure is for children needing the toilets and there to be consistency in the staff.

They also need to review the procedures because a 4yo should not be able to slip away unnoticed

A thousand times this.

Whether the situation, there should be a policy. If parents are expected to take the kids - which is perfectly reasonable in itself - they should be a clearly notified of this. I’m quite sure that if op had been informed that the policy had changed and her small child being left unattended by the side of a swimming pool alone means that she needs the loo, she would have been a bit more alert to the possibility. As this isn’t the case, there should be a process in place to ensure that children of this age are not left to their own devices. There isn’t any such policy and as a result a four year old was left unattended and took herself to the loo which is not acceptable.

Given some of the comments you’d think there was no point in having any form of safeguarding because four year olds should always do as they are told and parents should always be fluttering around through extra-curriculur activities in case the kids happen to wander off. The whole point of safeguarding is to plan and mitigate for minor disruptions such as toilet visits. If they can’t manage this effectively then they shouldn’t be dealing with small children.