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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most women would prefer to be on a single-sex ward as hospital in patients?

323 replies

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 17/03/2022 15:19

This was debated in the House of Lords in the early hours today.

I'm not up to speed on this so I don't know how many single-sex wards there are in the NHS. I know it's been promised again and again but for various reasons, mostly I expect to do with money, it doesn't always happen. Now there's the additional headache of trans-identifying patients to factor in, many of whom won't have made many (or any) changes to their bodies.

My hunch is that most of us (male and female), given the choice, would prefer to be in a single-sex ward when stuck in bed with a flimsy gown on and all sorts of undignified and painful things going on with our bodies.

Am I right?

YABU - who cares, mixed sex is fine
YANBU - yes, I would prefer hospital wards to be single-sex

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
2DemisSVP · 17/03/2022 20:08

Has the voting been disabled ? It’s not working for me ?

ErrolTheDragon · 17/03/2022 20:13

YANBU, of course.

If there are a few people who are uncomfortable for whatever reason on the ward for their own sex, then the obvious solution is to have some separate rooms off the (correct sex) main ward, not to make everyone else uncomfortable instead.

Toddlerteaplease · 17/03/2022 20:21

I wouldn't care, the only thing I'd worry about is the men snoring.

lifeturnsonadime · 17/03/2022 20:23

@Toddlerteaplease

I wouldn't care, the only thing I'd worry about is the men snoring.
Good grief some women snore too.
Toddlerteaplease · 17/03/2022 20:23

Not then I don't think I'd feel particularly vulnerable just because there are men around. They are I'll too.

Babdoc · 17/03/2022 20:26

Hospital patients are mainly elderly. They can be sexually disinhibited due to Parkinson’s medication or dementia. Such men have caused distress on mixed wards by displaying their genitals or climbing into women patients’ beds. No woman should have to risk this, let alone when previously traumatised and currently ill and vulnerable.

BigHairyCoconut · 17/03/2022 20:29

@Titsflyingsouth

YANBU

I would hate to be on a ward with men.

I don't even share a room with my DH so I definitely wouldn't want to sleep in a room with random blokes.
Babyboomtastic · 17/03/2022 20:34

Generally yes, I'd prefer single sex. But I think they're may occasionally be exceptions - ie very specialised wards, or a very specific bay, where the positives of being closer to specialist staff might be the deciding factor, and there wouldn't be enough patients to have 2 bays.

Just10moreminutesplease · 17/03/2022 20:38

I hate being on a ward in general, but I don’t think I’d feel any worse if some of the patients were male. It’s the general nearness of other people when I’m in pain that bothers me.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 17/03/2022 20:38

Personally I would not care at all about being on a ward with men.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 17/03/2022 20:41

I had to have surgery following a miscarriage. I was a day patient but woke up from anaesthetic, following the procedure, very dishevelled, blood stains on the gown all around my genital area and on the sheets, in a mixed ward with a man directly across the aisle from me.
My curtains were open.

I had to walk down the corridor past three or four other men to use the toilets to change and get dressed. I didn't particularly care because most of my grief was on having lost my baby, but it still took a little piece of me, to have to cope with that.

I don't blame the chaps - they were probably horrified but, they were still there and looking, and just... Sad

Annette32123 · 17/03/2022 20:43

@AlternativePerspective

Thing is how far would you want that to go? A single sex ICU for instance just isn’t practical. ICU beds need allocating according to need not according to sex.

I’ve spent time both on ICU and CCU and both have been mixed sex. And on CCU the people who were worse and most disruptive by far were women.

When I moved down to the main ward there were all single sex side rooms with 2 patients to a room.

Men in ICU and CCU are not a threat to women. Because they cannot safely get out of bed unaccompanied and the staff ratio in ICU and CCU is typically 1:1 or 1:2.

So not relevant really.

Mum2jenny · 17/03/2022 20:43

Personally if I’m ill enough to be in hospital, I do not care about single sex wards. There are enough female predators around. Why blame men for such behaviour as most men are ok to be around.

Fimofriend · 17/03/2022 20:44

YANBU

Terfydactyl · 17/03/2022 20:47

@Mum2jenny

Personally if I’m ill enough to be in hospital, I do not care about single sex wards. There are enough female predators around. Why blame men for such behaviour as most men are ok to be around.
Female predators? Really?
Curlywurlyontoast · 17/03/2022 20:47

Maybe she means those females that have a penis.

