Elderly parents on a sofa bed, is it ok?

[Letsgobacktothenineties]

Stressing out a bit as to where to put my parents.
We live abroad and they visit us two-three times per year. They were always in the spare room with a nice, double bed. That’s now going to be our toddler DD’s room. We sold the bed and are currently painting it to get ready.
We only gave her bedroom and ours.
I thought of getting a small sofa bed to put in our bedroom as a sofa and into DD’s room as a sofa bed for them when they come to stay (Dd would sleep with us in our room)
Does this sound ok? They’re late 60’s/early 70’s. Can’t think of any other option.
Have offered them our bedroom before, large room with en-suite and terrace, but mum doesn’t want to because our dog sleeps on our bed 🤷🏻‍♀️She obviously wouldn’t whilst they were here and obviously sheets washed etc
She was disappointed when I said we were selling the large double bed as I have a small child’s single for our Dd and said can she not sleep in the double bed, it was huge and wanted her to have her own bed!
Where would you comfortably put them?

@OstrichFeathers

www.ikea.com/ie/en/p/hemnes-day-bed-frame-with-3-drawers-white-90349326/

This is very comfortable I know, I sleep on it when dh is snoring like a warthog. The second part of the bed pulls out to a good sized double.

I highly recommend this bed too! Have it in a spare bedroom. Ideal for guests, and I have tested it too The drawers are massive so a lot of storage space underneath.

If the above isn't an option, I would recommend getting a sofa bed for the living room. I have corner sofa bed and it is one of the best and most practical furniture I own.

I have it in my spare bedroom * it was meant to say!

We are in the same situation; living abroad and no spare room, though my parents never come for more than a week. We have two boys who were in a very big room together and my parents used to sleep on the sofa bed in with them when they came. It was an expensive one, as we wanted it to be comfortable, but it wasn’t that comfortable and I’m not sure I could have handled it for two weeks.

We’re in a different apartment now and the boys are older and have a room each; still no spare room though! Parents haven’t been for ages bc of covid etc but are planning to soon; I think youngest ds will come in with us and they will have his room; one in his bed, one on a folding guest bed I bought (like you get in hotels - like a proper single bed; solid and with a thick proper mattress. My frail 88 MIL sleeps on it and is very comfortable).

In your position I would go for the trundle bed option - sorry if it’s already been posted, but friends of mine had this one www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/hemnes-day-bed-frame-with-3-drawers-white-90349326/ in her daughter’s room. It looked good and is a decent height.

Ok, now I see it has been posted already! Well, it gets another vote from me!

@Letsgobacktothenineties

They’ve always sort of classed it as their room, my dad even leaves his clothes in the wardrobe when he goes home..but now that wardrobe will be changed for Dd

They're going to have to start classing it as your DC's room! How can it be 'theirs' when they stay a few weeks a year?! Sorry - they are being unreasonable. Your DC comes first :)

Hi op , perinatal I would get a blow up bed . You and DH can bunk in with DD or in the living room. Your parents will just have to accept your room and double bed . Think they need to accept your daughter now has her own room and have been extremely lucky so far to have there own room but things have changed. It’s only for two weeks.

Haven't read whole thread so not sure if anyone has suggested IKEA Hemnes bed ? It's a single day bed with second bed which pulls out and storage. My dd had this in her room and it was really good

Oops see others have suggested that but would also recommend. It was ideal for us - and very comfy

My mum does this when visiting. However, my mum came with me to choose said sofa bed when I bought it to ensure comfort for her.

Couldn't you dad have the sofa bed and your mum have your dd's bed? See how it goes?

Sofa beds are always small, uncomfortable and really only for for one person or two very small/short people for one or two nights.
Trundle beds would work. You lose the storage space under the bed though

I think it depends on what you mean by a "small sofa bed". As with anything you get what you pay for. If it would be the sort that's basically a foam mattress on the floor then yabvu to expect anyone to use it for more than an odd night, if you mean a full double sized, properly sprung one that's a decent height from the floor then maybe that would work - but it's going to be expensive.

