Cancel the whole thing?

[Anon53228]

Having photos done for our house next week so we can get it on the market. Already delayed it twice due to not getting house photo ready. Today I just lost my temper at DH and told him to cancel the whole thing and let’s not move. I’m really overwhelmed. I do 100% of the cleaning, cooking and taking care of our 2 young kids (under 5) and I work full time. He does nothing except go to work. He literally finished his dinner, leaves plate on table and goes to bed leaving me to deal with bedtime for kids abs clean up after dinner.

I’m embarrassed with the estate agent coming next week as house is a tip. Theres clothes everywhere and I’m really depressed which makes anything a huge issue. I’ve told him to just cancel it and we’re going to live here for ever now. I cannot cope. Shall I just leave it or shall I take a breather and spend all night cleaning?

I absolutely hate him. He never understands the pressure on me. I asked him to help me for just one hour this weekend and he hasn’t. It’s just clothes everywhere and dishes piling up.

Get rid of him.

You’re doing everything for you, him and the children. Get rid of him and that’s one less responsibility.

My sympathies on your useless dh. Deep breaths.

I assume the house is in both your names.

Do you have to move? Do you want to move or does he want to move or do you both want to move. Obviously if you don't have to move or if he wants to move and you less keen, then bin the photos and the sale since he is not helping

If you want to move, what do you plan to do after you sold the house. Will you buy a new one (what stage are you at) or will you rent. Are you staying in the area or moving to a different area, country? In other words, what is the impetus for selling the house?

Do you need to revaluate your relationship with your dh so that there is a more equal division of labour? That discussion may need to take place with a view to whether you can put up with his uselessness for the rest of your married life. It is time to give him a wake up call.

Forget the estate agent, get yourself to a divorce lawyer.

I second sell the house, leave the useless man child

Do you have a joint account? Can you book a professional deep clean and tidy before the photos?

Tell DH that you are booking a cleaner for. Deep clean prior to photos. Then do it.

Whilst cleaner is there take the kids to soft play, sit down, drink coffee and contemplate some of the previous posters comments. FWIW, in my experience some men don’t step up to being a partner until they are given the choice between that - and in no uncertain terms, the alternative. (Living alone means more housework no less).
But of course you have to be serious if you are giving that ultimatum. Good luck OP.

Keep the house. Ditch the husband. Seriously, he sounds a complete waste of skin

I do 100% of the cleaning, cooking and taking care of our 2 young kids (under 5) and I work full time. He does nothing except go to work. He literally finished his dinner, leaves plate on table and goes to bed leaving me to deal with bedtime for kids abs clean up after dinner

I mean this kindly, but you know this isn't normal right? Its not something you should have to put up with- he sounds lazy, disrespectful and can't be arsed with family life. I agree with a PP about selling it with a view to leaving him.

Imagine how much tidier your home will be without another adult's mess all over the place.

He literally finished his dinner, leaves plate on table and goes to bed leaving me to deal with bedtime for kids abs clean up after dinner

This is not normal behaviour in a relationship op. Don’t accept it. Do you know what his upbringing was like, I suspect his dad did the same?

Definitely ditch the man, stay in the house.

Surely you need to be in the relationship board to discuss the fact that your DP is a waste of space and should you sell and split the assets or get him to leave?

Op, I would slow down getting the house on the market and if your relationship is that bad and this isn’t just things coming to a head because it’s a stressful situation, consult a divorce lawyer before you commit to putting the house on the market. You have young children; it might not be in your interests to be marketing if you actually want to stay (without him).

He can use the money you save on not moving towards his housing costs when you separate.

I was in this position 6 weeks ago. Have 2 under 3 and hubby works away all week so it was a nightmare and I almost exploded with the pressure. When the estate agent came round I was saying ‘oh don’t worry I’ll clean that, I’ll move that’ etc. She told me not to worry about any of it as it will sell as it is (markets a bit crazy atm)

I booked photos on a Sunday and got hubby to take the kids out whilst I spent a couple of hours tidying and cleaning. Hid washing and some other stuff in my car. But it wasn’t immaculate.

It sold within a couple of weeks no I wish I didn’t stress as much as I did.

Honestly, don’t worry about it being perfect. The viewers will know it’s lived in and there is much worse out there.

So you have 2 children, a full time job and you do all the cleaning cooking and housework? And he didn’t help you for 1 hour this weekend? No wonder you are depressed! That’s a lot for 2 people never mind all on one! I think you need to speak to him very direct and discuss why you have to do everything? You don’t like in the house alone you didn’t have children on your own and you have a full time job just like him.
The house doesn’t need to be immaculate it’s a family home and that’s how families live. Don’t stress yourself out what ever will be will be I’m sure it will sell x

Why on earth do you allow him to leave his plate on the table like this?

Get the house sold and get away from this waste of space.

Are you planning on moving to a bigger house where you’ll have even more cleaning to do? If so I wouldn’t bother.

I don’t think the house photography is the real issue here…

What the hell are you doing with a guy like that? It’s 2022, not 1822.

Hope you're selling the house so you can spilt up!

Just find somewhere to hide all the crap on photo day - maybe in the car or with a friendly neighbour? I did it for my neighbour when she was having EA photos done!

He does nothing. Ditch him and move into your own house. Sounds like you're a single parent anyway and in your own words, you 'absolutely hate him'.

Chuck it in and get out. Don't let your kids grow up in this toxic environment. Getting photos of your house done is the least of your worries.

Do you think he's going to help you pack? Move? Be a different person in a different house?

This is an easy opportunity OP presenting itself to you on an actual plate. You're selling anyway. Make yourself a happy little life going forward

Ditch the EA, get one with some manners. Ditch the husband get one with some manners.