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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think most women would prefer to be on a single-sex ward as hospital in patients?

323 replies

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 17/03/2022 15:19

This was debated in the House of Lords in the early hours today.

I'm not up to speed on this so I don't know how many single-sex wards there are in the NHS. I know it's been promised again and again but for various reasons, mostly I expect to do with money, it doesn't always happen. Now there's the additional headache of trans-identifying patients to factor in, many of whom won't have made many (or any) changes to their bodies.

My hunch is that most of us (male and female), given the choice, would prefer to be in a single-sex ward when stuck in bed with a flimsy gown on and all sorts of undignified and painful things going on with our bodies.

Am I right?

YABU - who cares, mixed sex is fine
YANBU - yes, I would prefer hospital wards to be single-sex

OP posts:

Thread gallery

gogohm · 17/03/2022 21:26

Wards are technically mixed but wards today are made up of several rooms, usually 4-6 beds in each and typically they are single sex. Long gone are the long rooms of beds thankfully

VestaTilley · 17/03/2022 21:27

Single sex, every time.

Terfydactyl · 17/03/2022 21:28

Why blame men for such behaviour as most men are ok to be around
I'm going to take exception to this too.

We know because the ONS tells us that there are 14,000 men in prison for sexual assault

gogohm · 17/03/2022 21:31

But for the record, I wouldn't care anyway, I would only be in hospital because I was ill or injured needed treatment not for a holiday. I'm grateful we have healthcare, I've lived in the USA where you can loose your house paying for the copayment!

Helleofabore · 17/03/2022 21:32

There are many more potential issues than having a male in the next bed, but I’m not going there on this discussion.

Can I ask what potential issues you are referring to, please? As in... why wouldn't it be related to this topic of not wanting to be accommodated with a male in the bay?

Mum2jenny · 17/03/2022 21:40

No comment, as said earlier

vamptramp · 17/03/2022 21:42

@Mum2jenny

No comment, as said earlier

Annette32123 · 17/03/2022 21:45

@Mum2jenny

As I said, if I’m ill enough, I really do not care if I’m in a mixed sex ward. And as I work in a hospital, I do know what I’m talking about. There are many more potential issues than having a male in the next bed, but I’m not going there on this discussion.

Yes I expect there are also a proportion of predatory male staff to worry about for example.

But that isn’t a reason to accept mixed sex accommodation.

Mum2jenny · 17/03/2022 21:49

I’d prefer a bed next to a male rather than a catty yappy female any day!

Original poster

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 17/03/2022 21:50

You're coming across as not liking women, @Mum2jenny, which is a shame.

OP posts:

GabriellaMontez · 17/03/2022 21:52

@Mum2jenny

There are always issues if you find yourself in hospital. I'd just rather not have them compounded by sharing a room with men. Especially not if I'm particularly unwell or immobilised.

Original poster

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 17/03/2022 21:53

@gogohm

I'm very grateful for free treatment on the NHS, but I have paid for it through my taxes. I don't think I have to settle for having my personal safety, privacy and dignity put at risk in return.

OP posts:

Mum2jenny · 17/03/2022 21:56

Why am I coming across as not liking women? Yes. I can tolerate them but I do not particularly put women ahead of men in my preferences. All can be ignorant individual and

Madhairday · 17/03/2022 22:00

YANBU. I have been in and out of hospital all my life for a chronic condition, staying in for weeks at a time. I've usually been in single sex wards but often when being admitted spend the night in AAU where it's all mixed and no one sleeps anyway due to it being noisy and busy. But on that ward I always feel even more vulnerable than usual, I'm usually at my sickest on admission and there have been a couple of times men in nearby beds have made some lewd comments at me and made me feel uncomfortable. Not often, but enough to know I prefer being on a single sex ward. Even with those sometimes men from next door wander through, often confused bless them, but that's just how it is, and at least the individual bays are men or women if not the entire ward.
It's easy for people to say they'd be fine with it, but I know from too much experience that it's those very times you need to feel safe, you need to feel like people are looking after you. And often you don't feel that way - that's because of cuts, not because of any failing from staff as individuals. But add mixing wards to that and I think it would be very difficult for patients. Not just women - men need their privacy too. Nurses have to perform some very intimate level care and a bloke doesn't want a woman in the next cubicle listening to everything.

I did once spend a week on a mixed ward (thank you JR Hospital) and it's was a nightmare. I felt so exposed all the time, there was a young guy in the bed next to me, i just felt awkward and so very weak I couldn't do stuff like personal hygiene properly and it would have been easier for me if it had been only women on the ward.

