Family not taking no for an answer when I have covid

[Twentyn1ne]

I'm laid up with covid, feeling very unwell and have chest pain. I have 3 small sick children also. We're all hibernating in the bedroom.

My mother, who is a binge drinker, was supposed to come round two weeks ago to collect some bits she left here. Bus pass, phone charger etc.

She didn't turn up as she went on a binge and had everyone worried about her. As usual.

Fast forward to yesterday, my birthday, she decides she wants to come and collect her things. I told her she can't, I have covid and I'm not dealing with her right now.

Today my aunt rings and says they are coming at 2.30 regardless, I can just hand them over at the door.

I said no, sorry, not dealing with it I'm too ill. She's had weeks to come.

They refuse to listen to me and are planning on turning up regardless.

WIBU to just ignore the door?

‘ They are getting bigger though and as much as I try not to let them see me stressed or upset she clearly will pick up on things won't they.’

Yes they will & yes they have.

As did you when you were growing up, but not fiercely & brutally as you endured because you are a good loving attentive parent who puts their happiness, safety & wellbeing before the visiting ( daily, weekly, whatever) demons of alcohol abuse & dependency.

@Twentyn1ne & many other posters, & you may find these sites of interest.

AlAnon family groups

National Association Children of Alcoholics

Because emotion shit sticks & you can’t get it off the soul of your shoe unless you take a good look at it.

@drawingpad

I think YABU. Your mother has an illness which unfortunately is hugely misunderstood. I can't see any reason to not simply put her things in a bag and hand them over.

Just to clarify, the illness you're talking about is binge drinking, right?

Just to clarify, the illness you're talking about is binge drinking, right?

Sorry; not going backwards. It's not remotely helpful to OP for people to continually raise the same thing.

@drawingpad

Please, don't start with the "illness" card.

Well you mentioned it

I have ran out of patience and empathy for it.

I've spent years pandering to that shit. No more.

Ok but nobody is asking you to pander, she just wants to collect her stuff. I honestly can't see what's wrong with that.

If it were ‘Just’ that we wouldn’t be here. Addiction is difficult for families too. OP is allowed to have boundaries and your gaslighting shit isn’t useful.

I honestly didn't mean it like that, I have said multiple times. I just meant give her the shit because it's easier. Why the continuing pick up? How about leave it, I have said to OP it wasn't intended to make her feel bad. We moved on...

@Twentyn1ne
Your children are suffering due to your relationship with her

@Podlesterong this thread is from March. How did you even find it?

Bag it leave outside,ignore any bell ringing