How often do you and your partner say “I love you”?

[SixteenTwelve]

Following on from the other thread about how often you kiss your partner, how often do you say “I love you?”

I chatted about this with a friend once and she thought couples were normally in one of two camps:
-multiple times a day
-hardly ever

I don’t think it’s a reflection of how much someone necessarily loves another person but I do think it’s interesting. We are in the multiple times a day camp and sometimes DP and I will text each other that we love each other during the day as well. It’s a bit teenagery I guess but it’s been 10 years and no sign of stopping.

Often, not necessarily every day.

Several times a day but I say it with meaning. Not out of habit or 'fly away' comment

Very rarely and it always feels awkward.

I don't think my dad ever told me and my mum very rarely but I never doubted their love. I never missed them saying it either. It didn't really strike me as unusual till reading this thread.

I do tell my parents now at times (they still don't) and I tell the kids all the time.

Never, my DH has literally never said it except a few times during arguments when I've said "you don't love me at all" and he's replied "I do love you BUT blah blah blah". I said it a few times at first but when I realised it would never be reciprocated I decided I'd never say it again.

I try to say it to my dc often as I always wanted my parents to say it to me as a kid, but they never have, then or since. Not that they were bad parents, the opposite, it's just not something they do.

I think it's true that you don't need to say it to have a good relationship, also that two people in a bad relationship can say it. However there is something very, well, loving about saying it. It's not just that you love them, it's also showing you want them to know it and being a bit soppy.

My DH wouldn't want to give me the satisfaction of him saying it to me, he wouldn't lower himself to that. Same with me parents, they love me yes, but there is definitely an edge of not wanting me to think they are proud of me, not wanting me to feel proud or "get above my station", who do I think I am, etc. I do not sense that edge from people who say "I love you" a lot.

I'm in one camp. Dh is in the other! I am very huggy, kissy, loving. Dh is not, we say it multiple times a day but I suspect if I didn't he wouldn't. We don't text or chat in day tho unless he is working from home.

Together nearly 20 years and we still say it multiple times a day. Always have.

Everyday. At least once. I don't recall us saying I love you a lot growing up.

@SixteenTwelve

If you say it lots did you grow up in “I love you” households. I can’t remember my dad EVER saying “I love you” even though I know he does. DPs family are all about saying “I love you” - I hear it more from his family than my own!

I remember my dad going to work, him and my mum kissing on the doorstep and parting with I love you. DW and I say it daily, she probably says it more than me. Occasionally we'll text during the day something lovey but that frequency wained after her company put out a memo on phone use (Miserable bastards).

Multiple times a day. Lots of hugs and kisses here too. No one leaves the house without a round of hugs. My dm said it lots, but my df has never said it to me. He shows his love in other ways.

Been married 27 years. We don’t say it much if ever, it’s not something I need to hear or need to say.

We both say it lots of times a day.

As little as possible.
DH always says it when he's feeling homesick working away, if I don't say it back he moans. I hate it feeling forced.
Grew up in a family who rarely said it. Hugging was not a thing we did much either, I find it really awkward when the inlaws want to hug me and try to have a child in my arms to avoid it.

@SixteenTwelve

If you say it lots did you grow up in “I love you” households. I can’t remember my dad EVER saying “I love you” even though I know he does. DPs family are all about saying “I love you” - I hear it more from his family than my own!

We say it lots throughout the day. I didn't grow up in a household where 'I love you' was heard at all. In fact, apart from writing 'love from' in greetings cards, the word 'love' was hardly ever used.

Together 18 years.

We both say it multiple times a day.

Sat watching TV and one of us will just say it randomly and the other always says it back

Rarely on text or phone calls though

Every day, def did not grow up in a 'love' household!!

I think it's been exchanged approximately twice in the space of six years. It's completely unimportant to us both.

All the time, most times we speak we say it at the end :) We've been together 4.5 years and married just over 6 months.

@Chely

As little as possible. DH always says it when he's feeling homesick working away, if I don't say it back he moans. I hate it feeling forced. Grew up in a family who rarely said it. Hugging was not a thing we did much either, I find it really awkward when the inlaws want to hug me and try to have a child in my arms to avoid it.

I like hugging but I hate when people want to kiss you on the cheek, I always gave them my ear and went for a hug instead. I don't want to be kissed! Lol it was always so awkward.

Used to say it a lot, but as time goes on together 40 years, for us it means much more than to say it 24/7 , we know we love each other it’s what we do for each other that actually means more, being kind, respectful etc

At least once a day, either outloud or by Whatsapp message.

Never. Ever. I don't come from a love you house, though both my partner and I do say it to our son. Interestingly, he does not reciprocate, or give kisses, but is at least generous with hugs.

Multiple times a day. I think its important to say it. My parents never told me they loved me and it left me with little self esteem.