Aibu or should my husband be trying to help me?

[allupsidedown]

I've got covid and I'm in the middle of a flare up of IBD. I've been struggling to eat because it hurts my stomach. It is also painful to move and I'm feeling very weak. I am able to drink but Yesterday I ate 1/4 of a bagel. I'm trying to stay in isolation so the rest of the household are fine.
My husband is acting like I don't exist. He prepares food for himself and the kids but doesn't make for me. I've been dragging myself to the kitchen, cleaning after myself and trying to get something. Today I just can't. I'm in bed. I can't face climbing back up the stairs. Have eaten nothing since yesterday breakfast.
The only time he has come near was to ask if today was pe day or a uniform day.
I have to admit I'm feeling a bit neglected.
Am I being a princess when he is organising the kids and working? Should I woman up and look after myself?
I honestly think I might just ebb away up here and he would barely notice.

Christ do we have the same husband?! I'm married to an uncaring twat as well.

Just text him and ask him straight to bring you food and a drink.

Hugs to you and I hope you feel better soon.

I know I am an adult but everyone needs a bit of care when they aren't feeling well

Yes you jolly well do. It unbelievable that he wouldn't get you the medicine you needed or feed you. Even a pet would get that much attention. He is showing a complete lack of care, and so what if he has to cook the kid's tea, it's not that much of a stretch. He is their other parent after all.

Why is he acting like a martyr because for a few days he has to take care of his own children. When you are better OP have that talk.
In the meantime texting is your friend.

He is being an absolute sick and punishing you for being ill. I’d be so fuxhed off, not sure I could forgive it

I’ve currently got Covid and it sucks. Dinners have been made for me, as have drinks, stuff from the supermarket has been got, the kids have been looked after, and that with a husband who works silly hours. If he’s not here there are ready meals bought to stick in the microwave.

I’d be desperate to get better to be raging at him if I were you OP. Know it’s hard when you’re weak.

If Aliens ever read MN they would wonder what the point of men is beyond procreation!

To ‘work silly hours’ in well paid jobs, yet ‘need everything explained to them’ in order to do basic parenting and domestic work.

He sounds very uncaring op
Aren’t you exhausted having to spell every little thing out to him?

If my husband did this when I was not eating and very ill I would be seriously looking at how strong my marriage was.

OP this is not the normal reaction of how a partner who apparently loves you should behave.
Not nice at all and could you ever consider treating him that way? He should learn a very tough lesson when you’re on your feet. What a selfish twat!
Sorry you have to go through this when so poorly. 💐

This man clearly doesn't give a shot about you op. Why are you with him?

@DameHelena

He has form for just not being able to prioritise. Oh, he's quite able. Does he struggle to 'prioritise' at work? No? Thought so. He's a twat. It's called strategic incompetence.

This.

You can real judge your partner when you are ill.

He's a Class A prick.

I wouldn't be able to look at him and I sure as hell would NEVER forget his totally disregard for me.

This is deal breaker stuff.

He's probably thinking 'I have to take care of the kids and that's all I can focus on'

If this were me, and it has been, I would simply order takeaway for my meals using his card. I get water when I go to the toilet, which is often if you're ill. Grab a glass of water, and if you feel you can eat order a subway or a Chinese.

@DaggerIsle

It appears that on MN if one is sick one should ride it out without food or medicine so as not to bother one's partner, as he will be too busy have to just... survive? If one is super lucky, said partner might call his mother to help out.

Whilst in reverse a woman manages to go to work,do housework/school runs etc and makes sure her ill husband has food and medication and has taken note of what said can and cannot eat due to a medical condition........

@DaggerIsle he didn't ask his mother to help! She did

[quote Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov]@DaggerIsle he didn't ask his mother to help! She did[/quote]
Yep probably because
1- she is also conditioned that men can’t possibly be asked to actually look after their own dcs, themselves AND a partner that is ill. You know the person that is supposed to be the love of their life blablabla
2- she knows how he is and she knows he will behave like a twat.

In this case she had to get her MIL's help (as I mentioned).
The second post was more general and not specifically about OP.
It's this expectation that whenever women are sick they have to carry on as normal.
When they are really men have to step up. But don't expect them to deal with things- they will help with their kids, while running around causing chaos and asking where clothes are, how to work things, what to cook... and more often than not will call their mothers to the rescue.