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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you pay £50 to attend a baby shower next week

361 replies

Donewithit888 · 12/03/2022 09:11

£50 includes the baby shower room hire, present (collective) and transport costs to get there, as it's around an hour from mine.

OP posts:
Sisisimone · 12/03/2022 10:26

You must realise that the mere mention of a baby shower has people apoplectic on here OP Grin.

To be going to the baby shower it must be a close friend or family member, right? So yes I would definitely pay £50.

To break it down, £25 is for the present - I'd pay around this anyway so would have no problem contributing to a big ticket item or group gifts. If you already have a smaller gift just say so and that brings it down to £25.

You're getting transport included for this to a venue an hour away from your home. Again would be happy to pay this amount for transport for such a distance. Fuel and taxis are expensive and it means I don't have to drive and can enjoy a drink. That must leave a tiny contribution towards the venue when you take transport into account.

If you can't afford it just decline the invitation but I think it sounds fine to me.

DancingBarefootOnIce · 12/03/2022 10:26

It’s cheeky of them.

Holskey · 12/03/2022 10:27

@wearingtheT

I know several people that have unfortunately had stillborn babies. I think they are grabby and tempting fate.
Who would give a shit about the baby shower in those circumstances? Would you be annoyed that you'd spent money on a gift unnecessarily?
Twinkle19 · 12/03/2022 10:27

No way would I pay that and £25 each for the present?? You should be happy to just spend the time with people her sister sounds very materialistic.

User9805637 · 12/03/2022 10:28

I wouldn't go to one either if it was free

Flippy87 · 12/03/2022 10:29

@Jennifer2r

I wouldn't go to a baby shower if you paid me £50, hope that helps.
Yeah this Grin
mumof2exhausted · 12/03/2022 10:29

Utter nonsense. You don’t ask for people to cover the cost of throwing a party. You invite people and if they wish they bring a gift. Most “baby showers” I’ve been to are just at home with food etc but did go to an amazing afternoon tea one at a fancy hotel and they covered all the costs even all the drinks

Mouldyfeet · 12/03/2022 10:32

God no!!

BoristalkedaboutBruno22 · 12/03/2022 10:32

I would if I was close to mum to be, I’ve paid to attend before. It’s normal in my group. £50 though I would be hoping that it’s epic

SofiaJessica4 · 12/03/2022 10:33

I knew a woman who used to charge an entrance fee for events at her home "to cover the cost of food / drinks". she didn't serve alcohol! or anything other than crisps I might add. people gladly paid as the events were related to her wedding. seemed bonkers to me

longwayoff · 12/03/2022 10:33

Absolutely not. Awful grabby practice.

tkwal · 12/03/2022 10:34

I wouldn't go if that's what it was costing. You could buy the mum and baby a really good gift for that amount and just give it to her/them yourself. Like other events imported from the good old US they just keep getting over elaborate and expensive and like sense of what the focus of the event should be

TheSunWillComeOut2moro · 12/03/2022 10:34

Nope, I've never been to a baby shower yet, it's all a bit awkward and grabby, paying money to attend?? We send a gift when a friend has a baby and attend the christening (can be months or years after they are born). Itd be like paying to attend a christening if you think about it. Weird concept celebrating a baby yet to be born anyway.

balalake · 12/03/2022 10:34

I would not pay £5. I would think of a reason not to go, politely decline as far in advance as possible.

Baby showers are something that should be consigned to history in my opinion.

sueelleker · 12/03/2022 10:34

Are you expected to bring a present as well?

Sisisimone · 12/03/2022 10:36

Oh I've just read your last update. So they haven't asked for £50 at all. You've just added your own costs to the day? So basically you're paying £25 which covers a group gift and a bit towards the room hire. Yes YABU FFS and you should have clarified that in your OP.

Get your own gift if youre that bothered, probs be around the £20 mark anyway surely Hmm

PinkiOcelot · 12/03/2022 10:36

No. I wouldn’t.
Why should guests pay towards room hire?!

LittleGwyneth · 12/03/2022 10:36

I mean probably yes, but I would do it with bad grace and complain about it a lot, which isn't exactly the mature decision here.

doingitforyorkshire · 12/03/2022 10:37

I wouldn't attend if you paid me £50, hate the whole idea of them, very grabby.

Calandor · 12/03/2022 10:37

Depends on the person tbh. Sister or best friend? Yes. Anyone else? No

TristesseDurera · 12/03/2022 10:38

@Jennifer2r

I wouldn't go to a baby shower if you paid me £50, hope that helps.
This
Skinnytailedsquirrel · 12/03/2022 10:38

Absolutely not. Horrible tacky events made even tackier by people expecting others to pay to attend.

spotcheck · 12/03/2022 10:39

I loathe all that sort of American nonsense

Nonsense? Really?
The set up the OP relayed is a bit strange, but baby showers are a lovely idea ( if perhaps dated)
It is meant to be a surprise, and usually hosted by a close friend or family member.
No one is forced to attend, and you give what you can afford/ what you feel would be of use.

I had a baby shower thrown for me, and I just remember the warmth of my friends and family, who genuinely wanted to support me and my baby.
Everyone brought food, my mum hosted, and we all chatted about, well, babies.

I'm not sure how that is nonsense.

DisforDarkChocolate · 12/03/2022 10:41

No.

I'm not a fan of these to be honest but I'd turn up, hide from any games and bring nice Mum and baby presents if I was invited. I would be busy if someone wanted me to pay to attend.

Jennifer2r · 12/03/2022 10:41

@spotcheck

I loathe all that sort of American nonsense

Nonsense? Really?
The set up the OP relayed is a bit strange, but baby showers are a lovely idea ( if perhaps dated)
It is meant to be a surprise, and usually hosted by a close friend or family member.
No one is forced to attend, and you give what you can afford/ what you feel would be of use.

I had a baby shower thrown for me, and I just remember the warmth of my friends and family, who genuinely wanted to support me and my baby.
Everyone brought food, my mum hosted, and we all chatted about, well, babies.

I'm not sure how that is nonsense.

That's why I don't go to them, I hate all the games and baby talk and labour talk and all the rest. So better not to go than to go and ruin it for everyone else.