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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you pay £50 to attend a baby shower next week

361 replies

Donewithit888 · 12/03/2022 09:11

£50 includes the baby shower room hire, present (collective) and transport costs to get there, as it's around an hour from mine.

OP posts:
HedgehogintheFog · 12/03/2022 09:45

I wouldn’t pay to attend necessarily, but I would contribute towards the cost of hosting one for a close friend or family member.

Sswhinesthebest · 12/03/2022 09:45

I’d be resentful.
You should be able to pick a gift or the amount you want to contribute - or at least be in a discussion about how much to all contribute.

Being dictated to would not make me happy.

SpringBeavers · 12/03/2022 09:45

(But no probably not).

Chocomelon · 12/03/2022 09:46

I went to an afternoon tea baby shower where we had to pay for ourselves but I don't think the person whose shower it was had anything to do with organising it and even paid for herself

Gonnagetgoing · 12/03/2022 09:46

No way

Heartofglass12345 · 12/03/2022 09:46

This is ridiculous! The gift should be something you have chosen yourself and you shouldn't be paying for the room! If they can't afford it they should have done it at home. I can't stand baby showers lol

Chocomelon · 12/03/2022 09:47

Actually I'd expect to pay my own petrol costs and a gift. How much is the room hire? I'd spend £30 on a gift or maybe more if someone close so actually £50 including everything is not so bad

Heartofglass12345 · 12/03/2022 09:47

@Chocomelon I wouldn't mind doing that just for the cake Grin

firstimemamma · 12/03/2022 09:47

No. I've only been to one baby shower - an afternoon tea type thing - and only had to pay for my train ticket.

Chocomelon · 12/03/2022 09:48

It was nice, it was at Betty's! Grin

user1471538283 · 12/03/2022 09:48

What? My Godson's mothers baby shower was in our family room. I bought the food and some balloons. Another friend bought a nappy cake. It was just to have a little fuss.

I dont know anyone who has hired an event place?

Chocomelon · 12/03/2022 09:48

But yes wouldnt want the gift being dictated to me I suppose and it's not usual to pay room hire

Abraxan · 12/03/2022 09:48

I wouldn't pay £50 to attend a party I wasn't hosting, regardless. Surely a party is something you attend for free, taking a gift with you, but something you have to pay for in order to go.

ReeseWitherfork · 12/03/2022 09:48

I'd decline an invitation to a baby shower which was an hour away from my house. I'd also decline a baby shower which I had to contribute towards the cost of. I've only ever (reluctantly) been to about three baby showers and given the mum-to-be be a heads up every time that the gift will arrive when the baby does.

Floydthebarber · 12/03/2022 09:49

Room hire? The people organising it should cover that but £50 for a nice present if its someone you are close to seems reasonable. Not my cup of tea at all but I'd attend one organised for a good friend (if I really had no way of getting out of it).

LadyPropane · 12/03/2022 09:50

I would resent paying to attend. I've been to lots of baby showers (I'm not in the UK) and although a present has always been expected, I have never been asked to pay to attend.

Aurorasaurus · 12/03/2022 09:50

Couldn’t think of anything worse even if was free, so no.

KezzabellaB · 12/03/2022 09:51

My daughter had a baby shower earlier in the year - me and her sister footed the bill - it wouldn't have even occurred to me to ask for payment from guests. However, the amount of invitees who asked how much money they needed to send us before the shower was amazing, I truly didn't even know it was a thing in some circles to pay to attend a baby shower! To me, it's the same as any other party and you wouldn't expect guests to pay to attend a birthday bash, for example, would you? Crazy!

FilthyforFirth · 12/03/2022 09:52

Just adding my hell no to the chorus.

LittleOwl153 · 12/03/2022 09:53

I think the way you have presented this makes it difficult to judge actually.

So you say £25 present - would you spend that ir not on the person concerned? It seems a bit high to me unless you are in that sort of circle.

transport an hour away well it costs me close to £20 in petrol each day to drive an hour to work and back... which doesn't leave much for room hire really....

That said could I spent £50 next weekend without thinking. No.

Staryflight445 · 12/03/2022 09:53

Nope!

Peoniesandpeaches · 12/03/2022 09:53

It would depend on who the shower was for and if contributing to the gift was worth it to me. A woman I know had a baby die of cot death and when she had her second pregnancy we all clubbed together to buy her a snoo as she couldn’t afford one and felt it would bring her peace of mind - I put in about that amount for her and a small part on it went towards the cost of the party (another colleague hosted it). I’ve also contributed that amount for a cousin who was broke but I wouldn’t do it if it felt like the person was being grabby.

RewildingAmbridge · 12/03/2022 09:55

This isn't clear is the£25 for the present included in the £50?
I'd usually spend £20-£25 on a gift (more of our was a close friend), pay my own petrol costs and expect to pay for my own food, so depending how fast away it could easily be £50.
I didn't have a baby shower I agree they are a bit grabby but £50 all in seems quite standard IME

RagzRebooted · 12/03/2022 09:56

@Jennifer2r

I wouldn't go to a baby shower if you paid me £50, hope that helps.
This. I've been to one, that was enough.
UpintNorth · 12/03/2022 09:57

Nope!