Peasock · 17/03/2022 20:48

If there was enough staff so that there were always some around at night for example then I'd find it okay if it was because there was no other alternative, but absolutely not because some biological men want to be validated as women.

Annette32123 · 17/03/2022 20:48

@Mum2jenny

Personally if I’m ill enough to be in hospital, I do not care about single sex wards. There are enough female predators around. Why blame men for such behaviour as most men are ok to be around.
There are barely any female predators around. Why do you think there are plenty?
DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 17/03/2022 20:48

@Mum2jenny

Personally if I’m ill enough to be in hospital, I do not care about single sex wards. There are enough female predators around. Why blame men for such behaviour as most men are ok to be around.
It's not just about predators. It's about dignity. As per my post just before yours I had a really sad (not illness) related admission and I wasn't worried about being raped or molested, I was just sad to have to face what I did in front of men.
TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 17/03/2022 20:48

When I was pregnant with my third (she was later born prem) and I thought I was miscarrying I was put into a urology ward for a bit. It was me and an elderly woman and two elderly men in a bay. The man opposite me was in a gown that kept exposing him. I don’t think he was doing it on purpose but I kept getting an eyeful. I was feeling feeling very sad and quite vulnerable and really could have done without that.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 17/03/2022 20:51

Hang on I just need to get out my bingo card

“Predatory women”

Check Grin

Meanwhile back on planet reality 98% of sex offences are carried out by men

Original poster
Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 17/03/2022 20:51

@Mum2jenny

Personally if I’m ill enough to be in hospital, I do not care about single sex wards. There are enough female predators around. Why blame men for such behaviour as most men are ok to be around.
Please have a look at crime statistics from around the world. In the criminal justice system almost all sex offenders are male. Most violent crime is committed by males. Your statement that 'there are enough female predators around' is just not backed up by evidence.

As for 'most men are OK to be around' - nobody's saying they aren't. The point is the predatory types don't come with a warning sign tattoed on their foreheads. Safeguarding is about preventing bad things happening by taking sensible precautions. One of those is keeping women and children away from all men when they are vulnerable. Decent men understand this and accept it.

OP posts:
Annette32123 · 17/03/2022 20:53

@BOOTS52

I was just checking here in Ireland if there are mixed wards and think for a while there was when there was a shortage of beds etc and you can understand in I.C.U. there would be a mixed ward. There was one incident in 2018 where a 16 year old girl with a lot of injuries was put on a mixed ward with 3 other men and one of these men had a long history of serious psychiatric disorders and at 5am she awake to him touching her inappropriately her breasts and vagina over her pyjamas and she could not move to press the emergency bell. A nurse came in because the man's monitor went off as he had left his bed. She was moved to a private room but requested to go home as traumatized and it has affected her deeply and when she was doing her leaving cert exams and obviously has affected how she views older men. Her dad stayed with her all night in the private room as she was terrified. Just shocking to think this could be happening so much and single wards must be a standard thing. What about trans men also who still have a penis, are they going to be in the female wards. In Ireland anyone can just change their name and status from a man to female so scary to think men are in women's spaces where we should feel safe.
Trans men are female so they don’t have a penis and pose no threat to either men or women. However they may be at risk when vulnerable when located with males.

Trans women are male and most retain their male genitalia which is why women are not comfortable sharing intimate spaces with them. They are as much as risk to women as all other men are.

Helleofabore · 17/03/2022 20:58

Yet 98+% of sex offenders are male in the UK.

yes. NAMALT but still this is

www.womenarehuman.com/sexual-offending-per-capita-female-male-and-transgender-both-sexes/

this statistic is repeated around many countries internationally.

Hence, why in safeguarding it is important to acknowledge the risk. And to acknowledge that a huge majority of those sex offences were against females.

And to acknowledge that the likelihood of the female having to share with a male will have had some male trauma and feel distress or at the very least, discomfort.

Mum2jenny · 17/03/2022 21:21

As I said, if I’m ill enough, I really do not care if I’m in a mixed sex ward. And as I work in a hospital, I do know what I’m talking about. There are many more potential issues than having a male in the next bed, but I’m not going there on this discussion.