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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

House guest sneakily adding your wifi to their phone is rude yes?

430 replies

HDDD · 14/03/2022 09:44

I mean, I don't mind any guest accessing my wifi BUT at least ask right?

OP posts:
Readytopop2022x · 14/03/2022 18:52

Doesn't bother me! Ours is on the fridge so our guests can use it! Doesn't make a different in costs to our bill!

Maggiethecat · 14/03/2022 19:01

God, I wouldn't want to be your invited guest Confused.

I'm presuming they've overlooked your oversight in not offering the passcode and just got on with it since everyone knows the code is usually on the router!

Kite22 · 14/03/2022 19:47

I suppose anything could have happened if we're going to change the OP's version of events.

Well yes, except no-one is, as the OP hasn't specified. We are all having to 'presume'.

Teastheword · 14/03/2022 20:24

@Kite22

I suppose anything could have happened if we're going to change the OP's version of events.

Well yes, except no-one is, as the OP hasn't specified. We are all having to 'presume'.

Ok Smile But the title of the thread is " house guest sneakily adding your wifi to their phone is rude yes?" So assuming it actually was done sneakily I would have to agree that it is rude to do so.

Meaning of sneakily:like or suggestive of a sneak; furtive; deceitful. ( Dictionary.com)

FlouncerSIT · 14/03/2022 20:45

@implantreplace We were in rural Northumberland. The other family member was in South Africa, where connections can often be flaky at best. We don't have load sharing in this country yet, althouth the way things are going, we might all have to learn to live with it before long.

Our journey that day took us up the A1(M) on a winter's day when, as usual, there had been accidents and delays of several hours, so by the time we passed the service stations where we might have been able to stop and pick up the WiFi, they were closed.

WiFi connections in rural Northumberland are, to put it mildly, not exactly fantastic. The nearest town to the village concerned was Morpeth, not exactly a brimming metropolis. The village itself is literally in the middle of nowhere. And once you come off the A1(M), a lot of that area is pitch black, given that night falls at around 3pm in the north in the winter.

And the point is that the "friend" had been consulted, several times, about whether it was acceptable to use their WiFi, given the timing. And they had replied, several times, having lost a parent themselves a couple of years earlier, that they "understood how important it was". But their actions didn't bear that out. It was all lip service (not uncommon with this particular ex friend on other matters as well).

I have other friends and relatives who will happily give you the WiFi along with a cup of coffee when you arrive as a matter of course, although mostly they work in tech and it's not far off the equivalent of showing you the bathroom and where you're going to sleep....

Dagnabit · 15/03/2022 08:38

Good god, you sound like such a great host. You seem more peeved because they were on their phone and you think they should have been having a conversation with you which is fine but you’d need to give more information.

Onlywomengivebirth · 15/03/2022 08:46

It’s not a real thread until someone posts a dictionary definition

implantreplace · 15/03/2022 08:52

[quote FlouncerSIT]@implantreplace We were in rural Northumberland. The other family member was in South Africa, where connections can often be flaky at best. We don't have load sharing in this country yet, althouth the way things are going, we might all have to learn to live with it before long.

Our journey that day took us up the A1(M) on a winter's day when, as usual, there had been accidents and delays of several hours, so by the time we passed the service stations where we might have been able to stop and pick up the WiFi, they were closed.

WiFi connections in rural Northumberland are, to put it mildly, not exactly fantastic. The nearest town to the village concerned was Morpeth, not exactly a brimming metropolis. The village itself is literally in the middle of nowhere. And once you come off the A1(M), a lot of that area is pitch black, given that night falls at around 3pm in the north in the winter.

And the point is that the "friend" had been consulted, several times, about whether it was acceptable to use their WiFi, given the timing. And they had replied, several times, having lost a parent themselves a couple of years earlier, that they "understood how important it was". But their actions didn't bear that out. It was all lip service (not uncommon with this particular ex friend on other matters as well).

I have other friends and relatives who will happily give you the WiFi along with a cup of coffee when you arrive as a matter of course, although mostly they work in tech and it's not far off the equivalent of showing you the bathroom and where you're going to sleep....[/quote]
My point was

Between you and your partner you had ZERO data

Absolutely nothing to do with the wifi situation

FlouncerSIT · 15/03/2022 09:47

@implantreplace Where did I say we had zero DATA? We had data, we couldn't get a mobile signal though, which is what I should have said in the beginning, not WiFi, and if mumsnet had a ruddy edit button I could have edited to make that apparent.

I don't know if you've ever visited Northumberland, but like some parts of West Cornwall, Somerset, and Wales trying to get a mobile signal can be impossible - you might just about be able to contact the emergency services. There is nowhere in the south east of England or the other extremely overcrowded bits of these islands I can give as a comparison that comes close in terms of explaining just how lousy the mobile signal can be.

Even if we'd had a signal, it wouldn't have lasted long on a call to South Africa - WhatsApp regularly cuts out even on decent WiFi and forget attempting to connect to Skype or Teams. And no, before you mention we "should have had" enough money on the phone to call the other end of the planet, we didn't.

The point is that this "friend" had AGREED. In advance. More than once. I had practically BEGGED. Of course, what I didn't point out to her was that it was going to cost her ZERO PENCE to allow us to "borrow" her WiFi.

And in case you're wondering, the timing was an issue as that time of day had been pre-agreed with the dying parent as a "check in" time. What we hadn't anticipated was that the A1 would be full of idiots who didn't know how to drive in northern winter weather and would end up causing crashes (though given that I grew up in the north, I should have taken that into account and we should have probably set off the day before. With tents, torches, emergency flares, and possibly a St Bernard with a barrel of whisky round its neck.)