On the other hand your parents are unreasonable to expect you to keep a double bed for their use at the expense of your child having their own bed and room. Find them a nice affordable b&b or holiday let nearby.

When my parents who are early 70s stay with me, I give them my bed and I sleep on the sofa bed in the lounge. Could you do that?

@Letsgobacktothenineties We have the exact problem with my parents.
They are in their mid 70’s. They visit a few times a year for a night because they live too far away to just come for the day, which would be my preference!

We have our first baby on the way, and the day we told them about the pregnancy we mentioned in conversation that we’ll have to rethink some things in our two bedroom flat and get rid of the double bed which is in our “spare” room, as it will become the baby’s room.
My mum got really shirty saying “well we won’t be able to stay then!”
I stopped that from the off. I just gave her a really baffled look and told her we obviously have limited space and have to prioritise the people who live here 100% of the time over visitors.

If it helps we are thinking of either a small click clack sofa bed or, probably more likely, one of the hemnes day beds from IKEA in the baby’s room for guests.
We can put cushions and cuddly toys on it for day to day use, then use it for occasional overnight visitors and bring our baby in with us, then when the baby is bigger use it as their actual bed.
It might sound a bit miserable but I find my parents hard work when they visit. I don’t really want them coming here loads when we are adjusting to having a small baby so it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if it puts them off a bit!

Why are you bending over backwards to accommodate their wants? Put your DD first. Furnish and decorate her room however you and she want and then TELL your parents they'll either have to get a hotel or sleep downstairs. If they can't comprehend that it's vital for your DD to have her own space that she doesn't have to give up when her grandparents stay, then why would you want them there at all?

I hear ya - we had planned to keep the double bed for our daughter to use in the second bedroom - but we've since gotten rid of it as we needed the space for her toys and her drawers and stuff and the bed took up all the floor space! we got a fouton instead in her room for guests and we also have a sofa bed in the living room now!

My parents come to stay regularly too - and we will see how they get on with either sofa bed or fouton - they can have our room if they like also !

Those are the choices

why should you keep a big bed just for when your parents come a few times a year ffs

Just to clarify about the dog, she wouldn’t be upstairs on our bed if they stayed, she’s not allowed upstairs at night when they come. My mum hates the thought of her having been there and shedding hair 🤷🏻‍♀️She’s not even a hairy dog and obviously sheets etc washed.
The IKEA Hemnes bed is lovely but too big and bulky for the room, I’ve seen friends ones and it’s too big.
The options look like the IKEA trundle one with a bed underneath (although very low 😬) or a large blow up, are these comfortable enough? Haven’t seen them where we are, maybe on Amazon? Never thought of a blow up bed as thought they’d be crappy, but if comfy, it would be the ideal solution as we could store it away in the cupboard after use.

Our only spare bed is a sofa bed. We bought a memory foam mattress topper for it from Amazon and it's really comfy now. It just rolls up and goes in the loft when we aren't using it

Large blow up . Tell parents it's your room or a hotel.

I’m sorry but the sense of entitlement is absolutely awful. Get them a decent blow up mattress if they don’t want the doggified proper bed. We have one for guests as no spare room and it works well, they get the dining room to themselves and not had any complaints. Your poor daughter should absolutely not be getting turfed out of HER ROOM for guests, whoever they are.

Ok, looking at blow ups, they’re a lot more reasonable and would be the easiest option for us 100%, but would they be comfy? Does it seem like a rubbish thing to do?
Does that need a sheet or just duvet and pillows?

amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B002MQKYC4?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title]]

Ours is about 30cm deep, very comfy and it’s about 9 years old now. You do need a pump for it though or you’ll be there all day! We throw a sheet on the bottom with a quilt and pillows.

Never thought of a blow up bed as thought they’d be crappy, but if comfy, it would be the ideal solution as we could store it away in the cupboard after use.

Genuinely I find them very comfortable - more so than some proper mattresses - and I have back problems so I'm a bit fussy about these things!

Trick is to get one that's one big pocket of air, not a series of sausages. Then blow it up fully, and let out maybe 5% of the air, unless they like a really firm mattress.

I would buy a single bed that converts to a double bed.