Elderly parents on a sofa bed, is it ok?

[Letsgobacktothenineties]

Stressing out a bit as to where to put my parents.
We live abroad and they visit us two-three times per year. They were always in the spare room with a nice, double bed. That’s now going to be our toddler DD’s room. We sold the bed and are currently painting it to get ready.
We only gave her bedroom and ours.
I thought of getting a small sofa bed to put in our bedroom as a sofa and into DD’s room as a sofa bed for them when they come to stay (Dd would sleep with us in our room)
Does this sound ok? They’re late 60’s/early 70’s. Can’t think of any other option.
Have offered them our bedroom before, large room with en-suite and terrace, but mum doesn’t want to because our dog sleeps on our bed 🤷🏻‍♀️She obviously wouldn’t whilst they were here and obviously sheets washed etc
She was disappointed when I said we were selling the large double bed as I have a small child’s single for our Dd and said can she not sleep in the double bed, it was huge and wanted her to have her own bed!
Where would you comfortably put them?

My link failed, it’s this:

Why don’t you give them your room, and they sleep on the sofa bed in your toddler’s room?

I'd get a day bed with a single trundle underneath - Ikea do a couple and put some fairy lights and a lovely bedding and they look gorgeous for a little girl's room. Plus because they have sides don't feel quite so exposed or vast as a normal single. They convert to 2 single beds (some become a double) but ether perfect for grandparents and ideal for when she starts having sleepovers.

I think any of the options you are suggesting are fine OP - whether it's a sofa bed or a trundle bed in DDs room, that's fine for a couple of weeks . If your parents are fit and healthy still a lot of people that age are still going camping so a sofa bed should be fine.

If I was your mum I would be really grateful you were offering to give your own bedroom up - it sounds wonderful.

I think your parents are being totally unreasonable about your DDs bedroom though - I can't believe that people would think like this .

It's strange your mum will spend two weeks in the house with the dog but not sleep in a room just because the dog has slept there previously.

As @demotedreally suggested I would get a bed with a trundle to put in your daughter's room. As an older person myself there is no way I could sleep on a sofa bed without another mattress on top (although that could be an option?) However, are you suggesting that they should sleep in there with your daughter? I wouldn't like that. And I couldn't afford to stay in a hotel for two weeks.

But while the GPs are nice and comfy in DDs room on a truckle or whatever what is the displaced daughter supposed to make do with sleeping on every time they visit for 2 weeks? Is she to remove her clothes from her wardrobe to make space for the GPs clothes? Is she allowed in her room to get her toys and books? Where does she go if she has a friend over?

My DH is in that age group, but I'm not. We'd have no problem sleeping on a sofa bed.

Have you looked at something like this OP www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/hemnes-day-bed-w-3-drawers-2-mattresses-white-asvang-firm-s09428106/

Your daughter can use it as her regular bed, it extends into a double when needed and has storage.

Would this be ok?
Something like one of these?
My only thought is that my mum does have arthritis in her neck, would the bed be too soft 🤷🏻‍♀️
It would be ideal if we could go down this route

Looks perfect to me , read the reviews and go for the best one . You can always get a mattress topper to make it firmer and higher.

Our Dd will come in with us in our bed for now, but as she gets older, it will pose more of a problem…blow up single for Dh or I in our room and her and one of us in our double bed?
I’m not sure about going in her room…that’s a hard one, will it be classed as their room
whilst they stay as all their things will be there or can she go and play as usual 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Letsgobacktothenineties

Our Dd will come in with us in our bed for now, but as she gets older, it will pose more of a problem…blow up single for Dh or I in our room and her and one of us in our double bed? I’m not sure about going in her room…that’s a hard one, will it be classed as their room whilst they stay as all their things will be there or can she go and play as usual 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is why you need to draw a line in the sand now before the GPs get used to everyone doing musical chairs for their visits.

Just go with your current plan.
If your DP's don't like it, they'll let you know.
Your DD is 3.5 and has her own room. This surely isn't a surprise for your DP's?? They are guests, your DD isn't!