This is why we now just stay in hotels, with WiFi, rather than have to put up with sideways looks and bulldog-like interrogation about "why we had no data"....

implantreplace · 15/03/2022 10:28

You said your partner was forced to buy a day’s data from BT Confused!

implantreplace · 15/03/2022 10:30

* I eventually said my partner needed to contact their parent, and just paid for a BT day pass.*

implantreplace · 15/03/2022 10:32

A very good friend
A friend you are travelling a long way to visit
A friend who are so close to that you and your partner and staying over
A friend who knows you urgently need WiFi

Doesn’t give it to you and so you have to buy a day’s pass

That is very odd

implantreplace · 15/03/2022 10:33

Oh and a friend you had “BEGGED” for the WiFi code

So odd

implantreplace · 15/03/2022 10:47

Ah apologies
You were buying WiFi day pass

So as you were tapping in your payment details in order to purchase

Was your friend just looking on?!

FlouncerSIT · 15/03/2022 11:10

@implantreplace This was a BT WiFI/Internet access day pass, not a mobile phone pass or voucher.

"Friend" wasn't even looking on by the time my partner managed to connect; "friend" was in the kitchen admiring her new floors and the big fancy ironwork clock the husband had managed to finally hoist on to the new kitchen wall in a location to her satisfaction a couple of days earlier. She'd spent half an hour showing us her collection of stuff, and in the end I had to tell her that my partner was going to go and log on to the Internet to speak to the parent overseas and we were just going to buy a WiFi pass and connect that way. The penny STILL didn't drop. She still didn't volunteer the code. It was like she didn't remember the previous messages or conversation.

I did have one slightly more charitable theory that she might not have actually known the WiFi code or where to find it - her husband had been delayed on his journey home from work (by more lousy traffic) and he does all of that kind of thing in their household.

I was so angry and upset at the whole thing that I had forgotten we could have used our own BT login from home to connect if necessary, hence the buying the day pass as that's the screen that came up when we tried to connect.

This was the weekend that I discovered the person I had thought, until then, WAS a good friend - really wasn't. This is just one of many reasons they're now an ex-friend - there'd been plenty of warning signals, but this was the absolute icing on the cake...

implantreplace · 15/03/2022 11:13

Friend?

You can’t seem to stand her. WiFi issue aside

Very very odd

Brighteyedtriangle · 15/03/2022 11:15

Unless this was your neighbour who popped round for coffee then YABU

FlouncerSIT · 15/03/2022 11:39

@implantreplace You're right. I don't, any more.

But that hasn't always been the case. When I first knew her, she was pleasant and kind, and though money was an issue for both of us as we were both in low-paying jobs at the time, she was brilliantly creative at making what she had go a long, long way. I learned huge amounts from her in that respect, and we had a lot of shared interests and some really good times together although we usually met up outside the home. And 30 years ago, the Internet wasn't such an integral part of life as it is now - Smartphones really weren't a thing.

Sadly, over the years, particularly as various men have come and gone in her life, and the houses have gotten bigger, more showy, and in much more "select" areas, her behaviour has grown more and more self-centred. Although she's really quite well off now, she's even more penny-pinching, if possible, and much more materialistic. And I've obviously changed too - as happens over 3 decades!

Like many people, during the pandemic I took a long hard look at many things, including various relationships (like this one - although the Saga of the WiFi all happened just before the pandemic was officially announced) and cut out what wasn't working any more. And I'm sure the same happened in reverse, that I was also cut out of other people's lives.

gettingolderbutcooler · 15/03/2022 12:08

No of course it's fine.
Meanie. Wink

Maggiethecat · 15/03/2022 14:14

@girlmom21

Imagine being upset about this on the day the government are launching a scheme for people to give refugees a home for 6 months...

OP please don't volunteer for the scheme.

😂😂

16 pages later and no sight of OP - perhaps busy preparing to take in a refugee. God help them!!

Parpophone · 15/03/2022 14:27

House guest sneakily adding your wifi to their phone is rude yes?

@HDDD

Starting a thread on MN with almost no detail and then not coming back to engage with anyone on the thread is rude yes?

Maybe I'm aghast that a grown adult can't live for an evening without their phone, and maybe have I don't know, a conversation.

If your real-life conversation skills are anything like those demonstrated on this thread then it's hardly surprising yes?

Maybe the guest has taken OPs wifi home with them

HELLITHURT · 15/03/2022 14:45

I think OP is demonstrating how a grown adult doesn't involve themselves with forums..........

implantreplace · 15/03/2022 14:48

@HELLITHURT

I think OP is demonstrating how a grown adult doesn't involve themselves with forums..........
What the OP is demonstrating is how to be a shit, uptight and anal host
EverNapping · 15/03/2022 18:43

@FantasticFebruary as @FinallyHere says the details can be standard across a batch of devices.
Also it makes your home network weaker and more susceptible to attacks.
The advice was, last time I looked, to chance all details including the name & make the passkey & password the longer the better.

Also if you like to make your own entertainment, there's nothing like making someone enter in a 64 character random alphanumeric password whenever they change their device. But that's a bit of a narrow interest I'll admit WinkGrin.

FantasticFebruary · 15/03/2022 18:54

[quote EverNapping]**@FantasticFebruary* as @FinallyHere* says the details can be standard across a batch of devices.
Also it makes your home network weaker and more susceptible to attacks.
The advice was, last time I looked, to chance all details including the name & make the passkey & password the longer the better.

Also if you like to make your own entertainment, there's nothing like making someone enter in a 64 character random alphanumeric password whenever they change their device. But that's a bit of a narrow interest I'll admit WinkGrin.[/quote]
@EverNapping

🤣🤣🤣grief, my lot barely manage the much shorter ones!!!

My printer is a little twat too, I often have to re-add it to the network, so I'll make my own life much more difficult!!

Any hints & tips how to change them??

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