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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Turning up to baby shower with no gift?

128 replies

OMeOMy · 12/03/2022 20:10

I'm having a last minute panic as I'm due to attend a relative's baby shower tomorrow and have not bought a gift (young baby of my own, no time for anything, this is is first social thing I'll have done without the baby). It's at a cafe and we're paying for own own food plus the mum to be's. I plan to but a gift when the baby is born. Is this a massive faux-pas?! Should I try to cobble together some sort of gift this evening?!

OP posts:
AHungryCaterpillar · 12/03/2022 20:12

My friend had a baby shower and a few people there hadn’t bought any gifts but they didn’t seem like close friends. Relative is different though so I would get something personally.

11GrumpsaGrumping · 12/03/2022 20:13

I think you have to bring something...

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 12/03/2022 20:14

Can you get to a supermarket? Most of them have a nice enough range of baby clothes and toys to find something lovely.

Original poster
OMeOMy · 12/03/2022 20:14

I should add...no time to buy anything in the morning due to a kids birthday party I'll be attending (which I did manage to get a gift for!!). Aaaggh!!!

OP posts:
HunterHearstHelmsley · 12/03/2022 20:15

What time is it? Supermarkets will open at 10 or 11 tomorrow, could you swing through and get a little outfit?

AHungryCaterpillar · 12/03/2022 20:15

So you can’t stop at a supermarket on the way?

declutteringmymind · 12/03/2022 20:15

Go to the coop on the way and get a gift card. Or see if there's a pregnancy massage voucher or a pedicure voucher that you can book for mum.

Yika · 12/03/2022 20:16

I thought the point of a baby shower was to ‘shower’ the person with gifts. Perhaps I’m too literal! I’m sure they’d rather you went than didn’t though - whether or not you can manage something. How about a homemade voucher offering a home cooked meal when she has her newborn.

Original poster
OMeOMy · 12/03/2022 20:16

Do you think an online Cook voucher would do?

OP posts:
HunterHearstHelmsley · 12/03/2022 20:17

@OMeOMy

I should add...no time to buy anything in the morning due to a kids birthday party I'll be attending (which I did manage to get a gift for!!). Aaaggh!!!
Amazon delivery by 1pm? Or do a I'm so sorry, it just hasn't arrived! and take something on Monday?
BusySittingDown · 12/03/2022 20:17

I went to a baby shower once and one of the guests didn't take a baby gift - she took the mother to be a plant/flowers and said that she didn't like to give gifts before baby was born. She explained that she would be bringing a gift when the baby was here (which she did).

I thought that that was fair enough. The mother to be was happy with it.

Xpologog · 12/03/2022 20:18

Print off a voucher ?

HunterHearstHelmsley · 12/03/2022 20:18

@OMeOMy

Do you think an online Cook voucher would do?
Yes! Actually a nice idea. Or Just Eat/Uber Eats/Deliveroo. Whichever is popular in your area.
becca3210 · 12/03/2022 20:18

Cook voucher is a great idea I would have appreciated that a lot as a new mum

Skyeheather · 12/03/2022 20:18

Cash in a card?

Sunsetred · 12/03/2022 20:18

See, I don't get this. If I'm having a baby shower and inviting friends and family then I would pay for everyone's food and drink since I invited them. I would also not attend a baby shower or wedding or birthday party without bringing a gift. I wouldn't even go to a friends house for dinner without taking chocolates or flowers or something.

romdowa · 12/03/2022 20:19

My neighbours threw me a baby shower last year and tbh I was delighted with the people who didn't buy me gifts. There's only so many foot print kits , photo frames and sleeping bags that a person needs 🤣 the best present I got though was a book called my first book of poems.

Dangermouse80 · 12/03/2022 20:19

Online gift card purchase tonight.

BusySittingDown · 12/03/2022 20:21

Although could you not nip to a supermarket now? Asda/Tesco/Sainsburys do some lovely baby clothes.

BusySittingDown · 12/03/2022 20:22

Or books and toys.

mnahmnah · 12/03/2022 20:22

The way I always do it is I take something for the mum-to-be at the shower and get the baby a present when born. I usually do a ‘new mum survival kit’ - travel mug with lid, chocolate, nipple cream, eye mask etc

Twizbe · 12/03/2022 20:23

A lot of people, myself included, feel it's bad luck to give a gift for a baby before it's born.

I usually make a present (crochet) for friends but I never finish it until baby is here.

The few baby showers I've been to, I just tell the mum to be that I have a gift in progress for baby but I'll give it once they are here.

If they ask, I brush it off as a silly superstition but I don't like to chance it.

Original poster
OMeOMy · 12/03/2022 20:23

@Sunsetred

See, I don't get this. If I'm having a baby shower and inviting friends and family then I would pay for everyone's food and drink since I invited them. I would also not attend a baby shower or wedding or birthday party without bringing a gift. I wouldn't even go to a friends house for dinner without taking chocolates or flowers or something.
Yes I think this is possibly why I haven't automatically bought one already...I'm already contributing towards the mum's food and paying for mine. But I will give a voucher! Then not showing up empty handed. Thanks all!
OP posts:
Isahlo · 12/03/2022 20:25

@OMeOMy

Do you think an online Cook voucher would do?
Yes absolutely a godsend for a new mim
BusySittingDown · 12/03/2022 20:26

@mnahmnah

The way I always do it is I take something for the mum-to-be at the shower and get the baby a present when born. I usually do a ‘new mum survival kit’ - travel mug with lid, chocolate, nipple cream, eye mask etc
That's a lovely idea! At first glance I read it as chocolate nipple cream. Shock