Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you pay £50 to attend a baby shower next week

361 replies

Donewithit888 · 12/03/2022 09:11

£50 includes the baby shower room hire, present (collective) and transport costs to get there, as it's around an hour from mine.

OP posts:
KneadingKitty · 12/03/2022 10:41

If they were a close friend and I could afford it, yes.

Calandor · 12/03/2022 10:41

@Donewithit888

I'm not going to back out now, it's fuel costs, it was requested that we send £25 each for her present, forgot what it even is, by her sister, and most people just sent it right away like it was 5 pence.
£25 for a present isn't that much. If the rest is your petrol costs you must live quite far and really it's up to you if you want to attend. Fuel costs is your problem not the hosts.
VickyEadieofThigh · 12/03/2022 10:41

@reesewithoutaspoon

personally don't like the idea of baby showers, but then It was common when I was growing up that any baby items like prams, etc where not brought into the house until the baby safely arrived. It was considered 'tempting fate'

What I do dislike though is competitive celebrating. What starts off as a few friends a few sandwiches a nice get-together starts ballooning into hiring halls, professional venue dressers, and exorbitant guest lists in some sort of weird one-upmanship. It seems to happen with any event. School leavers discos used to be the school hall a DJ a buffet and your mates. Now they are paying hundreds for prom dresses, dinners at hotels, and hiring limos it's getting out of hand, and it's tough for people who don't have that kind of disposable income to keep up with it.

THis is spot on. Hen/stag nights used to be a one night thing (usually pub crawl and curry sort of affair), then they turned into a night, then a weekend away, then abroad and so on - all costing participants more and more. Ditto weddings.

Baby showers are a relatively new entrant to the 'have a party about something' scene - how long before it's a whole weekend in a hotel, I wonder?

Nelliephant1 · 12/03/2022 10:43

Baby showers along with the gender reveal nonsense are absolutely ridiculous. Greedy, attention seeking and tacky.

PinkSyCo · 12/03/2022 10:44

Soo cheeky of the sister and mum to expect the guests to contribute to the cost of hiring a room and stump up 25 quid towards a present. I would refuse to go.

zingally · 12/03/2022 10:45

Absolutely not. It's a party, and I certainly wouldn't expect to have to pay to go to a party.

There's the cost of a gift, fair enough, but I wouldn't expect to pay anything else.

TarcasticSwat · 12/03/2022 10:45

@spotcheck Because a lot of them are mind-numbingly boring. Sitting around sniffing chocolate out of a nappy, playing "baby bingo", watching someone open presents...it's like a 5 year old bday party. It's not everyone's cup of tea. I have only been to a couple of immediate family baby showers as a result. The ones with the big balloon arches and giant wedding style cakes a lot of people do nowadays are just ridiculous. I'm 9 months pregnant and when my friends asked me if they could host a baby shower for me I kindly declined - I don't think I'm narcissistic enough to put people through a baby shower.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/03/2022 10:47

This sounds so grabby and not at all appealing.

stevalnamechanger · 12/03/2022 10:50

@YellowPlant

I don't think you get it .

People pay to HOST the shower for the mum - the friends pay for it all

I don’t think you get it actually @stevalnamechanger Whoever hosts pays for it. So if a bunch of friends club together to throw a shower they pay for it, or the sisters/mum decided to throw a shower they pay for it. There has to be involvement and discussion between whoever wants to be involved; you don’t just book a place and send out a bill to everyone.

In my friendship group - one person takes charge and everyone chips in for the costs - typically 8-10 of us makes it manageable
Invasionofthegutsnatchers · 12/03/2022 10:55

No way. I'd spend at least £30 on a gift so I'm paying £80 to go to a cringey event I won't enjoy? Forget it.

curlymom · 12/03/2022 10:57

Not in a million years

Sisisimone · 12/03/2022 10:57

I'm 9 months pregnant and when my friends asked me if they could host a baby shower for me I kindly declined - I don't think I'm narcissistic enough to put people through a baby shower
Or maybe you could have just specified what you wanted. None of the baby showers I've been to have had any stupid games, at all. They're not compulsory. All have just been a group of family and good friends enjoying food and company and the chance for the mum to be to enjoy being with all her mates before the madness starts! It's a shame you missed out just because of a pre conceived idea

gamerchick · 12/03/2022 10:59

Me neither. I'd rather grate my face off.

Bonbon21 · 12/03/2022 11:00

Never been to a baby shower.
Ludicrous idea.. if you want to give a present.. buy..wrap..send.
Sorted.
Just another excuse to extract money.

ManateeFair · 12/03/2022 11:00

@Jennifer2r

I wouldn't go to a baby shower if you paid me £50, hope that helps.
Perfect response
Hangthetowels · 12/03/2022 11:01

Adding my no!

Ikeptgoing · 12/03/2022 11:02

Presumably there was a pre-discussion of let's all go own there together, let's 'club together' to buy baby's gift and shall we book this place (an hour away!) and all share the cost? I'd not, then no.

If ppl have baby showers it's usually pop few balloons up, in hosts house, few baby type joke decorated cakes, bring round sausage rolls and cucumber sandwiches and a £10 baby pressie you choose

But being asked just before going to pay £50 if nothing discussed before or budget set. Absolutely not.

An hours drive and back is about £10 petrol for car of 4 that's £2.50 each x2 ways (£5). So the rest of the £45 is for people invited to pay for the venue and what may be a very large present?! Do you get food at venue as well? Or is that extra?

The hosts mum and sister should have organised & paid for this. Sounds like they got carried away and haven't even thought about a budget as they want to be seen to spoil their pg Dsis/DD .

It's all very grabby

I'd rather drive myself, so I can just pop by for 1/2 hour and find baby showers a bore. It's all very "buy me stuff"

LetHimHaveIt · 12/03/2022 11:02

I'd probably spend about £50 on the gift anyway, so - yes, actually. I would.

Moonlightdust · 12/03/2022 11:03

No. That’s very rude to expect guests to pay towards room hire and demand £25 towards a gift. Each to their own but I find baby showers really self-indulgent and I prefer to send a gift once the baby’s arrived.

Degreeincodology · 12/03/2022 11:05

No. But I think baby showers are stupid anyway.

Sisisimone · 12/03/2022 11:06

The OP hasn't been asked to pay £50. She told us in the last update shes added all her own costs on to the day. Its £25 towards a gift.

I think if I see the word grabby one more time I might spontaneously combust. I mean seriously, how many times, we get it

toomuchlaundry · 12/03/2022 11:06

Some people spend a lot on gifts for friends who have just had a baby. I would normally buy an outfit/sleep suits from Next, nothing like £25-50, hope they didn’t think I was being tight!

speakout · 12/03/2022 11:09

I wouldn't go to a baby shower if you paid me £50, hope that helps.

Agreed.

MsFogi · 12/03/2022 11:10

No way. Baby showers are am abomination.

Whatwouldnanado · 12/03/2022 11:10

The whole concept makes my teeth itch. Absolutely no.