Jamboree01 · 17/03/2022 22:02

@XmasElf10

I think plenty of men would prefer single sex wards also! I would imagine generally most patients would prefer to be on single sex wards.

💯 agree

Coffeesnob11 · 17/03/2022 22:03

I can think of 3 times I have felt vulnerable in hospital.
1, I had major knee surgery and was readmitted with a post op infection. The had no where to put me as the ward I was on for day one was filled with elderly patients, most of whom were waiting for a care home space. They then moved me to the cardiac ward where I was the only woman. I had to hobble with 2 crutches and just a gown Half the ward saw my bum as I went to and from the toilet with a gown on not done up properly one of whom turned out to be the landlord of the local pub who recognised me. I asked to be discharged as I stopped drinking water as I didn't want to go to the toilet.
2, I was in a private room in a nhs ward as I was an infection risk. I had been given a sleeping tablet having not slept for 30 hours due to pain and illness. 45 minutes after falling asleep a woman dementia patient came in my room and sat on my bed and started stroking my hair. I screamed the room down as I was tired, confused and didn't know where I was or who was touching me and she then refused to leave my room unless 3 staff came rishing in. Private rooms are great if there are enough staff but I certainly felt vulnerable being alone after that. I thank God it was a single sex ward (gynae so whole ward not just bay)
3, my child was born via c section and had trouble feeding. I was on a ward with 5 women and all 5 male partners stayed (my exh didnt). I had a catheter and the epidural hadn't worn off so I couldn't close my curtain and had the indignity of at least 2 of the men staring whilst a midwife tried to shove my boob in my babies mouth. Even worse it was the world cup so they didn't go home and just sat in the TV room next to the ward and the shower and snored in their chairs all night. I was feeling overwhelmed being an (unsupported) ftm and could have done with at least a women only bay to try and recover and establish bf.
Thankfully I haven't had to stay in hospital for me since my csection and I really hope it stays that way.

Madhairday · 17/03/2022 22:04

It's also a massive issue of privacy for women who are Muslim, for example - they would feel horrifically uncomfortable and it would be very upsetting for them. Not to mention women who have suffered assault, and need to feel at least in a safe space.

lifeturnsonadime · 17/03/2022 22:15

@Mum2jenny

Why am I coming across as not liking women? Yes. I can tolerate them but I do not particularly put women ahead of men in my preferences. All can be ignorant individual and

Well yes some women are disagreeable but I know full well that most women aren't capable of physically overpowering me in the way that a nefarious man might.

You might prefer to be in a ward/ bay with men, that's nice for you.

What makes you think that women's rights to say no to this are yours to give away?

DomesticatedZombie · 17/03/2022 22:18

@Mum2jenny

I’d prefer a bed next to a male rather than a catty yappy female any day!

OvOvO · 17/03/2022 22:18

YANBU
Having been on a gynaecological ward several years ago I would have been aghast to think there would be men in the the same space.

Annette32123 · 17/03/2022 22:20

@Mum2jenny

I’d prefer a bed next to a male rather than a catty yappy female any day!

How is this relevant?

It’s nobody else’s fault if you cannot manage to communicate effectively with women such that they recognise when you want to be left alone. But they are no risk to your physical well-being are they?

Not all women have had experiences that make them wary of men. Just the vast majority.

NorthSouthcatlady · 17/03/2022 22:21

I agree. After my hospital then there was a man on my ward who wouldn’t STFU. We were all in pain but unlike him didn’t feel the urge to moan and cry all night . I would complain about the snoring but that was blocked it

Mum2jenny · 17/03/2022 22:22

Individual choice I think, but what is correct for one person may not be happy for the next one. You cannot make every one happy!!

lifeturnsonadime · 17/03/2022 22:25

@Mum2jenny

Individual choice I think, but what is correct for one person may not be happy for the next one. You cannot make every one happy!!

the NHS can't accommodate individual choice!

You are right that not everyone can be happy. That's when safeguarding ought to come into play and the Equality Act.

Single Sex spaces exist for a reason. Ensuring vulnerable women are safe is a VERY good reason to insist that spaces are single sex.

Mum2jenny · 17/03/2022 22:29

Personally I would prefer to get treated on a mixed sec ward rather than wait for a single sex ward, but that’s my choice.
If you want/need specific options, maybe go private!!
The NHS is struggling just now, so ppl need to be aware of this and accept the current practices.

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