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Original poster

Cancel the whole thing?

115 replies

Anon53228 · 13/03/2022 18:07

Having photos done for our house next week so we can get it on the market. Already delayed it twice due to not getting house photo ready. Today I just lost my temper at DH and told him to cancel the whole thing and let’s not move. I’m really overwhelmed. I do 100% of the cleaning, cooking and taking care of our 2 young kids (under 5) and I work full time. He does nothing except go to work. He literally finished his dinner, leaves plate on table and goes to bed leaving me to deal with bedtime for kids abs clean up after dinner.

I’m embarrassed with the estate agent coming next week as house is a tip. Theres clothes everywhere and I’m really depressed which makes anything a huge issue. I’ve told him to just cancel it and we’re going to live here for ever now. I cannot cope. Shall I just leave it or shall I take a breather and spend all night cleaning?

I absolutely hate him. He never understands the pressure on me. I asked him to help me for just one hour this weekend and he hasn’t. It’s just clothes everywhere and dishes piling up.

OP posts:
garythesnail · 13/03/2022 20:05

My house was filled with crap and painted appallingly, don't think they'd cleaned the kitchen for years! Most people can look beyond that and see potential, it's all about location, space, light etc. rather than dusting. Nice photos can help but they aren't the be all and end all.

Scandisaurus22 · 13/03/2022 20:07

Tomorrow night leave his dirty plate on the table. Should work well as a conversation starter.

skgnome · 13/03/2022 20:19

You have 2 problems:
The EA - get another, really, we cleaned and hid clutter before the pics, even got some flowers, our EA moved furniture around to make the rooms look bigger (and put it back where it originally was), told me not to worry about my daughter’s bath toys since they showed it was a family bathroom (they even displayed the nice ones on the bathroom picture)… they every folded the towels hotel style…

  1. Your husband, moving, selling, buying - it’s massively stressful- and from your OP, he’s useless, if you’re stressed now, you’re going to be 100 times worse - I’m hopping you’re just massively stressed of he being a total waste of space lately and he has some good qualities… otherwise… why are you with him?
Gilly12345 · 13/03/2022 20:22

Sell the house and include the useless Husband.

Unsure33 · 13/03/2022 20:23

Unfortunately it will get worse . Selling the house is going to be stressful and it does not sound like you are in the right frame of mind .

Why are you moving ?

It won’t change having such a selfish partner .

Lalliella · 13/03/2022 20:25

Why are you moving house with someone you hate? Why in the 21st century are women still putting up with this shit from men? Ditch the lazy fucker. You’ve got problems a lot bigger than some dust on a mirror OP.

AmyDudley · 13/03/2022 20:27

He doesn't want to sell otherwise he would be helping. It really is that simple. If people want to do something they do it. He can't be arsed to sell the house, for whatever reason. Maybe he never wanted to, maybe he doesn't care in any way, but if he wanted to sell your house he would be putting his back into getting it ready for photos. If you are having this trouble getting his help just for photos what is the stress going to be like for you once you start having viewings.

My XH was like this, I just did the whole thing by myself and let him get on with being a lazy uncooperative git. He still tried to scupper viewings by e.g deciding to fry a large pan of steak and onions just before viewers arrived. Its a kind of passive sabotage, if you want to move you will have to do it by yourself, and I'd leave him behind for the next occupants, or pop him in a skip with the rest of the rubbish.

theresAtablet4thatNow · 13/03/2022 20:27

Just another voice saying that if your husband is this terrible, you have bigger problems than a little clutter and dirty laundry/dishes. If things with him are this bad, do you think you might consider splitting from him? (I would suggest giving him an ultimatum and working on the marriage, but if he's this useless, I can't see much hope.) Is it in your best interests to sell the house before or after leaving him?

stuntbubbles · 13/03/2022 20:29

My advice is the same as everyone else’s: LTB. Get a new, less rude estate agent; sell the house as is if you’re in a fast market, book a deep clean and a day of AL to sort it if you’re not; get a solicitor and take your half of the equity to your new single life bachelorette pad where you only have to deal with the children, not the lazy arse of a husband.

NerrSnerr · 13/03/2022 20:29

I do 100% of the cleaning, cooking and taking care of our 2 young kids (under 5) and I work full time. He does nothing except go to work. He literally finished his dinner, leaves plate on table and goes to bed leaving me to deal with bedtime for kids abs clean up after dinner.

How has it come to this? Do you want to stay married to someone who clearly doesn't respect you enough to do his share?

What does he say when you ask him to do his 50% or the housework and childcare?

iRun2eatCake · 13/03/2022 20:35

Don't sell your marriage and health isn't in the right place currently and you don't want to get tied into a new property.

mumwon · 13/03/2022 20:37

Get pictures of kitchen living room bathroom & your bedroom & garden (if its OK)
tidy areas that will show & (kick) hide stuff behind furniture or put it one side of the room that isn't being photographed, use wipes to get worst of dust off & set up dining table throw kids toy outside if necessary - in fact if its a bright day throw clutter outside!
Put cover on bed with a few cushions
You can just do lounge & kitchen to start with & get rest of photos later
Oh & toss useless dh outside before you throw clutter on top of him

Summerfun54321 · 13/03/2022 20:37

Guys this is a zombie thread from 1800 when women existed only to serve their husbands 😂

blueshoes · 13/03/2022 20:41

@Summerfun54321

Guys this is a zombie thread from 1800 when women existed only to serve their husbands 😂
What exactly is your contribution.

Hilarious.

Jaxinthebox · 13/03/2022 20:53

You have a very big husband issue, much bigger than cleaning and tidying for pictures.

Goldbar · 13/03/2022 20:56

What's the reason behind the move?

If it's for more space, chuck your "D"H and his stuff out and you may find you have enough.

katepilar · 13/03/2022 21:00

He doesnt need to "help you" for one hour. He needs to do his share.
You go to bed and sort out a cleaner tomorrow.
Sorry, it no wonder its too much for you.

gg12346 · 13/03/2022 21:01

communicate with your husband and tell him about your feelings and state of mind.Even if he doesnt do anything ,time to think again.

ThePoetsWife · 13/03/2022 21:04

Cancel the marriage.

Sounds like he brings nothing to the marriage or family life.

TooMinty · 13/03/2022 21:06

@Blinkingheckythump

Move out without him, he's a waste of space

100% this

ForeverSingle881 · 13/03/2022 21:08

Hopefully you're selling to split up?

LadyPropane · 13/03/2022 21:10

I'd go and speak to a lawyer ASAP. See what they advise. You might be better staying in the current house until you've managed to get rid of the husband.

Alwayscheerful · 13/03/2022 21:14

Tidy the kitchen
Clean the bathroom
Put all the clutter and clothes in black bin bags , put them in the garage or in the car or in the cupboard under the stairs.
Change the beds.
Get house on the market it will probably sell in less than a week.

FusionChefGeoff · 13/03/2022 21:17

What a twat. Leave him as soon as possible.

FurbleSocks · 13/03/2022 21:23

You don't have a moving house problem. You have a DH problem.

Honestly? I wouldn't buy another house with this man until he pulls 50% of his weight. When I saw everything you do AND work full time. And when I saw he even leaves his plate on the table I had to come on and say this needs to stop before you consider an even bigger financial commitment with this man.

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