@Letsgobacktothenineties

Would this be ok? Something like one of these? My only thought is that my mum does have arthritis in her neck, would the bed be too soft 🤷🏻‍♀️ It would be ideal if we could go down this route

When fully inflated ours is rock hard, but as a pp said you can let a little air out for comfort.

@Letsgobacktothenineties

Would this be ok? Something like one of these? My only thought is that my mum does have arthritis in her neck, would the bed be too soft 🤷🏻‍♀️ It would be ideal if we could go down this route

That's the sort of thing I'm thinking of. Beware of the ones where they can only be filled up using an electric pump that takes hours to charge up and can't be used just by plugging it into the wall. I spent a singularly uncomfortable night on one that only achieved half fill before the battery gave up...! Mine has a foot pump which obviously removes that potential issue.

There's something of a myth that soft mattresses are bad for your back - they're not - but if you mum prefers a firmer mattress you can just pump them up more

I think there is some massive over thinking going on.

It's YOUR home, with DP and DD.

You simply don't have the space to host guests in ideal conditions any more because they're already permanent household members rooms.

They can either sleep on camp beds, sleep in your offered room, or find a local B&B/airbnb/hotel.

It's not rocket science... you need to bear in mind with all this musical chairs nonsense you're thinking of, this is going to set the expectations for years to come.

I say this as a resentful adult who was turfed out of "my" room every time guests came to stay - i am extremely protective and anxious about my personal space/bedroom privacy now due to a childhood of coming 2nd to a range of fucking family members who always turfed me out and made me feel like a guest in my own room. fine as a toddler maybe but not ok as a small child then young teen. ridiculous.

don't make the same mistake.

I'd sort out your daughter's room how you want. The sleeping arrangements of the grand parents should be secondary. Get a sofa bed/pull out bed/blow up bed to suit your needs/storage. Sort out a couple of drawers for GPs clothes for them to use whilst they are with you (don't let them leave anything). Let your daughter use her room as normal - unless you are worried GPs might leave stuff about that they shouldn't..

Give them once again the two choices. You may find that when faced with the choice of a put up bed v your bed that has clean bedding on it they will choose your bed and the dog worries fade.

Sort out a couple of drawers for GPs clothes for them to use whilst they are with you (don't let them leave anything).

Fuck that. this happend in my house too, meaning various guests left stuff which became a permanent feature - but on both grandparents sides. made me feel like a guest in my own room since i could only use a portion of the drawers etc.

Just get a double bed for your daughter. Then she sleeps in with you during parent visits.

@user3837313202 The one I’ve just looked at says it comes with build in charger/pump that takes 3 minutes to blow up, is this one ok?

I've slept on the IKEA day bed with the trundle underneath and both are very comfortable! I would get one of these that your DD can use as a bed proper and then when her DGPs stay they can use both and she can go in with you. Also, when she has sleepovers when she is older there are two beds.

Get the single with trundle. You are overthinking. You need minimum inconvenience for you. If they don't like the trundle bed, fingers crossed they will decide it is more comfortable for them elsewhere.

Buy a decent z bed sofa bed and no-one will be able to tell its not a proper bed. Clic clac is also good. Both are better than a pull-out bed in my experience.

Sorry it’s BZ bed rather than z bed. Eg www.laredoute.fr/ppdp/prod-545686589.aspx#searchkeyword=bz&shoppingtool=search
My in laws sleep on this kind of bed very happily

@DilemmaDelilah

As *@demotedreally* suggested I would get a bed with a trundle to put in your daughter's room. As an older person myself there is no way I could sleep on a sofa bed without another mattress on top (although that could be an option?) However, are you suggesting that they should sleep in there with your daughter? I wouldn't like that. And I couldn't afford to stay in a hotel for two weeks.

Well, I mean, beggars can't be choosers, can they? If none of the options are to your liking, and you can't afford a hotel, then maybe shorter trips are the right option.