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Original poster

Only having tap water at a restaurant, rude?

199 replies

Chocolattay · 11/03/2022 22:04

Me and DH have a young baby and are a bit skint.

I go out occasionally with my friends and will skimp them, only have a main and juice etc. Today we finally got round to a date night, baby present.

I am BFing and he was driving. I only wanted water (since baby fizzy drinks give me awful burps and didn’t fancy juice). DH doesn’t like soft drinks and was driving.

We just had a jug of tap water. The staff did keep asking “Are you sure you don’t want a drink?” and we felt a bit pressured so in the end ordered coffees (which we didn’t really want) with our dessert.

Genuine question as I’m curious as to people’s thoughts, is it shitty to just get tap water at a local family owned restaurant?

OP posts:
Original poster
Chocolattay · 11/03/2022 22:05

Just realised this post is a grammatical car crash, my apologies.

OP posts:
Bananarama21 · 11/03/2022 22:05

I worked in the industry and we did raise an eyebrow especially when it was a jug of water.

OwlinaTree · 11/03/2022 22:06

I'd think it was unusual.

Honeyroar · 11/03/2022 22:07

If you were eating there, then no it doesn’t matter if you just have tap water.

CarConfession · 11/03/2022 22:07

I only ever drink water while I’m eating. But I’d order a drink for before/after/between courses. If you’re ordering food then they can’t really judge you can they?

OwlinaTree · 11/03/2022 22:07

You can drink when breastfeeding also if you want to.

DameCelia · 11/03/2022 22:07

We only ever drink water with meals.
Stunned to realise I have given 40 years of eyebrow raising to the catering industry!!

cuppycakey · 11/03/2022 22:07

The mark up/profit on drinks is pretty high, so in a local family run restaurant they probably did want you to order something else.

However, I think nowadays, with younger people drinking so much less alcohol, it's becoming more and more usual. My DC are in early 20s and wouldn't think twice about going for a meal and just having tap water with it.

Pumpfive · 11/03/2022 22:07

So you bought food? Tap water is fine assuming you ordered food! I used to work I the industry too and it was normal.

Original poster
Chocolattay · 11/03/2022 22:09

@OwlinaTree

I do have the occasional glass of wine/G and T at home but don’t really feel the urge to drink when out anymore. It just feels like money down the drain, I suppose BF can be a convenient excuse.

OP posts:
AnotherDelphinium · 11/03/2022 22:09

I’d just reply “oh we’ve got a drink, thank you” and if they persist “a refill would be great”.

Being pushed into drinking alcohol is really frustrating. You’ve obviously had at least two courses, so you’re hardly only ordering tap water!

Water is really great, most people don’t drink enough, why the obsession with “it’s not a drink if there’s not alcohol in it” Angry How about if you haven’t got the margins on the food you increase them rather than pressure-selling alcohol.

If I experience this I’d leave a poor review and not return.

Original poster
Chocolattay · 11/03/2022 22:10

Yes we had 3 courses each, so didn’t skimp on the food. Which is why I was a bit put out by being pestered by the waiters.

At one point a waiter attempted to take our 1/3rd full jug from the table while clearing our plates and we had to ask to keep it.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 11/03/2022 22:11

Don’t give a monkey’s about raised eyebrows, if i want tap water, I have tap water.

Precipice · 11/03/2022 22:11

As long as you're actually ordering something, there's no problem with this. Some people don't drink anything while eating (I can't even eat a thin pancake without feeling like something's stuck at the back of my throat, but I have a relative who'll eat a whole dinner without one sip from a glass). Some people come in just for desserts, eat just starters and desserts, or whatever combination of sections from the menu.

OwlinaTree · 11/03/2022 22:12

See I'm the opposite, I never really drink at home unless we've got visitors but would have a couple with a meal!

ISpyCobraKai · 11/03/2022 22:12

@Chocolattay

Me and DH have a young baby and are a bit skint.

I go out occasionally with my friends and will skimp them, only have a main and juice etc. Today we finally got round to a date night, baby present.

I am BFing and he was driving. I only wanted water (since baby fizzy drinks give me awful burps and didn’t fancy juice). DH doesn’t like soft drinks and was driving.

We just had a jug of tap water. The staff did keep asking “Are you sure you don’t want a drink?” and we felt a bit pressured so in the end ordered coffees (which we didn’t really want) with our dessert.

Genuine question as I’m curious as to people’s thoughts, is it shitty to just get tap water at a local family owned restaurant?

I do it, in fact I've done it at Michelin starred restaurants and no one has said anything.
MarmiteCoriander · 11/03/2022 22:12

If I'm driving I might have a diet coke or ask for tap water. If we are with others who are drinking, we often do ask for a jug of tap water. Even when drinking alcohol, I'd like some water on the table.

I try to avoid plastic water bottles and hate sparkling water. I wouldn't feel pressured to have coffees you didn't want!

I don't feel guilty have the cheapest or mid range meal on the menu- if thats what I want. Why should I choose the lobster, caviar and wagyu when there are other options I'd prefer?

Original poster
Chocolattay · 11/03/2022 22:13

I did once have a friend order hot water with mint at a restaurant instead of mint tea (so she’d get a free hot drink) which I found cheeky at the time (and I’ve now noticed she does it every time she eats out). But I think this situation is a bit different, there’s nothing wrong with just wanting water. We didn’t WANT other drinks, that’s all there was to it. We weren’t actively trying to cheat the system.

OP posts:
daisypond · 11/03/2022 22:14

I only ever have tap water when eating out. I don’t drink alcohol and I would never want coffee or tea with a meal. I don’t drink fizzy drinks like coke. Completely normal to me.

SagittariusDwarf · 11/03/2022 22:14

No,I think tap water with a restaurant meal is totally fine! I don't really drink alcohol while eating, and often just have tap water. I don't really like fruit juice with meals, so when I go out for food I'll often have just tap water or a diet coke.

NopeNoNope · 11/03/2022 22:15

I'd order water but wouldn't ask for free tap water. I'd rather not have a drink at all because I'd be worried about the raised eyebrows too and people thinking if can't afford a bottle of water then I can't afford to eat out, but I'd want to just have tap water because that's what I have all the time as I don't drink but id admire you for doing it if I was with you.

LubaLuca · 11/03/2022 22:17

I think if my husband didn't like soft drinks and I didn't want alcohol, I'd have driven so he could have a drink he does like. That's by the by though.

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for a glass of tap water if you don't like anything else. I like all drinks, but often ask for tap water in addition to whatever other drinks we have. I won't buy bottled water anywhere - sparkling water tastes like burps, and still water is a total swizz.

Maybe restaurants need to up their game on non-alcoholic drinks if they want to tempt people to buy one.

NopeNoNope · 11/03/2022 22:17

That's me being a tit though and caring too much about looking like I shouldn't be there.

daisypond · 11/03/2022 22:18

I think it’s so completely normal to drink tap water with a meal. It would never occur to me people might think I couldn’t afford bottled water. I never buy bottled water, ever.

Barrawarra · 11/03/2022 22:19

I think it’s a bit outdated the idea that it’s not cool to only have tap water, isn’t it? All the swankiest places have water for you automatically, and I feel less judged in a place like that. Either way I don’t really care!