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Original poster

Turning up to baby shower with no gift?

128 replies

OMeOMy · 12/03/2022 20:10

I'm having a last minute panic as I'm due to attend a relative's baby shower tomorrow and have not bought a gift (young baby of my own, no time for anything, this is is first social thing I'll have done without the baby). It's at a cafe and we're paying for own own food plus the mum to be's. I plan to but a gift when the baby is born. Is this a massive faux-pas?! Should I try to cobble together some sort of gift this evening?!

OP posts:
Yika · 12/03/2022 20:27

@OMeOMy

Do you think an online Cook voucher would do?
Sounds perfect to me!
SafelySoftly · 12/03/2022 20:30

Baby showers are awful!! No need to take a present, buy one when both mother and baby have safely come through labour. Much more appropriate. Certainly very chavvy affairs.

Oockla · 12/03/2022 20:31

Of course you should bring a gift, it’s rude not to!

Blinkingheckythump · 12/03/2022 20:33

@BusySittingDown that's how I read it too!

Original poster
OMeOMy · 12/03/2022 20:35

@Oockla

Of course you should bring a gift, it’s rude not to!
Even though I'm paying towards the mum to be's lunch? And if I said I would bring one when the baby is here?
OP posts:
drpet49 · 12/03/2022 20:35

I always gift after the baby has been born. No problems with that

Hairyfairy01 · 12/03/2022 20:36

Genuine question having gone to my first ever baby shower for a relative recently. I did buy a present, am I expected to buy another one when the baby arrives?

meditrina · 12/03/2022 20:37

No need to take a present

Yes there is - a shower is a specific type of gathering where you 'shower' the honouree with gifts. If it was a no-gift party, it would have a different name

And yes, a voucher is fine

drpet49 · 12/03/2022 20:37

@Hairyfairy01 no you are not expected to buy another gift when the baby has been born

sarahtalkstoomuch · 12/03/2022 20:38

The Cook voucher is a great idea

BobHadBitchTits · 12/03/2022 20:38

I actually organised a baby shower (even though I bloody hate them) and didn't take a gift.

I took something when the baby arrived.

inappropriateraspberry · 12/03/2022 20:39

Could you pick up some flowers, or order some for delivery? A small thing for the mum would be nice, and tell her you'll get something for baby when they're born.

Yika · 12/03/2022 20:40

It's true that it's a bit of a cheek to organise a shower and make the guests pay for themselves... and expect gifts on top... still, I'd take something regardless.

WutheringCripes · 12/03/2022 20:40

Definitely poor form to ask everyone to pay for their own, plus mums, and a gift.

Some people didn't get me gifts at my shower, only invited close friends and paid for everyone. Couldn't have cared less! People have lives, different financial circumstances, I was just glad to see them.

However, I think a COOK voucher is a superb idea and I will be doing that myself!!

YumiOomy · 12/03/2022 20:41

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Luredbyapomegranate · 12/03/2022 20:42

@OMeOMy

Do you think an online Cook voucher would do?
Yes perfect.
Luredbyapomegranate · 12/03/2022 20:43

@SafelySoftly

Baby showers are awful!! No need to take a present, buy one when both mother and baby have safely come through labour. Much more appropriate. Certainly very chavvy affairs.
I wouldn’t phrase it as you have, but I don’t like them either.

However the whole point is to bring a present.

ThinWomansBrain · 12/03/2022 20:44

I usually make a present (crochet) for friends but I never finish it until baby is here
my sister started a baby blanket for a friends child before it was born.
baby is now 45.
blanket not finished

Divebar2021 · 12/03/2022 20:44

So you have to buy your own food AND take a present and people query why they’re considered crass? Sounds marvellous fun OP.

Original poster
OMeOMy · 12/03/2022 20:49

@Divebar2021

So you have to buy your own food AND take a present and people query why they’re considered crass? Sounds marvellous fun OP.
I think similar sentiments my have subconsciously influenced my lack of present so far! Grin But I will follow the general consensus here and turn up with something! And be pleased when it's over Wink
OP posts:
user1493494961 · 12/03/2022 20:50

Take a packet of nappies (nappies were requested at the one shower I've been to).

ParkheadParadise · 12/03/2022 20:50

I would never give a gift for a baby before it was born.
I would buy something for the mum to be
Voucher for hair/nails
Candle
Goodie bag with their favourite toiletries shampoo/conditioner/hair mask/hand cream/perfume.

Girlmumdogmumboymum · 12/03/2022 20:51

The whole point of a baby shower is to "shower" with gifts, so you're really missing the point of the gathering to not take one.

Original poster
OMeOMy · 12/03/2022 20:53

@Girlmumdogmumboymum

The whole point of a baby shower is to "shower" with gifts, so you're really missing the point of the gathering to not take one.
I definitely missed a trick not throwing one for myself then (as my relative has done!) Grin
OP posts:
Kitkat151 · 12/03/2022 20:53

I hate baby showers....I have been to precisely 2 ( 2 of my nieces)....I have declined all the other invites ( non family)....neither my DD or DIL had them.....if I was expected to buy my own food and for the host then I wouldn’t go even if it was family.....think that’s very bad form