Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cancel the whole thing?

115 replies

Anon53228 · 13/03/2022 18:07

Having photos done for our house next week so we can get it on the market. Already delayed it twice due to not getting house photo ready. Today I just lost my temper at DH and told him to cancel the whole thing and let’s not move. I’m really overwhelmed. I do 100% of the cleaning, cooking and taking care of our 2 young kids (under 5) and I work full time. He does nothing except go to work. He literally finished his dinner, leaves plate on table and goes to bed leaving me to deal with bedtime for kids abs clean up after dinner.

I’m embarrassed with the estate agent coming next week as house is a tip. Theres clothes everywhere and I’m really depressed which makes anything a huge issue. I’ve told him to just cancel it and we’re going to live here for ever now. I cannot cope. Shall I just leave it or shall I take a breather and spend all night cleaning?

I absolutely hate him. He never understands the pressure on me. I asked him to help me for just one hour this weekend and he hasn’t. It’s just clothes everywhere and dishes piling up.

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 13/03/2022 18:09

Get the house on the market and move into a new house without your useless husband.

Blinkingheckythump · 13/03/2022 18:11

Move out without him, he's a waste of space

Gardeningcreature · 13/03/2022 18:12

Oh dear op.
I would lose my shit over this big time.
Sorry probably not helpful.

billy1966 · 13/03/2022 18:12

@Hellocatshome

Get the house on the market and move into a new house without your useless husband.
Absolutely this.

Get the house sold so you can lose the waster.

MojoMoon · 13/03/2022 18:15

You don't have to have immaculate photos to sell a house.

If the house is sensibly priced, it will sell.

You may get some people who cannot imagine it without clothes hanging up but many people can.

If it was a rented house, a tenant would be highly unlikely to both tidying.
I've bought two rentals, their photos were full.of crap. It's fine. Most people can see Past that.

If you want to sell, just get the photos done whatever. And then consider not telling your husband where you are moving to

Original poster
Anon53228 · 13/03/2022 18:17

@MojoMoon

You don't have to have immaculate photos to sell a house.

If the house is sensibly priced, it will sell.

You may get some people who cannot imagine it without clothes hanging up but many people can.

If it was a rented house, a tenant would be highly unlikely to both tidying.
I've bought two rentals, their photos were full.of crap. It's fine. Most people can see Past that.

If you want to sell, just get the photos done whatever. And then consider not telling your husband where you are moving to

That’s made me feel better about the situation. Yes you’re right it doesn’t have to be amazingly clean. The EA when he initially came over to give pricing pointed out the dust on the mirrors and tv! Told me to make sure it looks presentable before pictures
OP posts:
coloradoqueen · 13/03/2022 18:20

Given that you hate him, it's probably worth putting it on the market and binning him off in the process.

WTF475878237NC · 13/03/2022 18:22

Selling the house is step one to a better life, without this selfish man!

MordenLarch · 13/03/2022 18:24

He sounds vile. If you put him on the market what would you get for him? Very little I’m guessing

CastleBeckett · 13/03/2022 18:26

@Hellocatshome

Get the house on the market and move into a new house without your useless husband.
Agreed. Why on earth did you have children with him!
DrSbaitso · 13/03/2022 18:27

@Hellocatshome

Get the house on the market and move into a new house without your useless husband.
I was thinking this.
Lookingforatimeslip · 13/03/2022 18:29

I’d put it on the market and move somewhere else without my useless husband

Hopefulsunrise · 13/03/2022 18:30

He sounds disrespectful, lazy, thoughtless and immature. You should aim higher you deserve more.

londonmummy1966 · 13/03/2022 18:30

First thing to do is to stop doing anything for your husband - don't cook for him, do his laundry or ironing. If you feel you need a break at the weekend tell him you're taking one and that he has to do the childcare as you leave the house. Then either kick him out or move into a new house without him.

Seafog · 13/03/2022 18:31

Sell the house, ditch the man

CantStandMeCow · 13/03/2022 18:33

I know it feels like this is the start of loads of stressful stuff but it might not be. I allocated three solid days to get the house clean, booked all viewings on one day and sold the house after that day. This might well be the worse bit.

Your husband however is a separate issue and will be the same issue in the next house. You must be so knackered.

FantasticFebruary · 13/03/2022 18:34

Why are you selling? Who wants to sell?

Datsandcogs · 13/03/2022 18:34

Get a different agent in, that one doesn’t sound helpful!

ImInStealthMode · 13/03/2022 18:35

Have you signed with this EA yet? If not I'd sack him off and go with someone else. He sounds rude and patronising and doesn't deserve a commission.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/03/2022 18:35

He needs to go.

Whether or not you sell and split the profit or stay put without him.

LagunaBubbles · 13/03/2022 18:38

Why are you still with someone you hate? Confused

DontLookBackInAnger1 · 13/03/2022 18:39

Do you accept him being useless or is it something you want to change?

I would think very seriously before moving to a new house with him.

If you accept that's the way it is. That you do it all and you're fine with that, then you need to dig deep, get the house cleaned and move (or get a cleaner in).

If you want things to change, because you're not happy with the division of labour, then YOU need to cancel the pictures. Let him know you're serious and won't consider moving until he steps up his contribution for at least 6 months. Once it's fairer, then you can consider moving.

I couldn't be happy with someone who sees me as a skivvy. But I know lots of women seem to think the house is "woman's work" on top of working full time and seem fine with that. If that's you, then you need to accept it.

Thehop · 13/03/2022 18:40

Is the rude estate agent your husband and mate?

Get a new agent, and then rid of your useless husband, he sounds hideous

DontLookBackInAnger1 · 13/03/2022 18:41

I disagree with previous poster. Unfortunately, I think a messy house doesn't sell easily unless you live in a highly desirable area. Buyers will wonder what else hasn't been done right or looked after.

RandomMess · 13/03/2022 18:45

Why are you letting your H be lazy and not do his share?

I wouldn't be moving house when your marriage is so unbalanced.