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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want son to share Netflix password!

145 replies

idontgetpaidenoughforthis · 16/03/2022 07:16

Someone is using our Netflix account when everyone in the smiley is at work. I'd got an idea that it was DS (18) girlfriend.

I changed after getting the notification that it was being used on a new device. DS wasn't at home until yesterday and he asked me for the new password to put in his smart tv. Then last night he went to girlfriends house. This morning I got an email notification that the account was signed into on a streaming stick at 23:37. It can only be him at girlfriend's house so her whole family can use it.

AIBU to think I pay for the service and someone else should not get it for free? Or am I being tight-fisted?

OP posts:
Original poster
idontgetpaidenoughforthis · 16/03/2022 19:21

Thanks all, glad I'm not the only one who would be annoyed by it. I knew there'd be some saying I'm tight or mean, but I strongly feel there is something to to said for "you want it you pay for it"

DS has never asked if he could share the password, girlfriend hasn't asked but then again we don't ever see her.

Perhaps she can't change the password but there's all sorts of account details and settings she has access to that I'm not entirely comfortable with. Would be different if I knew her well I suppose but they've not been going out all that long.

OP posts:
cuno · 16/03/2022 20:21

@idontgetpaidenoughforthis

Thanks all, glad I'm not the only one who would be annoyed by it. I knew there'd be some saying I'm tight or mean, but I strongly feel there is something to to said for "you want it you pay for it"

DS has never asked if he could share the password, girlfriend hasn't asked but then again we don't ever see her.

Perhaps she can't change the password but there's all sorts of account details and settings she has access to that I'm not entirely comfortable with. Would be different if I knew her well I suppose but they've not been going out all that long.

All sorts of account details? Really? Like what? 😂 I just signed into my own Netflix and the only thing I can see is my email address. There is literally no other info anyone can see. You can't see your card details because it's all starred out! Please enlighten us about the "all sorts" of info that makes you so uncomfortable.

Of course you're within your rights to just not let your DS use your Netflix. And of course I'd find that weird and quite mean. You sound like you'd be one of those infamous MILs we hear so much about on here. Pick your battles.

ShirleyPhallus · 16/03/2022 20:26

Yeah I find it really weird too, imagine being the 18 year old girlfriend and your potentially future MIL wondering if you’ll somehow use her Netflix taste for nefarious reasons.

As a separate point, I find it really sad that the OP has a view of “if you want it you pay for it” for her own child. I still call my parents house “home” and they’d welcome me for whatever, I’d certainly treat my own children the same and really wouldn’t care about this

Original poster
idontgetpaidenoughforthis · 16/03/2022 20:34

I've absolutely no problem with my son using the Netflix account, just him sharing it with all and sundry and I don't really think I'm in danger of being a dreaded mother in law they've been seeing each other 3 months 🙄

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 16/03/2022 20:35

@idontgetpaidenoughforthis

I've absolutely no problem with my son using the Netflix account, just him sharing it with all and sundry and I don't really think I'm in danger of being a dreaded mother in law they've been seeing each other 3 months 🙄
Grin he’s not sharing it with “all and sundry”, he literally logs in to use it when he goes to see his girlfriend. You’re the one saying you’re not comfortable with all the information she might be able to use about your from being logged in!
gamerchick · 16/03/2022 20:39

Change the password, log him in to his telly yourself so he doesn't know the password. Sorted.

cuno · 16/03/2022 20:46

All and sundry? Good grief, you're prone to exaggeration, aren't you?

cuno · 16/03/2022 20:47

I think it's ridiculous you expect him and his girlfriend to huddle around a laptop that he would have to transport back and forth if they want to watch Netflix at hers. It's just not normal. So of course he's going to sign in on the TV at hers. I find this whole thing so bizarre.

doadeer · 16/03/2022 20:53

I don't remotely care. Loads of people have ours 🤷‍♀️

blubberyboo · 16/03/2022 20:58

I think you are completely over reacting and in danger of coming across as a bit of an ass really.

He’s logging on when he’s at her house. In my experience that means he and she are wanting to watch something. It doesn’t mean her whole family are freeloading off you! The rest of her family probs don’t even know they are watching Netflix in her room. They won’t be watching it in the living room.
So you are being really offensive to her family.
Second she can’t do any damage. You can periodically change your password and even if she did change it ( unlikely …. And you are judging her here before she has committed any crime)
You could still reset your password and take control again via email.
Stop embarrassing your son over something so trivial. There will be bigger battles and if I was him I’d be really ashamed of you for throwing a tantrum over this

Hawkins001 · 16/03/2022 20:59

@idontgetpaidenoughforthis

I've absolutely no problem with my son using the Netflix account, just him sharing it with all and sundry and I don't really think I'm in danger of being a dreaded mother in law they've been seeing each other 3 months 🙄
You could always change the passcode then offer to input it in x device for him
PoloMintPatty · 16/03/2022 20:59

Did you see this OP?

www.vulture.com/2022/03/netflix-password-sharing-test.html

TheReddestJohansson · 16/03/2022 21:33

@Pyri

I can’t believe how many uptight people on this thread. It’s just Netflix. Worst that happens is it gives you different “next watch” recommendations or puts you in different order on some tv show. It wouldn’t even occur to me to discuss “boundaries and respect” but just to ask him to set up a new user for himself and use that one.
So - you wouldn’t discuss boundaries and respect, but you would set respectful boundaries for his usage by asking him to set up a new user for himself? Gotcha! You are so much cooler and more chill than everyone on this thread saying basically THE SAME THING Grin
rosiebl · 16/03/2022 21:53

Change the password again whilst your son is out.
Go to his room, log back into Netflix on his smart tv.
Next time he asks for password, ask why given it's logged in on his tv.

