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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you pay £50 to attend a baby shower next week

361 replies

Donewithit888 · 12/03/2022 09:11

£50 includes the baby shower room hire, present (collective) and transport costs to get there, as it's around an hour from mine.

OP posts:
Snugglepumpkin · 12/03/2022 11:11

Absolutely not.
Right now, when so many people are worrying about how to deal with all the price rises I'd find asking something so grasping in very poor taste.

Ohfgsnotagain · 12/03/2022 11:12

No.

But I’m not a fan of baby showers anyway. Let the baby get here safely and then celebrate.

LetHimHaveIt · 12/03/2022 11:13

'I think if I see the word grabby one more time I might spontaneously combust. I mean seriously, how many times, we get it'

So fucking annoying, I agree. Stupid fucking word.

dudsville · 12/03/2022 11:13

I think baby showers have lost their way. In my opinion, which I know won't be shared universally, baby showers were best when they were a small community event local to the pregnant woman to help provide Mum much needed items and reassurance. I'm the same with weddings and gifts, I think these are for young people just starting out who need things to help set up a home. Baby showers and weddings once a person is older or is financially stable should be parties hosted at the whim and expence of the event organiser. I'll buy you much needed linen or a toaster or whatever if you're just starting out, but I'm not paying to attend or for you to go on holiday. I'm old though, and I blame a culturual shift in the 80's, when a greater percentage of the population started to have more money, for turning weddings and baby showers into money grabbing soul-less events.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 12/03/2022 11:14

No, I don’t have £50 spare for that

Catclean · 12/03/2022 11:14

No

jytdtysrht · 12/03/2022 11:15

For a close friend yes I would.

If I struggled with the 50 but could manage the 25 I’d offer that for the present and not go and let the person know.

I imagine with the 25 from several people, they could get her something really useful that she needs rather than random bits from everyone.

ukborn · 12/03/2022 11:19

No the host(s) pays - it can be a group of friends who organise and pay but you don't then say to invited guests they need to contribute.

Luredbyapomegranate · 12/03/2022 11:19

No!

Not even for my sister or BF, I’d have an excuse. But I think baby showers are weird and mad, so..

Ikeptgoing · 12/03/2022 11:21

None of the baby showers I've been to have had any stupid games, ...All have just been a group of family and good friends enjoying food and company and the chance for the mum to be to enjoy being with all her mates before the madness starts! It's a shame you missed out just because of a pre conceived idea

But that's just called spending time with family and friends.,. You can do that anyway, shock horror.. even when we or they are heavily pregnant!

Baby showers are specific events to 'shower mum and baby' with gifts and attention. It's all a very grabby party. That's not a preconceived idea, it's simply a clear statement of their purpose.

There's pressure on close people/ friends to attend baby showers, to bring gifts, spend money, or to risk seeming unsupportive or someone who "doesn't like babies!!! " Shock^^ when really it's an annoying commercialisation of late pregnancy and birth that's arrived from America. And they are usually the most tedious parties ever to attend. Unless you organised it or are the "New Mum2B !!🥰" then they are super fun!! Really super. (Oooh more pressies Glenda for darling bump.. Have a nappy cake)

Riseholme · 12/03/2022 11:21

Tbf to the pregnant woman they usually have a baby shower pushed onto them by excited friends and family.
I’ve only been to one.
It was a small afternoon tea at a house and a few games.
Everyone had a nice time.

Chickychickydodah · 12/03/2022 11:21

No!
They are a waste of time for show off and grabby people .

Justgorgeous · 12/03/2022 11:21

I just cringe when I hear “baby shower”. An absolute NO from me.

Nothavingfunrightnow · 12/03/2022 11:24

No fucking way

Wherehasthecommonsensegone · 12/03/2022 11:25

I would if it was a good friend. I’d see it like any other time we catch up as that’s roughly what I’d spend e.g I’d pay to get the train there and back, dinner and a drink or 2. I think it’s easier to view it that way.

GirlMum93 · 12/03/2022 11:26

Depends how close you are to the mother.

Seeingadistance · 12/03/2022 11:26

@Jennifer2r

I wouldn't go to a baby shower if you paid me £50, hope that helps.
This. Yep.
Baaaa · 12/03/2022 11:27

@Donewithit888

I'm not going to back out now, it's fuel costs, it was requested that we send £25 each for her present, forgot what it even is, by her sister, and most people just sent it right away like it was 5 pence.
Grabby moos
quiteathome · 12/03/2022 11:27

No. I hate the concept. I don't like buying anything for a new baby until it is here safely.

Hesma · 12/03/2022 11:27

Definitely not

quiteathome · 12/03/2022 11:28

I mean the parents obviously have to get everything prepared. But baby showers are a horrible thing.

NannyGythaOgg · 12/03/2022 11:29

no

worriedatthistime · 12/03/2022 11:30

Im going to a baby shower soon it will cost me to get there but its my choice to go
No costs other than a small gift to take of I want as food/ drink : place all provided by hosts

Chely · 12/03/2022 11:32

Nope!! I avoid them and am unwilling to have one so certainly wouldn't pay an attendance fee.

00100001 · 12/03/2022 11:33

Not a chance