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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find the school run relentlessly exhausting

327 replies

Longcovid21 · 16/03/2022 09:21

I will admit I feel a little under the weather at the moment and the school runs always fall to me (single parent). However I find the school runs absolutely exhausting. Other mums and dads don't look as broken as I feel. From waking up, cajoling to get dressed, recharging bags with packed lunch, fruit, water , getting them off screens which they sneak back on to as soon as my back is turned. Getting them to eat breakfast. Getting them in the car. Nag nag nag. Then rinse and repeat every day. They are 10 and 6 so the older one is a bit more independent but it's still exhausting for me. I work full time but am exhausted before I even start. I can't eat breakfast until they're in school as its too stressful. Also getting myself ready and making sure I look decent. Does anyone actually find the school run manageable or dare I say it enjoyable? What's your secret?

OP posts:
Clymene · 16/03/2022 13:11

@Potatoesdonthavefaces

Most of the people on here have told OP how.to get more organised. Few have recognised how hard it must be as a full time single parent. No matter how organised she gets, she will never get any help and the mental load of that must be huge. I think it's important to recognise that rather than just offering solutions.

I find being.a working mum and getting my one DC out of the door difficult and I have a DH.

Why are you making that assumption? Confused

I am a single parent working full time. My advice is entirely based on my experience of being pretty much where the OP was four or five years ago.

Clymene · 16/03/2022 13:13

And tbh, taking back control and putting systems in place to make things run more smoothly really does help with the stress

SilverDoe · 16/03/2022 13:16

I like the school run (I only do the morning, DP does the pickup at the moment but I'll be doing both soon!) but it is the type of thing that is lovely when you are organised and up on time and a nightmare if you're not.

If I have all clothes including mine laid out, lunches packed (only 1 in school the other is preschool so has packed lunch), bookbags ready etc, it's fine. I am also looking into having nice breakfasts prepared as I do find it hard getting out the door!

MotherofPearl · 16/03/2022 13:18

We have always had a total screen ban for weekday mornings. I have a violent antipathy to making packed lunches so my three DC all have school dinners. And we are fortunate to live within walking distance of school, so that helps a lot.

LuaDipa · 16/03/2022 13:41

I always loved the school run but hated evenings once they were home as that always seemed to be most stressful. Getting their reading or homework done, dinner, bath and bed at a reasonable time then making sure everything was set up for the morning for everyone - bags packed and by the door, uniforms out and breakfast set up - as well as getting the house back in order was horrid. But it did mean that getting them ready and out of the door was much easier.

TrooBloo · 16/03/2022 13:43

@MotherofPearl how much does that cost? School dinners here are £2.50 per child per day! So £37.50 for 3 kids per week. No way Jose.

CrabLegs · 16/03/2022 13:45

I always found it less stressful to park a couple of streets away and walk then it was to look for a space and cram into it.

Definitely no screens or TV in the morning.

I used to put clothes for the next morning over the bannister.

Only hot food for packed lunches as it's easier. Pasta mostly. Reheated in the morning, into a flask. Piece of fruit. No fucking about with sandwiches and five other things.

I don't do nagging in the traditional sense. I can't be arsed. Grin I expect everyone to do what they need to do and take some responsibility for themselves. So I make things harder for them until they learn. If you don't put your shoes away after school then I will call you downstairs to do it. If you don't wash your pack lunch things then you don't have them the next day and you have school dinners and a Dora the Explorer water bottle. If you aren't ready when you should be then no TV tonight AND I won't be ready when it's time to go somewhere you want to go.

Cocomarine · 16/03/2022 13:45

@Longcovid21

I will have to work out how to put extra controls on the devices. I'm not very good at that stuff.
You have a 6 and 10yo. You either get good at this stuff, or you take the devices away. It’s just not acceptable for a parent in 2022 to give a device to a child without first getting to grips with controls. Nothing to do with school runs!

But back to the school runs, the very first time they snuck back on, the devices should have been put out of reach. You need to be absolutely hardline about that. Anyone who still sneaks back on it, loses it that evening.