FindingMeno · 16/03/2022 21:55

I'd be highly unlikely to notice let alone care, unless my payment went up.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 16/03/2022 22:04

Ugh, some people are so cheap. If they want Netflix, surely they can pay the £10 a month for it? I used to share my Netflix password until once, I logged on and too many users were on. I logged everyone out so I could watch. CFs text me to moan they weren't able to watch! I changed to one user following that, changed the password and told them I didn't have Netflix anymore.

Netflix leeches are so ridiculously tight. I bet they're the sort that expect non-drinkers to cover their wine when the bill is split.

Dreamstate · 16/03/2022 22:16

If she wants to use it outside of when your son is there then she should pay half the cost or get her own account.

I shared my password to my sister and her OH to watch one particular thing. They've been using it ever since and they take home so much more income than I do but won't even pay half which works out cheaper for both of us then having our own accounts. With everything else going up I am having to look at what I can cut down. So I do find it slightly cheeky they don't pay anything get it for free when they can afford it. I'm not too nice to not say anything cos ill be made to feel petty or tight.

Netflix have just put up their prices aswell.

I just think if your going to share the other household should at least pay half the monthly fee.

Momicrone · 16/03/2022 22:19

People generally don't like neighbours using their WiFi, it's kinda the same

declutteringmymind · 17/03/2022 07:04

Change your password and don't give it to him.

Or Charge him half for Netflix if he wants to be the big man and impress his girlfriend.

Keepingthingsinteresting · 17/03/2022 07:33

@Dreamstate

If she wants to use it outside of when your son is there then she should pay half the cost or get her own account.

I shared my password to my sister and her OH to watch one particular thing. They've been using it ever since and they take home so much more income than I do but won't even pay half which works out cheaper for both of us then having our own accounts. With everything else going up I am having to look at what I can cut down. So I do find it slightly cheeky they don't pay anything get it for free when they can afford it. I'm not too nice to not say anything cos ill be made to feel petty or tight.

Netflix have just put up their prices aswell.

I just think if your going to share the other household should at least pay half the monthly fee.

@Dreamstate I’d change the password to kick thé out and tell them you’ve cancelled. Will be interesting to see if they get their own subscription and offer to share with you….
Fairylightsongs · 17/03/2022 07:40

There’s a thread on here about someone who doesn’t want to share heir wifi code with a house guest. I really dont understand either thread. It’s no issue if they use it, she won’t steal your Netflix if they split up. Confused

Frazzled2207 · 17/03/2022 07:53

Yanbu
To be fair to you son he may not realise that this is “wrong”.
It’s in the Ts and Cs that it should be shared with your household only.
No problem him using his own device in her house.

I’d be explaining then changing the password

Pyri · 17/03/2022 08:02

@declutteringmymind

Change your password and don't give it to him.

Or Charge him half for Netflix if he wants to be the big man and impress his girlfriend.

Is it particularly impressive to a teenager to have access to Netflix??
Ikeptgoing · 17/03/2022 08:10

@idontgetpaidenoughforthis

I pay for a 5 profileNetflix, all my DCs and my parents use it which takes up one each and no spare. So it bothers me if someone else has access. You can't watch on same profile at the same time and it messes up your lists.

My DCs aren't allowed to log into anyone else's device anymore- So never at girl or boy friend nor friends houses .

On the very rare occasion I have agreed they could -they have texted to ask me, logged in without friend seeing password, watched on their profile , then they log out of our Netflix account on that device once film is over. Most their other friends have Netflix so they don't need to. Also DCs have ourNetflix logged into their phones and laptops so they use those to watch which is what I say usually.

I change the password if any unrecognised devices show as watching and logged in on my Netflix or any streaming TV account (when logged into website).

If they break my rule, DCs aren't then told password again, they lose Netflix for few days (usually until someone explains!) and then I log their devices back in with only me knowing password for few months (meh, then I relent and tell)

I am harsh because I had 10 houses of friends/ (rich)ex H watching my Netflix account due to my DD logging into everywhere and giving password away and it caused all sorts of problems. One of DDs friends thought it'd be fun to (teenage) change all our profile names and reset all the languages for late night "prank". It took ages to undo it as the instructions were set to Russian, German etc

It was never happening again. I'm not being 'tight', I have limited money, people can buy their own and not steal a service I pay for. Nor ever mess up a service I pay for.

Nelliephant1 · 17/03/2022 08:13

Loads of people have our password it's not costing you anything so why he selfish?