Lauren1983 · 16/03/2022 13:46

I don't mind it apart from in bad weather (like today! Sad) but I don't work during the week and only have one child so don't have to rush anywhere.

superplumb · 16/03/2022 13:47

Hate it. Youngest gets me up about 6 so I'm already knackered. Then its teo hours of moaning at then ti eat breakfast, get dressed then when we leave the house, not to run off because of the roads then having to wait in the playground, usually in the rain. Hate hate hate it. Cant wait until they're old enough to walk themselves

MotherofPearl · 16/03/2022 13:47

@TrooBloo My youngest is in Year 1 so still gets free school dinners. Middle DC we pay £2.20 a day. Eldest is in secondary school and it's not a set amount. We top up her account and then she buys what she wants. It probably does cost more than packed lunches but worth it to me in terms of time and hassle saved. I certainly appreciate that this won't be the case for everyone, and also that some people don't mind making packed lunches.

Original poster
Longcovid21 · 16/03/2022 14:50

I have exactly the same feeling OP, Iron and B12 tablets have really helped me with fatigue. Constant routine Monday - Friday, back the lunches the night before, create a list on the fridge so the kids can see what routine has to happen in the morning

Thanks. Will try extra vits. Its just so boring isn't it. Dressing them in the same thing every day. Going to the same place at the same time. Dull dull dull! I can be efficient and military but its not my modus operandi tbh.

OP posts:
MangyInseam · 16/03/2022 14:55

You don't need screen controls, lock them in a box, super low tech and you can do it all day if you want.

How do you keep them off after school?

Anyway, clothes, bags, and lunches done ahead helps. Also, enough sleep. If they are getting to bed on time, say 8:30, they will be more focused in the morning.

I do think the modern tendency to have kids in schools requiring parents to drive makes things a lot more difficult.

Original poster
Longcovid21 · 16/03/2022 14:57

Most of the people on here have told OP how.to get more organised. Few have recognised how hard it must be as a full time single parent. No matter how organised she gets, she will never get any help and the mental load of that must be huge. I think it's important to recognise that rather than just offering solutions.

Many thanks for recognising this. Flowers. I am pretty organised (milk delivered every night for cereal in the morning, packed lunch often done the night before, always clean clothes available, book bag already packed, alarm set on google speaker). But yes the relentlessness of it and the mental load and drudgery I think it is, more than anything, though the tips are really useful to see how others do it. And others that seem to mildly enjoy it.

OP posts:
MangyInseam · 16/03/2022 14:58

@carefullycourageous

Homework at 7.30?! What fresh hell is this?!

If you are an early rising household this is a good option. My kids did a bit of this in secondary, of their volition. They always were up 1.5 - 2 hours before school as we tend to get up about 6:00 or 6:30, so why not use some of the time?

I think one thing that is not factored in is that those of us who naturally get up earlier do find the morning routine easier.

I know a number of early rising adults who do this, and they say their mornings are often the most productive part of the day. There aren't other people around to distract them.
Sleepingonmyfeet · 16/03/2022 15:35

@Longcovid21

Most of the people on here have told OP how.to get more organised. Few have recognised how hard it must be as a full time single parent. No matter how organised she gets, she will never get any help and the mental load of that must be huge. I think it's important to recognise that rather than just offering solutions.

Many thanks for recognising this. Flowers. I am pretty organised (milk delivered every night for cereal in the morning, packed lunch often done the night before, always clean clothes available, book bag already packed, alarm set on google speaker). But yes the relentlessness of it and the mental load and drudgery I think it is, more than anything, though the tips are really useful to see how others do it. And others that seem to mildly enjoy it.

I’m glad somebody else said this. I was exhausted just reading about other peoples organisation!
Hawkins001 · 16/03/2022 15:37

My perspectives would be having equipment prepared the night before, so it's all ready

Hawkins001 · 16/03/2022 15:38

As for the psychological side of it, I guess one day at a time

Sleepingonmyfeet · 16/03/2022 15:39

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Benjispruce5 · 16/03/2022 15:56

I bet the single party thing but I did 100% of school run and prep even with a husband.

Benjispruce5 · 16/03/2022 15:56

That should read- I get the single parent thing

SafelySoftly · 16/03/2022 15:58

No screens in the morning at all! Simple, non negotiable rule.

Sleepingonmyfeet · 16/03/2022 15:58

@Benjispruce5

I bet the single party thing but I did 100% of school run and prep even with a husband.
Did you also do everything else, everything, including paying for everything?
Sleepingonmyfeet · 16/03/2022 15:58

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Original poster
Longcovid21 · 16/03/2022 16:06

**SafelySoftly

No screens in the morning at all! Simple, non negotiable rule.

No one else said this, good thing you told OP, hey?*
Grin

OP posts: